Baby Shower Drama

[LilMum23]

I found out by accident that a close friend is throwing me a surprise baby shower at the weekend.
It is a really sweet gesture, I am touched, but I'm really anxious regarding COVID19, it's not really what I want right now.

We are experiencing really high infection rates again and my doctor advised me not to get vaccinated yet due to the pregnancy and to treat myself as high risk, so I've been really careful and self isolated since start of third trimester.

I've got no doubt there will be children attending the party - who I adore - but they have been mixing at school.
I don't have the greatest faith in the 30min lateral tests.
I really don't want to put myself and my baby in risk for a bit of cake and a gathering despite the sweet intentions, I also hate letting people down too who have it seems put in a lot of effort on my behalf. Also it's supposed to be a big surprise so I'm not sure how to approach this.

I feel stuck. It's stressing me out.
What would you do????

Tell them youve been pinged!

@saveyourbreath

Just be honest.

Also why is your GP telling you not to get the vaccine??

This. Gp sounds mental!

@memberofthewedding

Tell them youve been pinged!

A bit pointless seeing as the event has happened and the OP attended.

9/10 pregnant women hasn't had the vaccine they said on the news the other night.

I absolutely wouldn't, either.

Tbh, I'd chill out a bit and just enjoy the baby shower. But if you don't want it, just say pregnancy has you feeling awful/bedbound...

Thanks for the update, OP - glad it worked out well for you and your friends.

Take good care of yourself and the baby!

@LilMum23

I did attend the shower. Fortunately the weather although not sunny, was dry so we could all sit outside. We were spread out on a decent sized table and only 6 people including myself attended - kids were left at home. A lot of effort was made with hired catering, who gave us all individual plates and the theme of the party was incredibly thoughtful towards myself and my baby with some beautiful gifts and activities.

Overall I ended up having a really lovely afternoon and I feel bad for the way I acted beforehand but at the same time I'm glad the surprise was ruined and we all agreed it was for the best we had the chat beforehand on feeling safe. So no relationships damaged.

I spoke to some people who I thought may have been hurt not attending but everyone was incredibly understanding and we will have a proper celebration when we are able.
So all good.

I don't really want to drag up the COVID vaccine debates but I spoke with my medical team this week and they have said I'm full term, they won't vaccinate, I will be booked in asap after I've given birth. I have no issues with that.

Someone asked a question regarding my isolating - when I hit week 28 I've essentially acted like in the 1st lockdown last Spring. I worked from home until maternity leave started, not seen anyone in person except my partner who I live with, the odd doorstep visitor and my midwife appointments at the Drs. Had shopping delivered and only gone out for outside walk/gentle exercise and pick up essentials masked and gloved, taking a skin antibacterial spray. So yeah I've been really careful. But to my friends credit they didn't realise/really know this. They knew I was working from home.
Family knew though as they have only been on doorstep and not been allowed to touch bump - which they haven't liked. Though again maybe didn't realise the extent I was isolating. Partner fully knew so I was surprised he was a hand in organising. But all is well that end's well I guess. Lessons learned.

Thanks for the support.

Glad all went well and outside and limited numbers

Tho doesn’t sound like friends have kept in contact with you the last 10/12w if knew working at home

But didn’t pop round or do FaceTime text you etc

Or they would have known how careful you were being

"Glad all went well and outside and limited numbers

Tho doesn’t sound like friends have kept in contact with you the last 10/12w if knew working at home

But didn’t pop round or do FaceTime text you etc

Or they would have known how careful you were being"

No ones been popping round anyone's with COVID. We don't do facetime except when we have something important like an announcement (the gender reveal) or a birthday.
We keep in touch via texting but everyone leads busy lives its not uncommon for us to be out of touch for weeks/months then catch up like no time has passed.

So I'm not at all annoyed with my friends intentions in hindsight they wasn't to know. Was more upset with my partner, SIL & MIL because they definitely knew how I felt as them not being able to grope the baby bump caused issues. (Partner could touch the bump obviously).

But anyway all well ends well. I had a lovely time and we were all safe. Baby is born now - gorgeous and healthy :-D
and I'm booked in for COVID Vacc next week.