New man sees spirits and it freaks me out. AIBU?

[iseedeadpeoplehelp]

New guy, very sweet and kind, good job, interesting and sincere.
But he tells me he sees spirits and if he stays in an old house/building they can keep him awake. I don't like anything woo and it's making me uncomfortable. Thoughts?

For me personally, I couldn't live with this as I don't believe in it, so it would be a nonstarter.

Do you believe in this?

Frankly I'd think he was just off his head and attention-seeking.

No not at all! But he seems so 'normal' apart from this. Just can't get my head around it!

Yeah it'd be a deal breaker for me.

That would be the end of a relationship for me. He is either delusional or a liar. Either way, no thanks!

Such a shame, things were going so well until he told me this. Doesn't come across as attention seeking either.

interesting and sincere
Read "attention seeking and a liar"

I think you’re either into this stuff or you’re not, there’s really no compromise position. Personally I am emphatically not, and finding out that my partner was would change my view of them to the extent that I couldn’t continue the relationship.

Quite surprised that the comments are so negative. I'm not at all woo myself, but it wouldn't bother me too much in a partner. As long as you both respect each other's views and have other things in common, this wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

My issue is that I do not believe those things exist or that someone could see them, so he would just be telling lies as far as I'm concerned. And lying is not an attractive trait in a potential partner. It's one thing believing in stuff, but another claiming you see things that do not exist (in my belief).

Why only old houses/buildings? Surely if spirits are a thing, and he sees them, they don’t just hang out in old places sees and he sees them everywhere?!

I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop taking the piss

We have had old threads where perfectly normal people have felt or heard things in old buildings known for haunting. Could he mean that with bit of embellishment? I mean how often do you actually accidentally book to stay in ye old country house with maid who got murdered in the attic

But if he thinks thinks makes him “interesting” and endless goes on when it upsets you then dump!

Not only in old buildings but says that it's more likely to happen in a very old building. TBH no nights away, I have a healthy regard for things I don't understand and if he 'saw' something I would shit my pants!!

Um...I'd be concerned about his mental stability tbh. Untreated hallucinations would be a dealbreaker.

Also I'd be worried that any time we went anywhere he would turn into Derek Acorah.

Must say I have Goggled the connection with mental health, he has said too that he has high functioning anxiety 🧐

I would absolutely love this!

I think it's a shame to ridicule people who think they have "paranormal" experiences, because I genuinely believe we could learn about the brain.

Obviously some are attention seeking bullshitters, some are genuine misinterpretations of perfectly normal things, but some really are seeing/experiencing something. The questions are what and why.

Spirits, dead people? Of course not.

So what is it?

He is either a liar, attention seeker, fantasist or has hallucinations.

I'd walk away.

@StepladderToHeaven

Quite surprised that the comments are so negative. I'm not at all woo myself, but it wouldn't bother me too much in a partner. As long as you both respect each other's views and have other things in common, this wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

My problem would be that I really couldn't respect someone who genuinely believed this nonsense, so I would never meet the first part of your conditions, @StepladderToHeaven

According to the NHS:

Hallucinations are where someone sees, hears, smells, tastes or feels things that don't exist outside their mind.

They're common in people with schizophrenia, and are usually experienced as hearing voices.

Hallucinations can be frightening, but there's usually an identifiable cause. For example, they can occur as a result of:

<strong>taking illegal drugs or alcohol</strong>
<strong>a mental illness, such as schizophrenia</strong>
<strong>a progressive neurological condition, such as Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease</strong>
<strong>loss of vision caused by a condition such as macular degeneration – this is known as Charles Bonnet syndrome</strong>

So the question you need to answer is whether you are prepared to put up with/support someone who may have one of these conditions?

I’d assume he was bonkers or attention seeking. I don’t believe in ghosts or spirit.

I’d try to discuss this rationally with him . If he insists on maintaining this stance, h e’s either trying to be ‘interesting’ and ‘sensitive’ or has a mental health problem . Walk away or get him to get help with his delusions.

I think it would be a dealbreaker. I would worry it’s a sign of extrem mental illness

Given that synesthesia exists, why dismiss someone perceiving things differently from other people? Some people do experience things that most people don't. They then have to come up with an explanation for it.

There was a bloke researching whether it was due to unusual sensitivity to subsonic sound.

There's really no need to be sneery.

Dealbreaker for me too I’m afraid. He’s telling you now he’s going to ruin every holiday/national trust day out from now to the end of time. No thanks.