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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sell a gift

308 replies

Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:10

I was bought an expensive present a few months ago, worth over a thousand pounds.

I don’t use it and won’t have many opportunities to.

I want to sell it but the person who gave it to me is clearly against this.

Is this horribly ungrateful of me or makes sense? (I could really, really use the money.)

OP posts:
tallduckandhandsome · 25/07/2021 23:14

@pleasedonttextmyman

The OP said it was from her DP.

It doesn’t matter what it is.

it does a bit.

If it's a £1000 bicycle, you can sell it well, buy a cheaper version and have some cash left.

She’s not asking for advice on how to sell it! Stop hounding OP, you really don’t need to know what it is.
tallduckandhandsome · 25/07/2021 23:15

@essentialhealing

I was bought an Apple Watch that I wouldn't use so gave it back to DP and they got a refund and kept the money

The end

You should have asked for the money, or something you do want as a replacement.
Mrgrinch · 25/07/2021 23:18

Why such a bad attitude OP? People are only asking questions.

cakewench · 25/07/2021 23:19

Just sell it. The wasted money would really irritate me.

queenofcandleford · 25/07/2021 23:20

Whatever it is... try and make yourself use it. You have it now and so can enjoy it.

Rachie1973 · 25/07/2021 23:20

Maybe OPs been bought a dog. (Expensive breed) and really doesn’t want the aggro a dog brings.

Butttttt DH has secretly fallen in love with it and doesn’t want it to go!

I’m going to go and write a book now lol

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/07/2021 23:22

I agree that what it is does make a difference to whether its worth the aggro that selling it will cause between her and her DP.

We all know the massive mark up on jewellery. Says its a ring, it may have cost £1k but will probably not even make a tenth of that on resale. And I have heard anecdotally that treadmills/bikes etc are dropping in price as there is a glut on the second hand market since the gyms re-opened. But a sought after tech item may well make almost as much as it cost new (I once sold an unused kindle that I got with a phone contract when kindles were new and it went for £30 more than a brand new one with guarantee would have cost!)

But hopefully the OP has done her research (sounds like it) so knows it worth v its cost.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 25/07/2021 23:23

Well, it was a gift so technically yours to do as you want with and if its something practical like a fancy coffee machine and you rarely drink coffee then it would be quite understandable but it sounds like it would upset your DP to sell so presumably he still feels whatever it is was a good/thoughtful gift for you. Or did he buy you something he actually wanted himself and that's why he doesn't want to sell?

Have you actually had a proper discussion as to why it might go to waste from your perspective?

SixesAndEights · 25/07/2021 23:23

@EffYouSeeKaye

I think it’s fine to return it whoever purchased it for you, so that they can return / resell it. It’s not fine for you to sell it and keep the money.
This is what I said, but it wouldn't fit with the OP just wanting to spend the money herself.
queenofcandleford · 25/07/2021 23:23

Also, if it is something valuable like an antique, keep it as an investment and sell it but not for another 5-10 years when giver has forgotten about it.

If jewellry that depreciates then enjoy it because not much point selling at a loss.

If something techy that you wouldn't normally purchase, try to enjoy it.

I am nosy to what it is but have tried to put some different scenarios down to allow for discussion otherwise it's a bit of a dead end!

FlouncingBabooshka · 25/07/2021 23:24

@LunaBunaTuna

I guess Thermomix.
Oooh - I think you could be on to something here @LunaBunaTuna.
HaveringWavering · 25/07/2021 23:28

So, this very expensive gift was bought for you by someone to whom you are close enough that he/she would notice it was missing if you sold it. With someone that close, can’t you talk to them about how they fit the wrong end of the stick and you’re grateful but will ever use it? Is there a reason why you can’t have this conversation? Will the gift giver benefit from you turning the gift into cash eg could you spend on something you’d use together like a new sofa or put towards a holiday? I’m intrigued how someone managed to get such an expensive thing so very wrong- is this an example of other ways in which your communication is not as good as it might be?

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 25/07/2021 23:29

If it was my husband, I’d tell him, he’d get the hump and then the next day we would sell it.

My money is on an exercise bike.

HaveringWavering · 25/07/2021 23:29

Got the wrong end of the stick…grateful but will never use it.

Notwavingbutdrowing3 · 25/07/2021 23:31

It does depend on what the gift is. Really. And who have it to you under what circs. You must know that.

But if you didn't want it, it's a pain to hold on to & you can recoup a lot of its value by selling it, need the money, then sell it. And just deal with the flak afterwards.

I returned a lovely expensive gift via my BFF who thought I would love it. She didn't give me the value back- although she offered to by me something else. She'd already bought me a lovely present this was extra. It was something I couldn't use as allergic but I told her I appreciated the thought and it was too much. I actually said would you mind if I regift it to a friend that will love it and use the money I would have spent, instead on me. She didn't want me to. We got over it.

Notwavingbutdrowing3 · 25/07/2021 23:34

My BFF got full money back. But if it's something you can't return, or it would cause an issue, then regift it or sell it. Don't look back . "Thankyou but it wasn't what we needed or could fit in our house, we bought this x instead which I love and Thankyou for " is the way to go if he/ she notices

Cryalot2 · 25/07/2021 23:36

Depends who bought the gift.
Obviously you are not going to reveal what it is.
Just tell the giver thank you but I don't want the gift. Let them have it back and if they choose to give you the money you so clearly want then good, but when you return a gift you have no right to expect anything back.
There had to be a reason that the person thought you would appreciate it.
To sell on is just rude.

EishetChayil · 25/07/2021 23:40

Oh for heaven's sake, just flog whatever the fuck it is and be done with it!

Ginger1982 · 25/07/2021 23:42

@Lastsundayinjuly

Tbh, I’m finding it a bit stressful, and I wish people would stop, but they won’t.

It is worth remembering that when someone says no, that should really be respected.

No is a complete sentence. Unless you’re on MN.

You started the thread. You must have known people would ask what it is and now you're finding it stressful?
Freedomprogramme · 25/07/2021 23:46

I vote piano :)

LuluJakey1 · 26/07/2021 00:00

Is it a jet ski? Grin

Maves · 26/07/2021 00:02

@Allycott yep

sergeilavrov · 26/07/2021 00:21

Could you replace it with a replica paid for out of the money you get from selling? Or if you don’t live together, could you have a break in, during which it sadly goes missing - depending on how portable?

Part of the reason people are asking what it is, apart from being nosy because it triggers curiosity, is that more specific suggestions can be provided.

Twoforthree · 26/07/2021 00:26

I think the ship has sailed. I would have made them take it back as soon as it was given to me, when it could have been 100% refunded with a receipt.

I can’t see the point of wasting money on something that isn’t wanted, but I think you’ve left it too late now. I’d be annoyed at the loss in value if I were the present giver.

Augtwo · 26/07/2021 00:34

@EishetChayil

Oh for heaven's sake, just flog whatever the fuck it is and be done with it!
Grin
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