To wonder why MN is so unpleasant about SAHMs?

[crinklyfoil]

While I know there are cases when women aren’t married and don’t own property and are in a vulnerable position, I’m not talking about posters who are concerned about women.

I’m talking about posters who believe that SAHMs have no say in finances, should ‘get a job’ and are somehow lazy.

A FT childcare place costs around £800 a month. If you have more than one child, realistically for many women, ‘getting a job’ will mean working at a loss. Not to mention problems with shift work at the lower paid end of the spectrum (retail work and care work.)

Is it really so awful that having a SAHM might just work really well for some families? That some women might thoroughly enjoy it and that it’s part of a mutually beneficial relationship in the context of the whole family?

Or should everyone just get a job, regardless of how miserable and poor it makes the whole family?!

@cosima8

There is the hilarious poster with a very distinct writing style who comes in and tells SAHMs that they have “no voice in society” because they do not pay tax. Once she said SAHMs should not have the vote! She also told me once that I must have nothing interesting to talk about ever. Why? Because I am not “up to date with developments in health and safety in the workplace.” I mean, what can you say to that,

There is another poster who is literally incandescent about SAHMs in any shape or form. This one is a loon though, she has totally separate finances to her husband - to the point to that he has his fridge and cupboard for food and she has hers . She buys all her own food and him his and they cook separately. When they go out for dinner, they calculate exactly what they’ve eaten, calculate the cost of their kid’s food and divide that and then pay exactly half the tip each to the penny. She was telling SAHMs they were the weird ones.

Various posters have asked me how I feel about living like a prostitute, but one in particular kindly explained that what I don’t realise is, I am actually a prostitute “in the eyes of my husband.” Apparently he must only be with me for the sex because I don’t give him any money. She also informed me everyone in society secretly thinks this, they’re just too scared to say it to my face. She also said that my husband should give me weekly appraisals (on Friday evenings) so I could check if he was happy with the quality of my housework and cooking. She said this is normal when “women live off men.”

Honestly, it’s all on MN!

The whole prostitute thing makes no sense. Because then they would think a relationship is one a relationship if the woman is giving the man money?

I think, I have seen the first one. Not on sahm threads though. But very similar type of think. Telling people they needed to get back to the office so they could have something to talk about and keep up with office politics and nuances.

I work in health and safety. I have never had a converstation, outside work about it in my life. Why would you?

Telling people they needed to get back to the office so they could have something to talk about and keep up with office politics and nuances

Yes, I remember that. One poster said that she didn't bother remaining friends with sahms because they don't have anything to talk about.

I'd put my head in a blender if all me and my friends talked about was work.

I wonder if it's the poster who seems to hate remote working & all our jobs will be outsourced?

Some people just want to chat shit.

@FourTeaFallOut

And I have never used the words "well jel" in my life but usually when someone has an axe to grind about another person it is motivated by envy.

No, I know you didn't say "wel jel". I used the phrase as a rhetorical device. I was disparaging the idea by using language to show it up as risible and simplistic, because it is.

Why am I not surprised that I had to explain this to someone who is offended by the point that giving up work is likely to make you vulnerable? And who throws ridiculous nonsense accusations with no actual substance, yet thinks it's everyone else who has an axe to grind?

You cannot have an intelligent conversation with someone who won't accept that any point other than "ur wel jel" (see, now you can get it!) has any validity, and who won't see that the only axe around here is the one on her own shoulder, right next to the enormous chip.

There are some crazy posts on here. My favourites were milk & bread are not essentials & young people who live at home shouldn't take jobs from older people as they need them more 🤔🤣

Oh God are you still going? I must have told you three times now that I work.

Ah, now I see your issue with it @Mummyford. Thank you for explaining, I didn’t realise you weren’t reliant and it’s simply the fact that people are assuming you are. To be fair you did say that in the last post too, my apols.

I feel invested in both sides since maternity leave is very much like being the sahp and I’ll be doing 2 in 2 years. I’m not surprised it backs that point il because I think that was one of my first comments on the thread when I got sucked in.

Yes it’s more than that but I was trying to liken the comment to something i had read that was similar to my choices on the thread.

@imamule

On and on it goes, pulling each other down.

I do get tired of this. I choose to work despite not needing to & I recognise that I'm lucky to have flexibility & autonomy in my job which fits my family. I'm not less of a mother because I chose that option despite not needing too & I'm not jealous of others who make different choices.

The not jealous thing - I think that might have something to do with you having a choice - you know - like not needing to work...it being something you want to do - you do know that not everyone enjoys their work? You might need to become a little bit more self aware because you come across like not having a clue. If we all had genuine choices life would be very different for many.

@imamule

I wonder if it's the poster who seems to hate remote working & all our jobs will be outsourced?

Some people just want to chat shit.

That's the one!

Also thinks wfh breaks gdpr

@FourTeaFallOut

Telling people they needed to get back to the office so they could have something to talk about and keep up with office politics and nuances

Yes, I remember that. One poster said that she didn't bother remaining friends with sahms because they don't have anything to talk about.

I'd put my head in a blender if all me and my friends talked about was work.

Who has friends who only do the same type of job?

I prefer not to talk about my job, even when I am actually at my job. Never mind when I am not at work

@pinkfanman how have you leaped to that conclusion? Of course I know some people can't work because childcare is too expensive or can't not work because life is too expensive. Why does saying Im not jealous of SAHMs some how mean I'm not self aware? My choice is as valid as the next persons.

@FourTeaFallOut

Telling people they needed to get back to the office so they could have something to talk about and keep up with office politics and nuances

Yes, I remember that. One poster said that she didn't bother remaining friends with sahms because they don't have anything to talk about.

I'd put my head in a blender if all me and my friends talked about was work.

Ever been out for an evening with a work bore - seriously not often thankfully but occasionally it has happened and it's not pleasant! We avoid like rthe plague!

Also thinks wfh breaks gdpr

I spent ages explaining I logged on to a secure server & don't have paperwork but I was still a security risk 😆

who won't see that the only axe around here is the one on her own shoulder, right next to the enormous chip. @DrSbaitso

Whilst this post was in response to a different poster I'm still pretty certain it's you who has the axe to grind.

I'm going to ask for a third time now. Why are you so invested in these threads? I've seen your name time and time again.

Some posters you can tell by the odd comment is relates to their own childhood. Not got any sense from you why you are so invested...other than you aren't "wel jell" of course 😂

@FourTeaFallOut

Oh God are you still going? I must have told you three times now that I work.

Makes no difference to the hypocrisy and total lack of substance to everything you're saying.

@FourTeaFallOut

I'd go back to my earlier point which is why the hell are they so worried about this when there is a plethora of things to concern yourself about. This topic comes up regularly and uniform to all - diatribes around wohm and sahps - is that the words concern and distain are practical interchangeable.

It might not be envy, I've floated a superiority complex as another option. Anger at 'letting the side down' is in the mix too.

Men don't do this shit to each other, not on this scale.

Are you the thought police? Do you get this worked up about people having an opinion in real life too? It’s very irrational and weirdly strange.

@imamule

Also thinks wfh breaks gdpr

I spent ages explaining I logged on to a secure server & don't have paperwork but I was still a security risk 😆

Yep has to be the same one.

Couldnt be convinced that some people had been working from home for years before.

I think that poster hates everyone 😁

@pinkfanman Also how does choosing to work despite not financially needing to make me less self aware than a SAHM who choses not to work because they don't financially need to?

I don't think everyone is motivated by jealousy. Whilst most are, I think some are just arrogant, rude fuckers roaming around for an opportunity to feel superior by any means necessary.

@cosima8

There is the hilarious poster with a very distinct writing style who comes in and tells SAHMs that they have “no voice in society” because they do not pay tax. Once she said SAHMs should not have the vote! She also told me once that I must have nothing interesting to talk about ever. Why? Because I am not “up to date with developments in health and safety in the workplace.” I mean, what can you say to that,

There is another poster who is literally incandescent about SAHMs in any shape or form. This one is a loon though, she has totally separate finances to her husband - to the point to that he has his fridge and cupboard for food and she has hers . She buys all her own food and him his and they cook separately. When they go out for dinner, they calculate exactly what they’ve eaten, calculate the cost of their kid’s food and divide that and then pay exactly half the tip each to the penny. She was telling SAHMs they were the weird ones.

Various posters have asked me how I feel about living like a prostitute, but one in particular kindly explained that what I don’t realise is, I am actually a prostitute “in the eyes of my husband.” Apparently he must only be with me for the sex because I don’t give him any money. She also informed me everyone in society secretly thinks this, they’re just too scared to say it to my face. She also said that my husband should give me weekly appraisals (on Friday evenings) so I could check if he was happy with the quality of my housework and cooking. She said this is normal when “women live off men.”

Honestly, it’s all on MN!

Conclusion - You spend way too much time on MN.

Couldnt be convinced that some people had been working from home for years before.

Yep! I was like Ive always had remote working same as loads of people I know. Nope my job would be offshored next week. 😆

I don't think everyone is motivated by jealousy. Whilst most are,

Do you mean on this thread or just in general?

[quote imamule]@pinkfanman Also how does choosing to work despite not financially needing to make me less self aware than a SAHM who choses not to work because they don't financially need to? [/quote]
Having a choice makes all the difference to all of us. Sorry should have explained that for you.

I'm not disagreeing with that but that's not answering my question?

Just the people who go out of their way to be particularly unpleasant to sahms. Drawing comparisons to prostitution, insisting that their children see them as feckless sub-humans, people who drop them as friends and then write it down as ammunition on sahm threads. Something is driving that kind of behaviour and it's nothing good.