Men in lingerie shops

[Woolywolf]

I went to bravissimo yesterday with my 15 year old daughter. The fitting rooms are downstairs and there are some sofas where you wait for your fitting. There were 3 men sat on the sofas (husbands/partners waiting for their wives/girlfriends I think). One of them has 2 kids with him. So the women waiting to use the fitting rooms were standing in a queue next to these men.

This was the first time my daughter had been to a bra fitting at this store and I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable telling her size to the staff and holding a handful of bras in front of these men. I may have been being paranoid but I think I caught one of the men looking a bit too hard at what all the women in the queue were trying on, but otherwise they just seemed like normal/harmless dads.

But am I being unreasonable thinking it was a bit inappropriate for men/kids to be waiting outside lingerie changing rooms. If my husband had been there, he probably would have taken himself off to a different shop while we went to a bra shop as he obviously wouldn’t need to be there. If we had younger kids with us, I’d ask him to take them someplace more interesting instead of having them waiting/taking up seats in an underwear shop asking loud questions about bras as one of the kids was.

I know there’s no shame in shopping for bras/it shouldn’t be embarrassing it just seems a bit unnecessary for men to be there. I don’t know if I would have noticed/cared if my teen hadn’t been with me, who was already a bit nervous about having a bra fitting.

@feelingmehtoday

Also "follow a woman about the shops"? He doesn't "follow" me... we walk, y'know, together and stuff. Very strange use of terminology to describe what is a essentially a very normal activity.

So in every shop you go into he is looking for something for himself too? If he’s not in there for himself he’s following you about the shops. I take an equally dim view of women who go into men’s shops with them. Grow up people, make your own decisions!

But of course some women need the man to bring the credit card…

YANBU. They don't need to be there, and it's lazy parenting if they are there with children in tow.

@VodkaSlimline

YANBU, I can't bear men getting under my feet in women's clothes shops, let alone bra shops! So annoying.

Yeah the bastards should banned from “women’s” shops.

@HaveringWavering

But of course some women need the man to bring the credit card…

😂 unlikely when I earn more than he does

So in every shop you go into he is looking for something for himself too? If he’s not in there for himself he’s following you about the shops. I take an equally dim view of women who go into men’s shops with them. Grow up people, make your own decisions!

We do make our own decisions. That's why we go into shops together if we so choose to.

No, of course he is not "looking for something for himself" in every shop we go into. Nor am I looking for men's clothing for myself when we pop into a men's clothing shop, for example. But we do this thing that people often do in a relationship called spending time together, and asking and valuing each other's opinion on things we are buying. It doesn't make either of us "pathetic" just because you say so.

Your attitudes are truly bizarre to me.

@Etinox

• I’d say it’s a prerequisite of being a decent man actually. Having an awareness of their masculine presence and how that can be a threat to women. My lovely dad certainly does, and brought my dbs up to be aware and my ds too. Examples •not following a woman- ie crossing the road esp in the dark. •moving train carriage as it empties to avoid being alone with a woman, especially at night. •taking space, not man spreading or blocking an entrance. •not hanging around in underwear shops. It’s hardly rocket science*

^
I couldn't agree more, both my Father and DH are the same; and hopefully my teenage son will be too.

@HaveringWavering

But of course some women need the man to bring the credit card…

I am loving the goady comments from the usual man haters 😂

My father waits outside for my mother, he is her carer. I'm sure the ladies in Bravissimo are lovely and great bra fitters, I certainly wouldn't want them to administer emergency medications.

@feelingmehtoday

It's a bit like saying a shop that sells men's watches is only "for men". It's not - it sells men's products. As a woman I can still go in it, though, if I wish to purchase a men's watch.

Bravissimo is very much a shop for women. It’s not the kind of shop men would go to buy women lingerie as the focus is on being fitted for the perfect size bra which can’t happen if the woman isn’t there. They don’t even have all the sizes on the shelf-as soon as you walk in they ask you to pick some styles you like ignoring the size and then the whole point is they fit you. I’m sure some men go in to buy presents but the whole business plan is definitely aimed heavily at women.

The shop should arrange the sofas so they’re not in earshot of the cubicles, that’s a bit weird. I don’t think it’s wrong for men to sit on them though. I hope your daughter found some nice bras.

@feelingmehtoday

Also "follow a woman about the shops"? He doesn't "follow" me... we walk, y'know, together and stuff. Very strange use of terminology to describe what is a essentially a very normal activity.

Exactly. My partner enjoys shopping more than me. We will go arojnd the shops together finding what we need/want and helping each other decide on items if needed.

@pleasedonttextmyman

and you don't have to be a single father to take care of your kids!

Even a happily married man can take their daughter's shopping, even if they both would rather do something else, but it's not a MUM"S job to drive your daughter to a shop ffs.

I have known a lot of teenage girls in my life and I can’t imagine any who would want to go bra shopping with their dad. It would just be odd. Can anyone honestly say that their husband chooses to take their daughter bra shopping (I would guess that this only happens when the dad is a single parent and there is no female in the daughters life)

Omg, so we've now moved on from not having men sitting down in a shop to men shouldn't go into any clothing stores aimed at women? So when we both have a wander into town we should then split up so my husband doesn't get into the eyeline of any woman clothes shopping....lest he what, checks her out? Upsets her with his mere presence?
I can only assume a lot of posters on here are the weird ones, I see plenty of couples out shopping together and enjoying themselves. Never noticed a woman combust at the sight of my husband in Dorothy Perkins🤷‍♀️

but if we're just talking about a single/SAH dad picking up a new pack of pants for his daughter?

Wouldn't he/she just get it online - she isn't trying them on for fit.

Loads of people still use actual shops, for all kinds of things. Why would this be any different?

Not everybody is online, anyway - it could also be an elderly man buying for his disabled/dementia-sufferer wife who's never been online in his life; devoted husband is there looking carefully trying to find the right items in the right size that she's given him details for and, to some people, he's obviously just a filthy old perv who should be banished and his wife simply has to go without adequate underwear or make do with whatever her 'perv' husband can find at the market stall.

Well aren't you lucky you and your friends haven't been in the situation where there is no mother or female figure to step in and help. Most young teenage girls would not want to just be abandoned onto a member of staff for half an hour.

Let's hope your daughters father never finds himself at the mercy of judgy twats whilst trying his best to support his daughter eh?

I remember my dad taking me bra shopping. As I said earlier in the thread I think we are doing a massive disservice to fathers if we put them in an automatic position of not being able to deal with things like this, and that’s without consideration for those where the father is the main/adult parent in the life

@JustGiveMeGin

Omg, so we've now moved on from not having men sitting down in a shop to men shouldn't go into any clothing stores aimed at women? So when we both have a wander into town we should then split up so my husband doesn't get into the eyeline of any woman clothes shopping....lest he what, checks her out? Upsets her with his mere presence? I can only assume a lot of posters on here are the weird ones, I see plenty of couples out shopping together and enjoying themselves. Never noticed a woman combust at the sight of my husband in Dorothy Perkins🤷‍♀️

😂 all very odd, isn't it. Never noticed a woman combust at the sight of my OH in New Look either, funnily enough.

www.privateislandsonline.com/europe/greece/dulichium-island

Here ya go. Can build own penisless utopia 😁

@Sirzy

I remember my dad taking me bra shopping. As I said earlier in the thread I think we are doing a massive disservice to fathers if we put them in an automatic position of not being able to deal with things like this, and that’s without consideration for those where the father is the main/adult parent in the life

I agree. It gets continually said on here (on other threads) what "useless" fathers a lot of men are. And it seems if they chose to step up and take their daughters shopping, they'd also be in the wrong for daring to step foot in a "women's" shop. Pretty much can't win, can they...?

@JustGiveMeGin

Omg, so we've now moved on from not having men sitting down in a shop to men shouldn't go into any clothing stores aimed at women? So when we both have a wander into town we should then split up so my husband doesn't get into the eyeline of any woman clothes shopping....lest he what, checks her out? Upsets her with his mere presence? I can only assume a lot of posters on here are the weird ones, I see plenty of couples out shopping together and enjoying themselves. Never noticed a woman combust at the sight of my husband in Dorothy Perkins🤷‍♀️

Awwww I miss DP shops!

I also can’t imagine having much respect for a man who would want to trail round the shops after me.

Do you lack respect for men who do any activities together with their wives, or is it just specifically going in shops and purchasing goods? Do you feel the same about women who go along with their husbands to the men's clothes shops? Sounds bizarre to me.

Going by some of the posts on here, you'd think that almost all shops are de facto 'women's areas' and that men who go in shops are weird/pervs/lacking in some way - and yet, come Christmas, there will be the usual threads bewailing the rubbish/thoughtless/non-existent presents that useless husbands have bought for their wives and everybody else.

I have known a lot of teenage girls in my life and I can’t imagine any who would want to go bra shopping with their dad. It would just be odd.
Can anyone honestly say that their husband chooses to take their daughter bra shopping (I would guess that this only happens when the dad is a single parent and there is no female in the daughters life)

Oh please

stop being so goady.

Sometimes mum works. Sometimes mum's travelling. Sometimes mum is sick, or taking care of a child, or a million of reasons.

Being a parent means you do things when they need to get done. Not because it's always your idea of a good time. Kids need underwear, available go and get underwear.

As the thread is about men waiting OUTSIDE the changing area, WTF is wrong with a dad waiting for their kid?

Nah, a father taking their daughter bra shopping has a purpose, he's not drooping around after some woman looking a wee bit lost and furtive, my dh wouldn't want to follow me around the bra section

It seems that for some posters, underwear shopping is the highlight of the month and a carefully selected treat day.

For the rest of us, it's just a chore that needs to get done, and no one makes a big deal out of it. No one has vapours because a MAN is seen in a lingerie store.

How do you manage to buy sports swimwear when the changing rooms in most sports shops are unisex and in the middle of the shop?