My son has just started work, admittedly it isn't the greatest wage, however he's been very lucky to get a job as an apprentice p,umber on 15K. He gets picked up every day so won't need fuel for his car at all during the working week. Incidentallly we bought the car, insured it for him for the first year and husband also gave him half towards his first big repair bill which cost us £200.
Times have been extremely tough financially the last few years, made worse by Covid, like many people. Our DD dances to a very high standard and it goes without saying that this costs an awful lot of money, but we manage somehow like no fancy expenditures and no holidays for the last five years. I've recently had an ankle op so I've also lost money from work.
About two months ago my son had desperately needed new clothes. Smart for interviews and some casual which had cost around £180/200 which we had paid for. He has had part time jobs but nothing since January due to Covid and then studying for A Levels
Last Saturday I'd gone into town with him, my first venture on crutches and he was going to buy himself a few things to wear with his first salary. He'd probably spent around £70 on himself before we decided to head for lunch and a rest as I was shattered. Without thinking I said I'd buy lunch. Force of habit really as not used to him working. However when we had almost arrived at the food place he remembered they only took cash. I waited outside for him as he needed to walk further up the road to withdraw cash. I gave him my card and PIN number and even as he walked away I honestly thought he'd come back and say he was treating me out of his first wage packet.
We ordered food and sat down and he told me he'd taken £20 out of my account. I think mine was £7.50 as I'd ordered small but his was more, possibly £9/10. He put the change on the table and then in his pocket as I had no bag or pockets. He kept the change but I am sure he'd just forgotten about it and I wasn't going to ask for £2 back.
Being honest I felt really hurt and ashamed to admit I shed a tear (pathetic I know) as it made me feel kind of crap. I've always felt guilty about DD's dancing as she has had more spent on her but that isn't my fault. I've tried to make it up to him in other ways and the year before I'd bought him an off-road bike £1000 and £500 worth of clothing, boots, helmet etc. It's not even the money, it's the gesture and I think it felt worse because I'd stood in the street on crutches whilst he'd gone to withdraw money from my own account. Even if he'd said 'Do you mind if we have a packet of sandwiches each, I'll treat you' that would have felt better.
AIBU to think this was a bit mean after 18 years of trying to always give him what we could afford or was it my fault for inadvertently saying I'd pay.