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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 2 hours is long enough for drinks with friends?

155 replies

Finallybroody · 24/07/2021 18:13

I am out tonight with 2-3 friends for a couple of drinks. Meeting at 7:30. One of us isn’t drinking at all and I’m not a big drinker either. It’ll be lovely to have a chat and a catch up with a couple of gins but I am absolutely shattered after a long week at work - AIBU to leave at around 9:30? I always feel guilty leaving after such a short amount of time especially if I am first to leave but I am craving my bed Blush I’m only 34!

OP posts:
graysquirrel · 25/07/2021 17:59

I do this all the time. Love and adore my friends but I'm an introvert so a 2 hour drink is like a 4 hour session energy wise for me, can really affect me the next day if I'm out too long/late. There is one person in the group who always has to be sarcastic, but on the whole my friends get it. Now we mainly do little and often.

Buffoonborisisatwat · 25/07/2021 18:04

@Attheheart

I don't think you really like these people if you'd rather go home to bed at 9:30.

There are occasions when I want to leave after a couple of hours, but not catching up with friends I'm looking forward to seeing.

Wow, That's very judgy #attheheart.

OP knows her tolerances and may be ready to leave after 2 hours. Or she may not notice the time fly and stay a bit longer. All sorts of factors come into play, fatigue, ambient noise, friends getting hammered and making no sense..... Quality over quantity is best.

Enjoy your evening OP and do what you want when you want.

Ohanaa · 25/07/2021 18:07

[quote shouldistop]@Ohanaa well in my case I'll have a baby to feed possibly overnight and certainly early in the morning. In ops case she's exhausted. [/quote]
Ok and ?

If someone wants to kill the mood before they even arrive then just don’t go.

TrixieThunder · 25/07/2021 18:12

I don’t really understand why you are making this decision now. Go out, have a drink and a chat, leave when you are ready. I have had lots of times where I’ve not wanted to go out and think I’ll just stay for a couple and go - then the drinks flow, I’m having fun and it’s 2am Grin

TrixieThunder · 25/07/2021 18:13

@Finallybroody

Update - I was out til nearly midnight in the end, once I was out I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and got a new lease of energy once I had alcohol and music around me Grin

I AM however shattered today Wink

Sorry, didn’t RTFT but glad you went out and had fun!
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 25/07/2021 18:16

@Attheheart

I don't think you really like these people if you'd rather go home to bed at 9:30.

There are occasions when I want to leave after a couple of hours, but not catching up with friends I'm looking forward to seeing.

Yes, I'd agree with this. If I really want to see someone, 2hrs wouldn't cut it. If I needed to go to bed early, I'd arrange to meet up a bit earlier if possible.
gamerchick · 25/07/2021 18:20

@Finallybroody

Update - I was out til nearly midnight in the end, once I was out I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and got a new lease of energy once I had alcohol and music around me Grin

I AM however shattered today Wink

I was just about to say play it by ear, you may change your mind once you're out. Till I noticed it was yesterday Grin

Nowt like a bit of a catch up with friends, especially after the wanky year we've had.

casualnamechange · 25/07/2021 18:22

I have an autoimmune condition which makes me absolutely shattered (when it flares up it’s like, I get home from work and am asleep at 7). These comments are SO shitty.

eurochick · 25/07/2021 18:25

At 34 I would just be getting warmed up. At 44 I would have been thinking about what time I needed to get up in the morning. 🤷‍♀️

RightYesButNo · 25/07/2021 18:26

@Whycantibeapuppy

Can you just see how you feel? If I’m going out with a group of people I get socially anxious so 2 hours would feel like forever, but with my closest friends that flies by and it’s midnight before we know it!
I’ve got to say, I’m not sure what to call this. It’s like you’re psychic… but the day after? Grin OP commented several hours before you at 09:59 (the event was last night) that once she was out, she had a great time and stayed til gone midnight.
FogHornInTheAttic · 25/07/2021 18:28

11pm is about right for me.Just have an espresso martini or something to perk you up

casualnamechange · 25/07/2021 18:30

@Ohanaa I’d encourage you to be a bit more empathetic about people’s situations, rather than dismissing it as “killing the mood”, as if your perception of “the mood” is the ABSOLUTE priority. Whilst I do see where you’re coming from in some ways, there have been a lot of times I’ve made plans and not cancelled even though I’m feeling quite unwell (autoimmune condition), but I might have to say at the start that I’m having a bit of a flare up because it’s fairly obvious anyway.
I always have fun and would never sit there moaning but it’s comments like yours that make me think - why bother if people are going to think like that? It’s really, really short sighted and judgemental.

PeachyPeachTrees · 25/07/2021 18:37

2 hours wouldn't be long enough for me! I wouldn't mention it at the start of the night, if I thought I might only stay a short time.

justasking111 · 25/07/2021 18:38

@Finallybroody

Update - I was out til nearly midnight in the end, once I was out I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and got a new lease of energy once I had alcohol and music around me Grin

I AM however shattered today Wink

That's my lot too. We drag ourselves out then wind up chatting in the car park after closing time 😂
Bertiebiscuit · 25/07/2021 18:48

You make having a drink with friends sound like a chore - maybe you need friends you actually like - or maybe you prefer other activities like theatre, gigs, cinema, movie..... Just drinking isn't my idea of a fun night out tbh

Nyala · 25/07/2021 19:12

People are being rude saying "You clearly don't like these people" and "You're already planning your exit and you're not even out yet?!"

Don't be so silly, it's perfectly normal to want to limit your amount of time spent with friends especially when you are tired. I get it. I'm under 30 and I'm exhausted constantly because of a health issue and I just can't stay out for hours any more. I love my friends, but being out for hours exhausts me. I'd rather spend a good quality 2 hours with them and head home, than spens 4 hours and have the last couple of hours feeling tired and miserable.

You do you.

You know whether you like your friends or not. Don't let people tell you that you don't just because of you not wanting to drink all night with them!

Buffs · 25/07/2021 19:13

I love my friends, absolutely love meeting them for drinks and would definitely leave by 9.30. They know I’m a lightweight and totally accept me for it.

pinatastick · 25/07/2021 19:16

I quite often think I'm only up for having a couple of drinks and that I'll probably leave 'early'. Never happens, once I get in to it I'm unlikely to be home before midnight!

omgthepain · 25/07/2021 19:56

At 34 make your own mind up
I'd drive then you can get up and go whoever you want or Pre-book your taxi's at times to suit you

Sod everyone else

theleafandnotthetree · 25/07/2021 20:42

@casualnamechange

I have an autoimmune condition which makes me absolutely shattered (when it flares up it’s like, I get home from work and am asleep at 7). These comments are SO shitty.
The OP has given no indication that she has any condition under than normal adult life. So the comments are not in any way shitty, she asked, we're answering and as it turns out, she had a great night thar lasted well past 9.30
SherbrookeFosterer · 25/07/2021 21:23

You sound to me like a busy person who respects their time.

After two hours boozing, conversations tend to get sloppy or sleazy or worse, so you have a sensible rule.

Dnaltocs · 25/07/2021 22:26

Tell your friends that your intension is to leave early at the start of the evening. Then go, or if you feel like staying the stay. Some on this page will make you feel old or guilty. Do what your body tells you, if your tired then your tired.

Thewarrenerswife · 25/07/2021 22:44

You’re a grown up…. Leave when you want to.

MidsummerMimi · 25/07/2021 23:34

As a light drinker or non drinker 2 hours is the perfect time for me to attend anything.
A cross between a guest appearance and a children's birthday party in terms of time works best for me.
I am totally good to say up front, that I will be out of there as soon I feel ready to leave.
I’m genuinely delighted to see friends, chat, mix and buy everyone drinks.
After 2 hours my energy and enthusiasm wilts.I wish everyone a great time and go home.
As the drinkers get drunker, I get bored.
Unfortunately I find it’s the drinkers who don’t put their cards the table and say, “ we want to stay to the absolute biter end, we don’t care if you are bored, tired or alienated”

Stirling2701 · 26/07/2021 08:03

That would be plenty of time for me. I am starting to fall asleep at 9.30 - however scintillating the company!