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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In hospital

340 replies

2under2howscary · 22/07/2021 22:25

Okay. So I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not.

I woke up this morning with sudden onset blurry vision, and severe headache.

Went to eye a&e were I was found to have pressure in the back of my eyes, so they decided to send me straight to a&e

I went sent straight to a&e as told. I've had a CT can (awaiting results) where they're querying a blood clot or intercranial hypertension.

My partner works away. Tonight he is 2 hours away in Preston. He's gone out for dinner with his work friends which is fine. Here is where I may be unreasonable.
I asked him not to get drunk in case I needed him tonight, or for whatever reason he had to drive back. He agreed three times.

I've just been texting him and he's drunk as anything. He says I'm having a pop for no reason, and just being argumentative and stopping him having drinks for no reason. He'll no doubt stop talking to me now.

So AIBU for asking him not to drink? Even though he's 2.5 hours away?

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 22/07/2021 23:19

Stop phoning him, it's only going to upset you more. Concentrate on yourself. I hope they find out what is wrong and you can go home soon

HollowTalk · 22/07/2021 23:19

That tells you everything, doesn't it? He doesn't have your back. He simply doesn't care enough about anything but himself.

You have to think carefully now about what to do, OP.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 22/07/2021 23:20

I think you've just had confirmation that your relationship is dead OP. I think it goes beyond selfish behaviour, I dont think he actually gives a shit about you. If that was the other way round and it was someone in hospital that you loved, you'd, like most people, be worried and wanting to support them, take their mind off it, check for news etc. I'd be too worried and wouldnt go out drinking even if i was in a different country and couldnt get back, as I'd be no sort of company and wouldbt enjoy it as I'd be constantly checking my phone for news and thinking about arrangements if I needed to try and get home quicker. Not calling them 'dramatic' which a. You weren't being and b. Would be understandable in the circumstances

Vodkabulary · 22/07/2021 23:21

Leave him

What happens if you’re ill? Do you think this man is going to bother looking after you and supporting you? He sounds like a
Complete prick!

You and your little one deserve better. Don’t ruin both your lives by staying with him
Because if you leave he’ll avoid cms

1FootInTheRave · 22/07/2021 23:21

This man does not love you. Not one bit.

Sorry op.

Get your shit together and get rid asap.

Elletine · 22/07/2021 23:22

Kick him out! You’ll never get what you need from this stain of a person. Chuck him OP, seriously. Flowers

SureBorisKnowsWhatHesDoingNOT · 22/07/2021 23:23

Hope your results are ok OP. Most necessary procedure sounds like removal of that giant pain in your arse.

skodadoda · 22/07/2021 23:23

I think you know the choice you have. Stay with a selfish twat who will never put you and his child before himself or LTB . We can’t do for you.

PrincessNutella · 22/07/2021 23:24

What a useless fucker. Pardon me while I bloat myself with contempt for the useless fleshbag that is your husband.

tiredanddangerous · 22/07/2021 23:25

This relationship is dead op. He doesn't give a shit about you. What are you going to do about it?

Hugoslavia · 22/07/2021 23:26

This would be a deal breaker for me. He should have driven home at 11am.

UsernameNotAvailableApparently · 22/07/2021 23:27

@SureBorisKnowsWhatHesDoingNOT

Hope your results are ok OP. Most necessary procedure sounds like removal of that giant pain in your arse.
This ^

Hope you’re okay OP, what a shit show your ‘D’ P is.

OhNoNoNoNoNo · 22/07/2021 23:27

Hope you are feeling better soon OP 💐💐

Houseofvelour · 22/07/2021 23:31

Leave him. Honestly, no normal person would be this blasé about their partner being in hospital for a potentially dangerous ailment.

You said yourself, he's 8 times out of 10 an arsehole.
You deserve better.

I hope you're ok op and the results come back with something minor and easily treated xx

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 23:33

That's a really shitty thing to do.

He hasn't put your first at all.

Hope you're okay OP and on the mend soon x

SpiceRat · 22/07/2021 23:33

Your partner is an arsehole OP. Flowers

I’ve been in your position with the bloody clot / hypertension. Mine turned out to be hypertension. Luckily it is in remission now but if you have any questions about it I’m happy to answer as I dealt with it for years as a young adult x

Notimeforaname · 22/07/2021 23:35

Are you ok op ? Have you had your results yet? We are all here for you,fuck him. Flowers

Swallowridge · 22/07/2021 23:36

Papilledema, which this sounds like from personal experience, is a proper medical emergency and you are in the right place.

Hopefully it will resolve with meds and regular checks of your optic discs and they can get to the bottom of what caused the increased intracranial pressure. I don't think he grasps just how serious this can be though. Please look after yourself.

ladymuck111 · 22/07/2021 23:36

He's an arsehole. In fact he's something that begins in C and ends in T

Original poster
2under2howscary · 22/07/2021 23:36

Results came back:
No clots thankfully but ocular and intercranial hypertension xx

OP posts:
PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 23:36

I just read your updates.

He's a first class cunt and I don't use that word often.

BackforGood · 22/07/2021 23:36

I was shocked by what you described to begin with, and he's got worse as you've added your updates.

I'm not a poster who generally shouts for people to leave their partners. Lots of people go through rough patches and then work on their relationships, but, with each addition you sound more and more like you knw he isn't the kind of person you want to spend the next 40+ years of your life with, so I'd advise thinking about what on earth he is bringing to your relationship.
You know what you need to do.

I hope the results are good news.
Get yourself well, and then change the locks.

tedsletterofthelaw · 22/07/2021 23:36

@2under2howscary

Results came back: No clots thankfully but ocular and intercranial hypertension xx
Brilliant news.

Are they letting you go home now?

saraclara · 22/07/2021 23:36

@1FootInTheRave

This man does not love you. Not one bit.

Sorry op.

Get your shit together and get rid asap.

I hate to say it. But that first line is absolutely right.

If he loved you, even a little bit, there's no way he'd behave like this.
He also doesn't love his child if he can walk out of the house for three weeks without saying goodbye to him, just to spite you.

Your home is in your name. Throw him out. Seriously, I almost never say LTB, but this is one of the saddest stories I've read on here. The man is irredeemable.

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 23:37

Sorry OP not medical but I take that as good news? Glad there isn't any clots and you can get hole to your precious baby boy x