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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not fucking nachos!!!!

194 replies

PeapodBurgundy · 24/07/2021 21:27

In brief, I ordered a side of nachos to go with my dinner. I'm bitterly disappointed. Before I share what arrived, what would the world of Mumsnet expect to receive? (Pretty sure IANBU to say that these are NOT nachos!!!!)

OP posts:
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5
GromblesofGrimbledon · 26/07/2021 10:42

I love nachos but never order them when I'm out. They are always a disappointment.

I only make them at home where they have the following toppings:

  • a homemade slow cooked chilli
  • homemade chunky guacamole and salsa
  • sour cream
  • cheese
  • extra wedges of lime to squeeze on top

I also never order guacamole when I'm out. It's always puréed like baby food. Gag.

Bluesheep8 · 26/07/2021 11:28

so if that's a 'faux' Irish bar in those places, what is an 'actual' Irish bar?

A bar in Ireland Confused

lovablequalities · 26/07/2021 11:36

I made nachos for tea the other night. Cooked steak (marinated in cumin, chipotle and oregano) on the bbq and made some refried black beans. Bbq corn cob. Guacamole. Flipping ace it was.

I'm very sad about your bag of Doritos. How much did they charge for that?

Not fucking nachos!!!!
Bluesheep8 · 26/07/2021 11:49

@loveablequalities

That looks AMAZING!!!

AlfonsoTheMango · 26/07/2021 11:52

@BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward

Good lord! 🤦🏻‍♀️ WTAF!

Reminds me of the time we went on a cheap night away with our eldest son, we ordered a takeaway to the room as it was late. My OH ordered a spaghetti carbonara. It was literally a tin of Heinz spaghetti (we knew this because it was uncut, long strands as Heinz is), with a few strands of grated cheese mixed through and some chopped up, tinned ham 😂😂😂 We were in absolute stitches at the brass neck of them (and the £7 charge) we were howling for days. We didn’t even complain, which we prob should have done, but we got our money’s worth from the comedy value 😂😂😂😂

I was once served 'spaghetti carbonara' that had green peppers in it. When I challenged this (I was living in Italy at the time and was on holiday in the UK so I knew what I was talking about) the server said "spaghetti carbonara is spaghetti with peppers".

It was unsurprisingly revolting.

userxx · 26/07/2021 13:21

@lovablequalities Those are exactly what I'm talking about - they look bloody amazing!

LookItsMeAgain · 26/07/2021 17:57

@FadoFado

A bar in...

...

...Ireland.

You are aware that there are such things as Irish bars in the places you mentioned. Sure they will have loads of memorabilia on the walls and be called something like "O'Neills" or "Mulligans" or whatever, they are still Irish bars. Selling Irish beer. I didn't realise (as an Irish person), that to be an Irish bar, it has to be on the island of Ireland. Every day is a school day.
FadoFado · 26/07/2021 18:00

As a fellow Irish person I'd call them 'Irish' bars. But I don't consider them to be Irish.

You can disagree of course!

FadoFado · 26/07/2021 18:03

And half those pubs that look like the unholy spawn of a mating between Darby O'Gill and The Quiet Man aren't even owned by Irish people or companies. It's just a branding thing. And good luck to them!

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 26/07/2021 18:06

I am very late to this thread but it reminds me of the time we went to our local pub for a Mother's Day meal and I ordered cauliflower cheese as a side dish (because I bloody love cauliflower cheese) and what I got was over-boiled cauliflower with literal grated cheese sprinkled on the top. It wasn't even that much grated cheese either.

I'm still disappointed and it was about eight years ago.

FlyingScott · 26/07/2021 18:08

@lovablequalities

I made nachos for tea the other night. Cooked steak (marinated in cumin, chipotle and oregano) on the bbq and made some refried black beans. Bbq corn cob. Guacamole. Flipping ace it was.

I'm very sad about your bag of Doritos. How much did they charge for that?

Oh my word 🤤🤤Grin
CuriousaboutSamphire · 26/07/2021 18:26

@AppleKatie

Good nachos are freshly fried cut tortillas, not crap from a bag.

Have you got a recipe for what you mean? I’ve just been looking and even luxury steak nachos recipes start with ‘open the packet of corn chips’

Allow me to jump in.

Bag of wraps - any sort, play around with it. Tesco used to do beetroot wraps, they worked really well.

Choose your perfect size of chip and cut the wraps up - I now cut them into 6 pieces, mainly because DH finds it amusing that I manage to get nigh on perfect cuts.

Grab a freezer bag for any you don't use. I chop up any wraps that don't get used instantly, they go mouldy so bloody quickly!

DSis confirms that gluten free ones need less initial cooking time and a lower temperature, it's a bit more tricky to balance melted and browned.

You might need to practice the plating up (see below) to know how many you need per serving. Place wedges of wrap in a single layer of a tray, avoid overlaps and put into a warm oven, no more than 140, and leave for at least 15 minutes, keep checking. Take them out just as they start to colour - as in just start. Again, you'll get the hang of that. Let them cool down and then:

Metal plate and put 'some' down as a base layer - you'll get better at this as you go.

Add pieces of pickled jalapeno and sprinkle with cheese - combination works best, not too strong a cheddar (it leaks too much oil), grated mozzarella etc.

Add second layer of chips - stagger the gaps in the layer below. Repeat jalapenos and cheese. Pop into a lowish oven, again no more than 140, for about 10 minutes. Keep an eye on them and just meltedness and browned bits to you own idea of perfection

Serve with shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, chopped spring onion, salsa, guacamole and soured cream

Variations - endless, but do start with this 'plain' version first to guage cooking times and portion size.

I have been known to feed 20 very hungry people with this, and beer. I had to borrow tin plates from the local scout group. I don't think anyone noticed it was meat free Grin

HeronLanyon · 27/07/2021 22:17

Never had nachos and don’t understand them ! Love a tortilla chip and guacamole etc but why greasy
Melted cheese on top. Never understood how you would eat them. Aren’t they just a soggy mess ?

PeapodBurgundy · 28/07/2021 00:31

A decent plate of nachos is truly amazing. I've since made scrummy ones topped with home made 5 bean chilli, cheese, salsa and soured cream. My soul is beginning to heal from the wound left behind by the bag of probably not even proper Doritos.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/07/2021 09:40

@HeronLanyon

Never had nachos and don’t understand them ! Love a tortilla chip and guacamole etc but why greasy Melted cheese on top. Never understood how you would eat them. Aren’t they just a soggy mess ?
I'd like to invite you here to enjoy a non greasy, crisp plateful of hot nachos with multiple cold sides.

But yes. To often commercial versions are too fully loaded and descend into soggy greasiness.

Eating them is easy. You pick them up by the uncovered top edge - bit like pizza crust. If cooked well they aren't soggy and dip well, or can be spoon loaded Smile

HeronLanyon · 28/07/2021 09:50

curious spoon to hand sounds sensible. Think o have seen too many pub nachos being eaten and looking awful. I may well experiment and there is such tempting guidance on this thread.

Illogicalmadness · 28/07/2021 09:52

I'd be reporting the restaurant to my local council's trading standards department. That's misrepresentation/misspelling, there's no way that was a plate of cheesy nachos. How much did they charge you for that. Rip off!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/07/2021 09:56

@HeronLanyon

curious spoon to hand sounds sensible. Think o have seen too many pub nachos being eaten and looking awful. I may well experiment and there is such tempting guidance on this thread.
I can only say that a few people Iknow who haven't liked pub offerings have tried my very simple version above and then gone on to make their own version.

I really do like a plate of them with just cheese and jalapenos and a second plate of all the salad and dips. I do occasionally load them with chilli etc. DH and I make them like we make pizzas, only the base is the same Smile But the simple version is our favourite.

AppleKatie · 28/07/2021 10:04

@CuriousaboutSamphire ohhh sounds like a summer holiday project right there!

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