New man sees spirits and it freaks me out. AIBU?

[iseedeadpeoplehelp]

New guy, very sweet and kind, good job, interesting and sincere.
But he tells me he sees spirits and if he stays in an old house/building they can keep him awake. I don't like anything woo and it's making me uncomfortable. Thoughts?

I used to know someone very non-woo, who told me her 12yo daughter kept seeing spirits in their (very old) house. The daughter could describe them in great detail but didn't like the fact she saw them.

Some people have different levels of awareness and sensitivity.

Is he ok with it, or does it make him feel uncomfortable?

Not a deal breaker for me. I'd keep an open mind and see how it goes.
Not a particular believer but won't rule it out. I'm interested, nonetheless, and would probably find your date quite entertaining.

If you feel this makes you incompatible and scares you then...

My other half sees things regularly, they're a result of his OCD & other mental health issues. They're actually extremely distressing for him.

That's interesting WillowUfgood as Op's boyfriend has traits of OCD, like his rituals with checking locks and doors.

It's possible that just the fact that he's away from home or the security of his routine (e.g. staying in a hotel) heightens his anxiety. Perhaps he feels its more socially acceptable to convince himself that he is "spiritual" and some places are haunted. It certainly sounds distressing for him if it stops him sleeping.

I wouldn’t be able to respect anyone who genuinely believes these things let alone go out with them

‘ Some people have different levels of awareness and sensitivity’

Nope. No evidence for the supernatural.

@StepladderToHeaven

Quite surprised that the comments are so negative. I'm not at all woo myself, but it wouldn't bother me too much in a partner. As long as you both respect each other's views and have other things in common, this wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

It wouldn't bother you that a new partner was either seriously mentally ill or a bizarre liar? You need higher standards.

OP, run. Fast.

Some people have different levels of awareness and sensitivity.

No. Some people have different levels of imagination and suggestibility.

Wow a thread full of sneering posters absolutely positive that they know for sure there are no such things as ghosts or spiritis

If they existed there would be good, solid evidence by now. People have been looking for it for centuries.

@Terhou

Wow a thread full of sneering posters absolutely positive that they know for sure there are no such things as ghosts or spiritis

If they existed there would be good, solid evidence by now. People have been looking for it for centuries.

Indeed Funny how you get ghosts in the dark, at night, when you're alone, when 'they' wake you up and you're sure you saw something. It's never half twelve in the afternoon outside Lidl. 🤣

Well i grew up with parents who'd seen spirits so it wouldn't massively bother me, id just be mindful of where we stayed

Some people have different levels of awareness and sensitivity.

And those people are very often children, as in your example, or people of any age with poor critical thinking skills, and/or with a cognitive bias in favour of a belief in the supernatural, and/or people falling asleep or dozing, or suddenly awake in the dark, and/or unnerved by being in a new place, a remote place, and/or a place they have been told is haunted. Or who place far too much credibility in a toddler talking about imaginary people, or a pet behaving oddly. Or something mildly puzzling happens and after they are told later on about some supernatural occurrence, they retrofit what happens to a 'haunted' rationale.

Look at the famous Savernake forest story on Mn.

It's a perfectly competent piece of writing (though I do think the demonic voice telling the OP not to say the name of Jesus is too much in conjunction with the 'good' voice telling the OP to go back, and the 'saviour' dog tugging her back through the woods, not to mention the noises from the hen house and the black 'thing' that ran out of the house that the OP thought was the puppy but wasn't), but an alarming number of people on here appear to think it must be true purely because it's been shared so often. It's no more likely to be true than any other post on a board where anonymity means anyone can write anything.

@iseedeadpeoplehelp

Yes it does frighten me, because I have an open mind about these things. Just because there isn't an explanation doesn't make it untrue as such. For me he may be telling his truth but I tend to think a bit rationally but without dismissing it completely.

There is an explanation. The explanation is that it’s all in his head. Dead people are dead. They don’t float around old buildings shitting people up.

@Terhou

Wow a thread full of sneering posters absolutely positive that they know for sure there are no such things as ghosts or spiritis

If they existed there would be good, solid evidence by now. People have been looking for it for centuries.

I know there is no such things as ghosts and I have seen ghosts. I still don’t believe in them though.

Why in this day and age when everyone has a camera in their pocket at all times do we not have 100s of films and photographs of them.

You're entitled to believe what you want @Qwerty789

@SleepingStandingUp

You're entitled to believe what you want *@Qwerty789*

How arrogant to tell you you didn't.

How arrogant to tell you you didn't.

No, it was simply the truth. No-one has seen spirits because, if they exist, they have never appeared in a visible or indeed audible or tactile form.

@iseedeadpeoplehelp

Yes it does frighten me, because I have an open mind about these things. Just because there isn't an explanation doesn't make it untrue as such. For me he may be telling his truth but I tend to think a bit rationally but without dismissing it completely.

I would be the same, OP. I don't watch horror films and avoid the woo threads on MN.

I say dump him.

@Terhou

How arrogant to tell you you didn't.

No, it was simply the truth. No-one has seen spirits because, if they exist, they have never appeared in a visible or indeed audible or tactile form.

No it isn't the truth. Some people believe, some don't. Just because you don't believe doesn't give you the right to say it doesn't exist. Thats your opinion, not fact.

Yes he is either delusional or a liar I’m afraid. Either way it’s not a good situation to get yourself into.

@Starjammer

Also I'd be worried that any time we went anywhere he would turn into Derek Acorah.

"Fanny loves Dick"..

Im laughing at the fact that you all would discount him yet im pretty sure some of you believe in god and go to church.......yet there is no proof god exist

I think people who believe in God are more likely to believe in spirits because of the whole life after death thing, not those that think when you're dead you're worm food.

It bodes well that it's taken him a while to mention it to you. I used to see ghosts frequently and no, I'm not mental, on drugs etc. I can completely understand not believing if you haven't seen it yourself though.

I'd suggest going away for a night or visiting somewhere old. If he suddenly 'sees' something on your first trip, he may well be attention seeking. If so, try somewhere else and if it happens again, he's either a bullshitter/attention seeker or he's strongly psychic (unlikely).
Also, does he always 'see' ghosts, or is it that he can hear voices, see orbs etc. I think it would be unusual for someone to be constantly bothered by spirits.

The fact I sometimes see/hear spirits doesn't bother my partner and it's rarely brought up. I've never seen anything in the time we've been together anyway.