To think 2 hours is long enough for drinks with friends?

[Finallybroody]

I am out tonight with 2-3 friends for a couple of drinks. Meeting at 7:30. One of us isn’t drinking at all and I’m not a big drinker either. It’ll be lovely to have a chat and a catch up with a couple of gins but I am absolutely shattered after a long week at work - AIBU to leave at around 9:30? I always feel guilty leaving after such a short amount of time especially if I am first to leave but I am craving my bed I’m only 34!

I think it is a bit rude and maybe more so if you announce it the minute you arrive, puts a downer on the evening from the start. If I were meeting up with friends on a Saturday night, I cannot imagine plotting my escape by 9:30pm.

I would say, on arriving and being asked how I am, “I’m really knackered, big week at work but didn’t want to cancel, so am just coming along for a couple of hours, really wanted to see you!” then that paves the way for later. You might find you want to stay longer, though.

I care about my friends, if one said she was tired and wanted to go home and rest I wouldn't be at all offended. Then again if I was tired but meeting friends who needed a good chat, or had gone to trouble of arranging childcare, I would stay later regardless of being tired.

I always tell myself I'll only stay a couple of hours. I'm also always still there at 11.

Wait and see how you feel.

2 hours would be plenty for me but then I don’t really drink and don’t like being around drunk people so don’t enjoy going to bars and usually leave before things really get going. My friends seems to respect that and we tend to meet for lunch instead.

You don't want to go do you?

Not long enough for me. I wouldn’t restrict myself to a time before I’d even got there.

Well you do what you wnat or need to do.

I never spent just 2 hours. We do take much longer to chat and have fun. I manage 12 hours session few times with friend we don't see each other often😂 similar age to you

@Ohanaa well in my case I'll have a baby to feed possibly overnight and certainly early in the morning. In ops case she's exhausted.

Do you need to decide in advance - can't you just play it by ear and leave when you've had enough? Agree with pp that planning your escape on too much detail suggests you don't really want to go at all.

If it makes you feel any better I’m the same and Im 23, I just get tired and cold easily, it’s not that I don’t like my friends.

Having said that, I do think some of it’s down to the time of day and presence of alcohol, I don’t enjoy drinking so I don’t really like staying late on evenings but I love going for lunch and shopping with friends, could you plan something like that with your friends ?

This is why I never go out on Fridays, even with DH. Fridays are for a takeaway, sofa and chill out. Saturday’s are when we would see friends when we’re feeling more relaxed and less tired after a week at work.

YANBU but if they have travelled a long way or made a huge effort to get there it might be polite to mention in advance you can’t stay out for long.

I have a friend and last time we went for lunch she literally said she needed to leave after an hour. I’d arranged childcare, used up my quota of childfree time for that week, travelled a 3 hour round trip into central London, not to mention the £20 train fare plus the cost of lunch. So it would have been nice if she’d said in advance “look I can only spare an hour so let me know if you’d rather postpone” . She is childfree though so probably doesn’t quite get it.

That would be nowhere near long enough for me and my friends

You're a grown up who can decide to go home when she likes. But maybe the chat will be great and the two gins will pep you up.

@Oblomov21

Too early for me. 10 is acceptable.

Would it piss you off if a friend left at 9:30 though? I mean, would you be thinking 'Wow, she's gone home too early for me.'

Jeez, it's a bit feeble alright and I'm nearly 50. Last weekend I was out Friday night til 2.30 a.m but had a long standing arrangement with other friends to meet for drinks on the Saturday night. I definitely didnt feel like it much but I went anyway, met them at 7.30 and still wasn't home until after 12. I drove, gave everyone a lift home and had a brilliant chat and was so happy to see them. I am not a drinker at all, nor would I consider myself a partyer but catching up with friends properly and without one eye on the clock is really important if you want to keep said friends. I'd be pretty unimpressed with you saying you were going to leave at or leaving at 9.30.

OP I sympathise.

Some of the comments here are why I often avoid going out with friends. I don't like being up/out too late (lack of sleep makes my MH symptoms flare up, plus by the evening my social batteries are starting to really drain).

I absolutely would like to see my friends, and would really enjoy myself for a couple of hours. But they get a bit funny about it 'oh you can't go yet' and I feel like a kill joy. Easier to say I'm not free that evening.

I am amazed at the amount of people who make such a link between not drinking and wanting to stay out more than a few hours. I often don't drink at all, if I do it's usually one and I love being out and if there's dancing later I'd be well up for that too. I think staying up til the wee hours occasionally is good for the soul. I'm a grown up and can't be doing with going off to bed like a child 365 nights of the year..

I think staying up til the wee hours occasionally is good for the soul. I'm a grown up and can't be doing with going off to bed like a child 365 nights of the year..

Absolutely.

theleafandnotthetree would you prefer to make your friend stay out late when they really didnt want to?

I’ve been out this afternoon from 5-7 with friends - it was a nice time and really it was plenty! We live nearby and see them fairly often though; if that was a yearly catch-up it would be a bit brief.

@Micemakingclothes

2 or maybe 3 hours is generally plenty for me. 9:30 or 10 is plenty late to be out. I have never understood the draw of fighting exhaustion.

Exhaustion at 9.30? Seriously? God some people make being a grown up look like such a drag. Where's the fun, the spontaneity?

It depends how far every one is travelling and how difficult it is for your friends to arrange a night out, really

If they live 20 minutes walk away and are young free and single, then it's less of an issue. If they live an hour away and have had to arrange an Uber and a babysitter, then I don't imagine they will be best pleased.

"Exhaustion at 9.30? Seriously?"

Eh, yes, seriously.

I also like to go cold water swimming at 5 am, don't tell me you don't like to do that too - seriously?