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Original poster

Rude of school mums or not ?

288 replies

bto35 · 22/07/2021 17:26

Today is the last day of school for my child is in reception

We have a class WhatsApp group and a couple of days ago a message popped up saying is everybody still coming to the park on the last day of school and what food should they bring?

This is the first that I heard of it. For some context there is a park near the school that I select five parents visit because they live near there on the way home from school so you have to kind of be invited to go there with them and so far I never have been I know have a lot of other parents either so I know this is not just something personal to me on my child

Anyway there was backwards and forwards messages on the class WhatsApp group which does have 30 parents on there and about five are participating in the excitement of bringing cheese sandwiches in Tesco finest and then it all went quiet

What is irritating me about this is that I know for a fact a group invite has not been put out to say hey guys it’s the last day of term our children have gone for reception together everybody is invited instead it’s only for the park group if you like but she put it out to everybody to see on WhatsApp by saying is everybody still coming to the park when not everybody was actually even invited ?!

I just find this really rude as I know I’m not the only parent that’s reading these messages knowing full well that we never knew anything about this and I’ve not been included or invited and I just feel because it was the last day of term for the whole class it would’ve been nice for it to be inclusive to everybody

It’s so ironic to me that the two women that do this kind of behaviour are the ones that represent themselves for class WhatsApp group leaders for the PTA for the fundraising and even for the collection of money and for the teachers gifts yet they’ll take your money but don’t invite you to the park just seems really odd

Am I too invested to be annoyed ? Should I have pointed out that it hasn’t been a class invite so ‘ is everyone still coming’ doesn’t actually mean that

OP posts:
DoubleTweenQueen · 23/07/2021 15:44

Ah. PTA. I was Treasurer for ours for 4 years, with my friend being the Chair. It was a part time job, and full-on around the main events through the year, and for me at annual audit time.
The amount of abuse and grief we got from certain people (including a few school staff) was really demoralising, and we were part of a great team of parents who raised more for the school than ever before (or since).

I wouldn't do it again.

DoubleTweenQueen · 23/07/2021 15:48

@bto35 It seems you took umbrage as you had already decided that you disliked this group? The way you reacted to this seems unnecessary.
I don't know why people don't just try to communicate better - being overlooked or 'slighted', it's rarely what you think it is.

Idontwantyourfreedom · 23/07/2021 15:55

That’s not something I could give a hoot about - who cares who is going to the park?

Febo24 · 23/07/2021 16:01

I'm chair and I'm on the verge of packing it in. The idea that we're some clique that think that we're better than anyone else is laughable. Try knackered, stressed and undervalued.

I'm a a class Facebook messenger group for each class, we're not the most communicative and that gets less as your kids get older. Not the whole class are on there, people just added people they'd got to know. You don't make any effort at all, then don't expect everyone to lay it on for you.

In all honesty it doesn't sound (based on what you've said) like a deliberate attempt to upset people, or them being rude. It sounds like a clunky way to get the whole class along and a little communication issue.

I wouldn't be surprised if they are thinking they tried and no one took them up on it.

So many people here projecting insecurity and paranoia on a group of women for having the audacity to be friends though and that really gets my goat.

KatherineOfGaunt · 23/07/2021 16:09

@bto35

Call me crazy I think if you take it up son yourself to put on a class wattsapp a message asking ‘ is everyone still coming to the END OF YEAR CLASS picnic ? And you haven’t actually let people know about it, it’s rude . Simply because they are a class and it’s a end of year so should be inclusive . The photos shared included just the kids i mentioned the majority of the class wasn’t there because we weren’t told about it . It’s that simple
But you were told about it several days ago? Okay, perhaps the original invite went astray, but this isn't something you've only just found out about. You find about it earlier this week, chose not to say or do anything, and now you're upset!

I think these mums are posting photos in the group because they tried to invite people to the class party in the park, nobody responded so they went on their own.

DoubleTweenQueen · 23/07/2021 16:15

I've found that quite a lot of children often behave in a nicer way to each other, than their mothers to other mums - less childish! :)
All the children could have gone to the park and had a great time, not caring about WhatsApp messages.

notmyturnagain · 23/07/2021 16:57

@bto35

Call me crazy I think if you take it up son yourself to put on a class wattsapp a message asking ‘ is everyone still coming to the END OF YEAR CLASS picnic ? And you haven’t actually let people know about it, it’s rude . Simply because they are a class and it’s a end of year so should be inclusive . The photos shared included just the kids i mentioned the majority of the class wasn’t there because we weren’t told about it . It’s that simple
But you were told about it, on the WhatsApp group. And no one else replied, so no one else was there to be in the photo. You have to put some effort in as well if you want to get to know people. I can't believe all this drama.
Tresal · 23/07/2021 16:58

‘Darling, I am at the station. Will be home by 6.30pm. Xx’ was posted on our class chat by one of the dads the other day. It wasn’t a dig at single parents or people who had to work late or people who weren’t called ‘darling’. It was just put on the wrong chat by mistake.

Nohomemadecandles · 23/07/2021 18:07

@bto35

Call me crazy I think if you take it up son yourself to put on a class wattsapp a message asking ‘ is everyone still coming to the END OF YEAR CLASS picnic ? And you haven’t actually let people know about it, it’s rude . Simply because they are a class and it’s a end of year so should be inclusive . The photos shared included just the kids i mentioned the majority of the class wasn’t there because we weren’t told about it . It’s that simple
If the majority of the class weren't there, what are you griping about? If there's more of you than there are of them, your inclusively argument doesn't hold any water. The words EVERYONE and CLASS let you know that ANYONE could have gone if they weren't too bust being offended.
Changednameforthis2021 · 23/07/2021 18:17

@chunderwunder

Don't sweat it OP. I recently discovered the existence of a WhatsApp group for everyone in my kid's year. Apart from me seemingly Grin
Same here 😂
MsTSwift · 23/07/2021 18:52

Think you are being abit thin skinned and self absorbed. Most people are busy and self absorbed too and aren’t trying to purposely “leave out” other adults. The pp whose the only one not on the class what’sapp surely an oversight? Just ask to be added?

DoubleTweenQueen · 23/07/2021 19:40

Our WA group keeps adding people as new people arrive in the school/class, and we have a mum's night out group formed recently to which people accidentally forgotten are being added - without any fuss - when anyone pipes up and suggests more that might be interested. Those that are added late don't seem to be put out.

Some parents groups can be a bit offish, but you don't know until you try!

Heartf3lt · 30/06/2022 20:04

This the first time I have created a post! My son started reception in September. Most of the mums are really friendly with the exception of one. We have each others number due to her son and my son going to each other's birthday parties. She was really friendly at first but having messaged her a few times since just ignored my messages. I have no idea why! We haven't had many conversations so I only think it's either because I'm not kind of person or she doesn't like my son. Either way, I wouldn't totally ignore somebody if they try to be friendly towards you. Problem is she is friends with lots of other mums/knows a lot of teaching staff etc. It's really frustrating that she is has been rude to me but everyone thinks she is perfect. I am fairly good friends with a mum who is good friends with the her and so feel sad when she says lovely things about this specific mum. I imagine i can't be the only one she has ignored but how do I forgot about this and try to stay friendly with all other mums in the class! It makes me not want to do the school run as I don't want to talk anyone when she is nearby.

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