New man sees spirits and it freaks me out. AIBU?

[iseedeadpeoplehelp]

New guy, very sweet and kind, good job, interesting and sincere.
But he tells me he sees spirits and if he stays in an old house/building they can keep him awake. I don't like anything woo and it's making me uncomfortable. Thoughts?

I would love this. I am a bit ’ woo’ as they say on mn. I do believe in life after death but haven’t any proof personally ( my cousin has had experiences though and she is NOT an attention seeking fibber). I would see how it goes op. Good luck. x

New man is a liar and you should dump him ASAP.

I experienced a few instances of unexplained paranormal things as a child in my childhood home. I wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating. I sometimes get an overwhelming sense of dread in old buildings. Ghosts terrify me so I actively try to avoid the paranormal.

I think he’s hallucinating if he sees spirits often. How does he describe them? Some people sense things, but don’t see spirits regularly.

Many people who are very seriously mentally ill sound normal as long as you don't talk about certain subjects with them.

I would love this

I'm not sure why? The indications are there; he suffers with anxiety, he can't sleep sometimes because "spirits" keep him awake, he has rituals such as obsessively checking locks, he has a high pressured job. I don't think it would be helpful to encourage his paranoia about dead people visiting him or feed into his anxiety.

He probably isn't saying these things to get attention, it's far more likely he sometimes can't separate fantasy from reality. A clue is his irrational rituals around checking locks and so on.

It's far more open minded to consider other likely reasons for his "visions" than putting it down to the paranormal.

I think it would largely depend on the level of fanaticism. For example, I went on a first date with a guy once and he started going on about aliens. I don't claim to be an expert, but I'm open to the idea of aliens existing in some form. However, the fact that he started going on about them on a first date (and how he'd claimed to have seen them) suggested to me that this was an obsession and put me right off! I don't necessarily think the OP's fella is seriously mentally ill, a liar or attention seeker. He could be, it could also just be a personal belief that has little impact on anyone else, something we all have no matter how rational we may think we are. That's what you'll have to weigh up, but ultimately you don't need to justify stopping fancying him if it's a turn off.

Leave him he's crazy

Attention-seeking. This is like teen girls who claim their eyes change colour when they're angry, or boys who insist their dad is a famous footballer. Childish and no one likes you.

If he'll lie about this to 'seem interesting', he'll likely lie about lots of things. It's also very immature to still be doing this as an adult.

I mean for me not a deal breaker as I’m interested in spirit and hsve seen spirits however if ifs really not your thing and it’s uncomfortable to you then it’s probably wise that it doesn’t go any further.
In the same way if I met someone I liked who was deeply religious and churchy that would be a deal breaker.
I think it’s five to say it’s not for you and move on

He sounds like possibly an interesting person to date a few times and see how it goes .
You don't have to commit to him

Take him to a spiritualist church. Ask him to stay quiet. If he's genuine, the people there will spot it

At best he’s a liar. At worst he’s a fantasist with potentially dangerous mental health issues. It would be a deal breaker for me.

Keep an open mind,see how it goes?

I'm pretty into woo stuff, and even I would worry he's having hallucinations, or fibbing for some reason, if he's adamant he regularly sees spirits. Feeling weird feelings, liking old creep places and being freaked out, ghost hunting or whatever wouldn't bother me, but the either seeing things or lying would.

It makes you uncomfortable, that's the issue. Suggest it may be enough to end the relationship.

Deal breaker for me

Yes of course I believe it, be strange not to imo, but I wouldn't like it.

I would also have to assume he was either lying or delusional. I couldn't continue the relationship.

Although I'm in along term relationship with someone who goes to church, whilst I don't believe. I just respect his beliefs - I suppose that's very similar.

I'd worry he had mental health problems tbh

Or it could just be night terrors tbh

I'd be asking him for details as it could well be night terrors. These are absolutely real to sufferers and are the best explanation for people seeing things etc.
There's a massive difference between something like this and people who believe they can talk to the dead....

Is he anxious because he sees spirits, or he sees spirits because he's anxious?

I can't help thinking of the Peep Show episode where Mark meets the no nonsense business woman Cally when she's hired as Jeremy's agent.

Things are going great until she reveals her awe for crystal skulls and their spiritual healing powers. Mark thinks it's all rubbish, they're just made from glass in a factory, in fact he's baffled when he realises she's not winding him up.

However he goes along with it because he really wants a shag.

People I do not want to be friends with (let alone anything else) include but are not limited to;

Life coaches teaching positive mindsets, abundance, the Law of Attraction etc.
Crystal skull mongers
MLM hunbots
Ancient aliens enthusiasts
Body psycotherapists
Hypnotherapists
Astrologers
LGAT fanatics
positive thinkers / new thought movement afficiandos (including thought leaders, positive psychology mongers, Hay House authors and associated "humanitarians")
Dowsers
Theosophists
Anthroposophists
Anti-vaxxers
Yoni / lingam massagers
Tantric / Kundalini yoga cultists
Quacks, charlatans and mountbanks
Appreciators of Gwyneth Paltrow, Oprah Winfrey, "shaman" (lol) Durek et al
Flat earthers
Freeman on the Land / Soveregin Citizens and assorted loons

I find science amazing and inspiring.

I have found many self proclaimed religious / spiritual people to be hypocritical, selfish and greedy however for me the important thing is how a person conducts themselves than what they believe in.

People can believe in the most bizarre things and it could still be their friend. I struggle though when people are either exploiters or vulnerable and exploited but too drunk on kool aid to be able to understand their situation.