Men in lingerie shops

[Woolywolf]

I went to bravissimo yesterday with my 15 year old daughter. The fitting rooms are downstairs and there are some sofas where you wait for your fitting. There were 3 men sat on the sofas (husbands/partners waiting for their wives/girlfriends I think). One of them has 2 kids with him. So the women waiting to use the fitting rooms were standing in a queue next to these men.

This was the first time my daughter had been to a bra fitting at this store and I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable telling her size to the staff and holding a handful of bras in front of these men. I may have been being paranoid but I think I caught one of the men looking a bit too hard at what all the women in the queue were trying on, but otherwise they just seemed like normal/harmless dads.

But am I being unreasonable thinking it was a bit inappropriate for men/kids to be waiting outside lingerie changing rooms. If my husband had been there, he probably would have taken himself off to a different shop while we went to a bra shop as he obviously wouldn’t need to be there. If we had younger kids with us, I’d ask him to take them someplace more interesting instead of having them waiting/taking up seats in an underwear shop asking loud questions about bras as one of the kids was.

I know there’s no shame in shopping for bras/it shouldn’t be embarrassing it just seems a bit unnecessary for men to be there. I don’t know if I would have noticed/cared if my teen hadn’t been with me, who was already a bit nervous about having a bra fitting.

Nothing shameful about buying bras I just don't want some pervy bloke near me when I do, just leave your men at home

Just a bit dramatic

YANBU, I can't bear men getting under my feet in women's clothes shops, let alone bra shops! So annoying.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

pleasedonttextmyman and others there is so much that is utterly disingenuous on this thread. Of course the area separated just by a curtain from women and girls trying on and being fitted for bras in a shop which only sells women's underwear is a women's space - its not just "a shop" it's a specific type of shop.

Teenaged girls don't need their dad to be with them in an underwear changing room. They need a bit of privacy.

Preferring privacy when trying on underwear does not equate to being ashamed of buying bras, otherwise we'd be advocating everyone stripping off in the middle of the shop and do away with changing rooms altogether seeing as customers will be seen at the tills with whatever they are buying anyway.

We all agree, no one needs to be IN the underwear changing room but the ONE person trying on clothes.

You are the one utterly disingenuous.

We are talking - and I'd advise you to read the OP again - of people OUTSIDE the changing rooms!

You might see on that sofa to perv at customers, it's very weird, but most people aren't. . You can't actually see anything that's in the changing rooms...

@pleasedonttextmyman

I agree. Very strange attitudes on this thread

@Macncheeseballs

Nothing shameful about buying bras I just don't want some pervy bloke near me when I do, just leave your men at home

Well, the men are nowhere near you when you're trying on your bra... Even if they're plonked on a comfy sofa, they are still nowhere near you.

I think a lot of people on this thread are not Bravissimo girls. When you're top-heavy (especially if you have a large cup size and a tiny back size due to being top-heavy but still slim), all you want is a bra that fits. You have an appointment with a fitter, you tell them which styles you like, which bras are currently working for you, and the fitter brings you styles to try on that they think will work for your size/shape boobs and that match your wish list as closely as possible.

Plenty of women want a specific bra, only to be gently told it won't work for their shape boobs and to find out by trying it on that the fitter was in fact correct. You leave a lot of the choice to the fitter's discretion - they won't recommend a bra that looks pretty on the hanger but just won't support you in the way you need. Mainly because if the fitter tells you to buy an expensive bra and when you take it home and wear it, it turns out to be shit, they will refund you. They have to be confident in their suggestions.

Bra shopping is very different to clothes shopping.

Bravissimo is a very specific type of shop. Most of the 'shopping' actually goes on in the changing rooms, not on the floor.

or is secretly perving/thinking about women in bras.

Men can perve/think about women in bras without being in a lingerie store. Will you stop her being anywhere a man might do this? Because that means she is only going to be in her home.

@Macncheeseballs

Nothing shameful about buying bras I just don't want some pervy bloke near me when I do, just leave your men at home

Yes ladies just "leave your men at home". I mean, It's not as though they have minds of their own and might actually choose or want to come shopping with you.

Incidentally... not to derail this thread, but are there any Bravissimo girls with clothing recommendations, now that Bravissimo are axing their Pepperberry range?

That's ypur photo pleasedonttextmyman not the OP's. The description in the post is of sofas right by the queue for the changing room and very close to the changing room curtains so that any conversation between fitter and customer can be heard.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

That's ypur photo pleasedonttextmyman not the OP's. The description in the post is of sofas right by the queue for the changing room and very close to the changing room curtains so that any conversation between fitter and customer can be heard.

Neither you or I were with the OP, so neither you or I can know if that photo was taken in the OP's shop anyway

(apart from the small detail that's it's clearly not a lingerie section 😂 )

Feeling - do men honestly want to accompany their partners underwear shopping? Very odd

Aspade- I shop in bravissimo, no I don't want men in there in an ideal world

you wtf’ed my comment about moving train carriages. A thoughtful man would be aware that many women would certainly notice of, if not be afraid to be alone with a man at night.

Yeah it wouldn't occur to me that the best thing for a lone woman's safety was to leave her alone on a South London stopper service

@Macncheeseballs

Feeling - do men honestly want to accompany their partners underwear shopping? Very odd

Not specifically underwear shopping, no. But he might want to accompany on a normal shopping trip where the intention is to go in a number for shops, for example. Or maybe an ad hoc "let's pop in here" type discussion whilst out and about. Many women appear to think the discussion goes something like "please come bra shopping with me dear, I couldn't possibly buy a bra without your input". It doesn't; couples are just often shopping together when a woman decides to pop into a particular shop, be that a bra shop or otherwise.

@aspadeaspade when are they axing it? Still for sale on their website.

I can’t imagine taking my husband with me when I went to buy a bra. Why would anyone do that? (Unless disabled, before anyone says that). I also can’t imagine having much respect for a man who would want to trail round the shops after me.

You aren't unreasonable not to like the men being there. Your daughtere wasnt unreasonable to feel uncomfortable. People who would be fine with it also are not unreasonable. The men weren't unreasonable to be there if the shop allowed it. Were the shop unreasonable to allow it? Depends how you see it. It's just one of those things where people have different views, all are valid.

@feelingmehtoday. In that rare circumstance I’d go in there and DH would wander off to Superdry or something. No way would he just sit around outside a changing room like a limp lettuce.

[quote shouldistop]@aspadeaspade when are they axing it? Still for sale on their website. [/quote]
By the end of the year. They'll still sell swimsuits, bikinis and I think nightwear, but the actual clothing range will stop.

Wasn't profitable enough, basically.

@HaveringWavering

That's great for you. Others do things differently when shopping with their partners, hence why there are sitting areas for people to sit and wait for you. It would never occur to me to send my partner to a different shop in case he made someone feel uncomfortable. It's not as though he's popping his head over the top of the changing room curtains ffs.

And why does sitting in a waiting area equal "limp lettuce", exactly? So when I go shopping with my teen DD and she's trying millions of outfits on and I'm sitting waiting, am I also a "limp lettuce"? What an odd phrase.

[quote feelingmehtoday]@HaveringWavering

That's great for you. Others do things differently when shopping with their partners, hence why there are sitting areas for people to sit and wait for you. It would never occur to me to send my partner to a different shop in case he made someone feel uncomfortable. It's not as though he's popping his head over the top of the changing room curtains ffs. [/quote]
Nothing to do with sending him off in case he made someone feel uncomfortable. Everything to do with him being a grown man who must have better things to do with his day than follow a woman about the shops and sit outside a changing room- that’s pretty pathetic really and a completely different scenario to a mother shopping with her teen daughter.

@HaveringWavering

A couple choosing to go shopping together is "pathetic". Your attitudes are truly bizarre.

Also "follow a woman about the shops"? He doesn't "follow" me... we walk, y'know, together and stuff. Very strange use of terminology to describe what is a essentially a very normal activity.