To think my neighbour is wrong to play music in the garden?

[InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest]

I work from home (always, not just a few days a week or because of Covid) and my office opens onto my garden. The section of garden it opens onto is about three metres or so from the boundary fence that separates our garden from our neighbours'.

This neighbour (who we don't have the best relationship with for a number of reasons - but I should say he's attended anger management courses in the past and other neighbours warned us about him in the past) built some kind of permanent gazebo attached to the fence (which also takes light away from our living room but it's been there for longer than we could now report it so it's there to stay) and given they are a retired couple, they spend most of their days sitting there, smoking and playing music. When their grandchildren come over to use the temporary pool, it's constant shrieking (and throwing stuff into our garden!).

We usually don't say anything but today they have started playing some sort of techno music so loud that the people on my conf calls can hear it through my laptop microphone (I have the door open because of the heat).

I tried to call out 'hello? hello?' in a 'friendly voice' but nobody answered. So they either left the music going and left the garden, or just don't care at all. I am getting more and more annoyed at the fact that I might end up having to close the door because of their music, especially in this heat.

AIBU to think they should be more considerate? That when they built that structure attached to the boundary fence they should have realised they couldn't use it as if it where further from our garden?

And, more importantly, how can I get them to stop playing loud music? Thank you!

I think it is inconsiderate of your neighbours to play music loudly in the garden, soft music would be OK. I don't know what you can do about it, if anything.

Others have suggested ways of masking the noise. Do you have to work in a room at the back of the house? I doubt you'd hear much at the front.

YABU, yes it's a pain, yes it's hot but I have been on meetings this morning with headphones on they really don't make you hot.

We're trying to sell my dad's property and just lost one sale. I am wondering if they might have gone back for a second look and if it's his neighbours who play music in the garden quite loudly. Dad was a bit deaf and didn't go in the garden but it irritates me a lot when I am round there.

Fwiw, I thik you also need to remember that your NDN probably has been playing music like this for ages. You just didn't know about it - because you were in the office.

You've changed ther way you are working. Fair enough.

You can't then expect people to also adjust THEIR way of living to yours just because it works better for you.
Just like someone who is working shifts might ask their NDN if they could try and avoid music lets' say befopre 11.00am, you might ask for some HELP from your NDN. But asking them to just stop playing music or telling where they should put their speker is a tat controlling imo.

The differece for me is in the attitude: expectation vs asking for help and being appreciative of the ffort made.

@oneglassandpuzzled

People who play loud music in the garden are anti-social. They should use headphones.

Absolutely this!

If they are disturbing other people then they are the problem.

Just to reiterate. I'm not saying they shouldn't play music in their garden - I'm saying they shouldn't play loud music next to the boundary fence. So loud it's being picked up by my microphone. Either turn the volume down or move the speaker closer to your house.

Also, I have worked from home for 20 years, besides different neighbours, and never complained. I totally get you can't expect absolute silence (see point above) and that's not what I'm asking for.

And, again, even if I did use headphones, what would I do when I am not on a conf call? Keep the headphones on with white noise playing????

@MyriadeOfThings

Fwiw, I thik you also need to remember that your NDN probably has been playing music like this for ages. You just didn't know about it - because you were in the office.

You've changed ther way you are working. Fair enough.

You can't then expect people to also adjust THEIR way of living to yours just because it works better for you.
Just like someone who is working shifts might ask their NDN if they could try and avoid music lets' say befopre 11.00am, you might ask for some HELP from your NDN. But asking them to just stop playing music or telling where they should put their speker is a tat controlling imo.

The differece for me is in the attitude: expectation vs asking for help and being appreciative of the ffort made.

I have been working FT from home for nearly 20 years.

It’s really not anti-social to enjoy your own outside space though

Of course it is, as you are effectively stopping others from enjoying their outside space.

Yes anti-social and incredibly selfish.

@JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush love your username, might change mine then as have a unhealthy crush with Kalvin Phillips!

It is not a case of one person being totally right and the other person being totally wrong, both sides are being at least a little bit unreasonable.

The neighbours are not unreasonable to want to enjoy their garden without listening to the OPs work calls, they are unreasonable to play music at high volume.

The OP is not unreasonable to want to work from home without music blaring but they are unreasonable to make zero steps - closing the doors, using headphones/mic, moving to a different room or even properly attempting to speak with the neighbours to agree a compromise - to minimise the impact of the noise.

At the end of the day the OP is WFH but the neighbours are trying to enjoy their home - they can't move their enjoyment of their garden elsewhere but the OP can move their work out of their residence - to an office/co-working space etc

And, again, even if I did use headphones, what would I do when I am not on a conf call? Keep the headphones on with white noise playing????

that's entirely your choice ...

When I used to work in an office I could not deal with office noise so I wore headphones all the time - if I wasn't making calls then I would usually either play my music or white noise but sometimes I would play nothing and just use them to cancel out the noise

They've started singing along now... :-(

On a different note - you can't hear me when I'm on a call because I'm still INSIDE my office. I've tried. WHereas I guess it's because the speaker noise is not obstructed by walls, it travels freely. I don't know but we've checked and you can't hear me if you're standing by the fence when I'm talking in my office on a call.

As for working from a different room: I have loads of paperwork and other stuff I need to access all the time while on calls - it's just not feasible to move everything to the living room for every call.

OP, if your neighbours are as unreasonable as you say and won’t compromise, your only option is to block the techno music you hate with music you do like. Maybe try a genre that will be an anathema to them.
Dean Martin, Andy Williams, Celine Dion, on a loop.Point the speaker in their direction.
People are so unaware or couldn’t care less about others sometimes.

@Aqua55

I'm probably that neighbour playing music, but I don't really care if it causes a problem these days. Pre pandemic, I would have been more considerate, but not now.

But why would you play loud music so everyone else can hear it? If you want music why not play it quieter, or use headphones?

I don't understand what the pandemic has to do with common courtesy, or rather lack of it?

Surely using a microphone doesn't help, as it will pick up the other loud noise such as the music and the other person on the call will be hearing it anyway.

People have suggested loads of options and you've just said no to all of them.

So not sure what else you expect anyone else to do about it? You'll just have to wait until the music goes off, then knock on the door and explain.

If I got on with my neighbours and thought they were reasonable people, I'd ask them to move the speaker or turn it down, I think a polite request is OK. But from your first post it doesn't sound like they would be reasonable, so I don't think you've got much choice but to either ignore it or adjust your working environment. Ultimately they'd be doing you a favour if they did amend their behaviour to accommodate your work. Yes they're annoying, and inconsiderate if it's all the time, but unfortunately there's no law against that kind of activity in private gardens. If your home environment is no longer a suitable working environment because of them, you would just need to adjust your working environment. Move to a different part of the house or use a shared work space. It may not be want you want to do, but your neighbours are under no obligation to accommodate your WFH needs.

The reality is that we can't control other peoples behaviour. Depending on the sort of people they are they will likely apologise and move the speaker or play it louder to annoy more. All you can do is to try and make your life better.

So drop a note through the door explaining how it's affecting you, move your workspace or use headphones. Only you can solve your problem because you have no control over what they do next.

Home is home, where families all around you will be living their daily life. It is unreasonable to expect them not to enjoy themselves and play music because you’ve decided to make your home your work too.

Loud music isn't OK whether neighbours are working or not, though. It's antisocial.

@Immaculatemisconception

It’s really not anti-social to enjoy your own outside space though

Of course it is, as you are effectively stopping others from enjoying their outside space.

Yes anti-social and incredibly selfish.

So why shouldn’t people be able to enjoy their outside space as they see fit because some people like quiet?!

There will never be a win for this. If you don’t want any neighbourly noise, move to the middle of a field - it really is the only solution. We have no control over the actions of others.

I have no children and no animals (my choice) but of course children and animal noise is deemed that it has to automatically be acceptable. Well people choose to have children and to have animals, I choose to play music in my own garden at a reasonable level. Luckily I live in an area where people are not within densely populated streets/estates and expect silence outside…

It sounds pretty awful. I had the radio on yesterday at the weekend in the kitchen which could be heard in the garden but not blasting.

They sound very inconsiderate

Shazam the song and play it on your speaker but out of time, that'll piss them off

Yabu, it's normal daytime hours and they have as much right to enjoy their garden. Ditto those moaning about kids making noise. If you don't like it then you need to pay for office space in a non residential setting.

The idea of a note through the door is good but I fear they would turn the volume up, out of spite. The neighbour who told me that my NDN went to anger-manager classes did tell me that my NDN had issues with several other neighbours. They already throw grass leaf cuttings into our garden (not all of it - just handfuls. At first we were wondering what it was and whether it was birds or something. Then we realised it's the neighbours) - we really wouldn't want them doing anything else out of spite.

@HeronLanyon

I don’t think anyone should play music in a garden so neighbours can hear it. Unless it’s a party and neighbours are invited or warned. Think it’s really antisocial/thoughtless. Hope you sort it out op.

Totally agree with this. You are going to have to say something to them op or this will carry on all Summer. Our neighbours started playing heavy metal music yesterday at top volume. I shouted over asking them to turn it down and they did luckily but we couldn’t enjoy our own garden with that racket going on.