In hospital

[2under2howscary]

Okay. So I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not.

I woke up this morning with sudden onset blurry vision, and severe headache.

Went to eye a&e were I was found to have pressure in the back of my eyes, so they decided to send me straight to a&e

I went sent straight to a&e as told. I've had a CT can (awaiting results) where they're querying a blood clot or intercranial hypertension.

My partner works away. Tonight he is 2 hours away in Preston. He's gone out for dinner with his work friends which is fine. Here is where I may be unreasonable.
I asked him not to get drunk in case I needed him tonight, or for whatever reason he had to drive back. He agreed three times.

I've just been texting him and he's drunk as anything. He says I'm having a pop for no reason, and just being argumentative and stopping him having drinks for no reason. He'll no doubt stop talking to me now.

So AIBU for asking him not to drink? Even though he's 2.5 hours away?

@Heyha yes, he said asked if everything looked okay. And looked at the scan photos. Didn't say much else and hasn't brought it up since

We can cheer you on until the 31st! You will be so much better off with out this waste of space

It must be so wearing to keep being made to feel hurt & upset by his selfish actions.

With him being an arsehole towards you the majority of the time, do you think you've come to almost expect to be hurt & become almost immune to the sadness from it? Or does his uncaring selfishness still take you by surprise?

I think if you have to "ask" your partner not to get drunk because you're in hospital is a big problem... He sounds like a wanker tbh. Sorry OP. I just cant imagine any scenario where I would get drunk in this situation.

Hope you're ok OP 💐 sounds scary for you.

He should've come straight home to be with your baby and been around in case you need anything!

This is what I'd have been expecting. He's so far in the wrong it's shocking he can't see it!

YANBU. You’ve been admitted to A&E FFS!

Just seen some of your other posts, I'm sure he has some good qualities but the bad ones you've mentioned would have been enough for me to leave and find someone who would care for me more. Sorry OP, don't want to upset you

Oh my goodness I’m so glad he’s not your DH! Please try to leave - you deserve someone who will put you first!

I feel really sad reading this that you are on your own, hope you are ok and WTAF re partner, time to re asses

Glad your scan went well OP. Gold luck preparing for the 31st, you are doing so well and sound stronger than you probably feel.

As a side note OP - I was diagnosed with benign intracranial hypertension when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my son. Started off as a headache and blurred vision, then ended up having lumbar punctures and on water tablets to manage it. It's so much more common in pregnancy than people realise, please do look after yourself! You need to focus on you, your little one and your baby, not somebody who's not prepared not to go to the pub while you're in hospital!

what a wanker

Oh op. You must, must leave.

How are you doing today OP? X

I'm feeling better thank you. DS and I have been on a trip out to the seaside yesterday and to soft play and the park today.

Being civil and normalish with DP so he doesn't suspect much. But, I've spoken to my parents to get their support with asking DP to leave.

Thank you again everyone. I didn't realise how awful he sounded until I read back this post :(

OP so pleased you and DS have been able to enjoy a bit of time together.
I really hope your parents can support you to leave DP, so you two can be happy going forward 💐

Please stay angry OP! Don’t soften 💪

Actually writing it down on a page / Mumsnet post can be really revealing, lays out all the small stuff that is, cumulatively, huge.

Glad you're feeling better. Take care of self.

Get your ducks in a row as they say. Get copies of important paperwork. And take anything personal or valuable to you to your parents, so he can't take it. If your child has a passport send that to your parents too. Think about bank accounts etc.

The way I read this is that you took on the tenancy in your own name leaving him out of it entirely. I think deep down you knew this was coming and were already preparing for it. Another way to look at this is that today you proved to yourself how strong you are and got through it without him!! You didn't actually need him today!! Just remind yourself of this!!! You did good today! Stay strong!

I do think writing it down and also getting the unvarnished opinion of strangers can help.

Somehow as humans we're conditioned to accept the narrative people present us. That's why confident public schoolboys are so successful - they just tell people they're great and people by and large believe them.

Your P told you you were overreacting to him getting pissed while you were in A&E expecting you to just agree with his assessment of things and put up with it. I'm so glad you haven't.

I'm also so glad you've got your parents support. I'm sure they don't want their daughter being treated as you have been, I wouldn't. Good luck OP.

@2under2howscary

How are you doing OP ?

Still all ok on the health front ?

Have you made any decisions about moving DP out yet ?

He's decided to go to sleep as I'm being dramatic. Ah well, fuck him.
Did you forget to add the "I'm LTB"? 🤣

I know it's easy for me to sit here and say it, but he sounds like a totally selfish, twat-faced git and you know you deserve better, don't you? I don't think I could continue to live with someone so immature and selfish.

I really hope that everything is ok with your scans.

Sorry for not updating.

So, DP went to Preston with work on 30th. He had tried to be all nice the days before and I almost lost my anger.

He rang me, the first night in Preston and said 'are you going to get in a huff again if I have a pint after work?' All goading and nasty.

I just ended the call. He ended up getting drunk as usual, forgetting to even FaceTime DS at bedtime.

He doesn't drink at home, this is just every night he's away. A good few times a month.

Because of that comment, I really thought you're such an arse! I can't believe I almost thought of just letting the a&e thing lie.

As of today: he's at his mothers house for 5 days, with all his stuff. He gave me the key back after a lot of asking. He's trying to apologise and come home but I'm not interested. He tried to argue against me asking him to leave - but I told him I'm done arguing.

It's been lovely not having anyone to answer to, or to try and make an effort with on a night. If I'm tired I can go to bed without someone mentioning how I should be spending my time with them etc etc.

Sorry the update isn't that great, but I've LTB xx

@updownroundandround and okay ish. At the eye hospital Monday to finally get some eye drops to relieve the pressure behind my eyes.

Have an appointment with neurology to see where we go from here. As being pregnant I'm not allowed to take any tablets :(