Hi all, hoping you wise Mumsnetters might be able to help me with coping strategies!
We’ve lived here for 15 years and always got on well with all our neighbours. Two years ago we built an extension and approached it with every consideration to our neighbours on both sides, inviting them to talk with us about any concerns or changes they might want etc. However the neighbours on one side (an older couple) simply stopped talking to us, fired off a formal objection to the council (their right, of course, but we always made clear we were happy to talk) and have refused to talk to or even look at us or our young children ever since. They were obstructive throughout the process, rude to and shouted at our surveyors and builders, and cost us an unnecessary several thousands of pounds in legal fees having to literally force their legal rights on them as they ignored the legal party wall correspondence (as per the legal process if people ignore it). In contrast, the neighbours on the other side were lovely, talked with us throughout so we could ensure they were happy, and signed the necessary paperwork protecting them without any fuss or cost.
The nastiness from the rude neighbours has been really horrible to live with. They used to take parcels in for us, instead they’ve signed for some and left them out in the rain. We still say hello when we see them as we don’t want to sink to their level but they act like no-one’s even there and completely ignore us. We’re now tense when they’re in their garden and tense when we have to go in and out of our own house in case we see them, it’s just horrible living with the hostility so close to our doorstep. It also upsets the kids as they ignore them too.
We got a dog last summer and if she ever barks in the garden (which isn’t very often at all) the neighbours just bang loudly on the fence which feels rude and intrusive (let alone sets the dog off!). The other day she barked for five seconds and they did it again really loudly so I texted saying sorry if she disturbed them but could they text rather than bang on the fence as that just unsettles her rather than having the desired effect. They replied saying they’ll do anything they can to stop her barking and denied they banged on the fence. I’m now fully expecting a letter being fired off to the council about the dog, even though I’d welcome the council installing noise monitoring as they’d see it’s a vexatious complaint.
Both my husband and I are feeling really upset, threatened and dragged down by it all. I’d love to tell them what I think of them but I know it won’t help and this is a lovely road and currently it’s very clear to our other neighbours how nasty these two are and we haven’t put a foot wrong. I don’t want it descending into ‘six of one and half a dozen of the other’. But I’m finding it really hard to handle this hostility from them right on our doorstep and my feelings about it!
Anyone have some sage advice on how to deal with it??