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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my neighbour is wrong to play music in the garden?

160 replies

InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest · 19/07/2021 11:21

I work from home (always, not just a few days a week or because of Covid) and my office opens onto my garden. The section of garden it opens onto is about three metres or so from the boundary fence that separates our garden from our neighbours'.

This neighbour (who we don't have the best relationship with for a number of reasons - but I should say he's attended anger management courses in the past and other neighbours warned us about him in the past) built some kind of permanent gazebo attached to the fence (which also takes light away from our living room but it's been there for longer than we could now report it so it's there to stay) and given they are a retired couple, they spend most of their days sitting there, smoking and playing music. When their grandchildren come over to use the temporary pool, it's constant shrieking (and throwing stuff into our garden!).

We usually don't say anything but today they have started playing some sort of techno music so loud that the people on my conf calls can hear it through my laptop microphone (I have the door open because of the heat).

I tried to call out 'hello? hello?' in a 'friendly voice' but nobody answered. So they either left the music going and left the garden, or just don't care at all. I am getting more and more annoyed at the fact that I might end up having to close the door because of their music, especially in this heat.

AIBU to think they should be more considerate? That when they built that structure attached to the boundary fence they should have realised they couldn't use it as if it where further from our garden?

And, more importantly, how can I get them to stop playing loud music? Thank you!

OP posts:
Crepescular · 19/07/2021 12:28

@Bluntness100

I work from nome and use over ear headphones. Yoire saying no to everything. You have many options here.
But why can't her neighbour just have some consideration and play their music more quietly? What's wrong with that? Why do they have to have their music so loud that it becomes an anti-social noise nuisance?

All of you pointing the finger at the OP don't seem willing to address the fundamental questions here: why does this music have to be played so loudly? Why and how does the neighbours right to play music so loudly trump the OP's right to work and have some peace and quiet?

pleasedonttextmyman · 19/07/2021 12:30

I don't think it even matters that you are working.

It is antisocial, inconsiderate and rude to make yourself such a nuisance. No one needs to listen to music that loud.

If neighbours can hear you, you are too loud! When people decide to live in a residential area, they implicitly accept to keep their noise down for other people. If you want to be loud, move in the middle of nowhere.

Neondisco · 19/07/2021 12:32

I don't think playing music outside is OK. So yanbu

Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 12:35

If neighbours can hear you, you are too loud!

Depends on your garden. Ours is separated from next door by a six foot wall, we can both hear conversations at a normal volume quite clearly. It’s what happens when you live close to other people.

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:35

YANBU @InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest and this sounds dreadful.

And using headphones is always the stock response from some on here, like it's a magical sure for everything! And using a microphone will make sod all difference, as the people you're speaking to will hear everything! Confused Daft.

I don't think you have any option other than to move sorry.

Onairjunkie · 19/07/2021 12:36

@InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest

Headphones make you really hot in this weather though... (I can't use in-ear ones unfortunately). But any other time of year that would be a good solution, thank you.
Make sure the headphones are open back and you’ll be fine.
JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:36

magical CURE, not sure! Hmm

Whyo · 19/07/2021 12:36

OP thankfully no you don’t need to just “put up” - loud music disturbing the enjoyment of your home (if it is indeed loud and persistent) is a statutory nuisance. Your local authorities’ environmental protection agency can investigate and put a stop (however obviously it’s better and easier to speak with the neighbours first)!

While you can’t get in touch with them today perhaps approach them this evening. They may well not even realise how bad it is.

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:38

@TheQueef

No one thinks it's ok Crepe I had to work at 3am to get my hours in just in case ndn is noisy. Turns out I was right ndn is still entrenched in a three hour 'discussion' with little Terry who doesn't want any pants today. She has to work so do i. It disturbs me so it's me that adapts.
Why? Why is it YOU that adapts? Confused
Outbutnotoutout · 19/07/2021 12:38

I was going to say YABU because you can't tell people not to go about their daily business, just because you WFH.

However loud music is inconsiderate and not very neighbourly

Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 12:40

Why? Why is it YOU that adapts?

She literally just said why - i. It disturbs me so it's me that adapts

Natty13 · 19/07/2021 12:40

Perhaps they've positioned the speaker where it is to block the noise of your work calls?! One of my neighbours had a lot of work calls in their garden/in a room with the door and window open with no headset last summer so I got to hear all their business dealings. I never, ever listen to music but you better believe I put some on as I'd rather listen to it in my garden than the neighbours' business strategy.

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:41

But why can't her neighbour just have some consideration and play their music more quietly? What's wrong with that? Why do they have to have their music so loud that it becomes an anti-social noise nuisance?

All of you pointing the finger at the OP don't seem willing to address the fundamental questions here: why does this music have to be played so loudly? Why and how does the neighbours right to play music so loudly trump the OP's right to work and have some peace and quiet?

Exactly this. ^

I would hate to live next door to some of the posters on here.

Also, it makes me laugh on this type of thread, when some posters say 'why don't you move into the middle of a field if you want peace and quiet?' The noisy feckers are the ones who need to move into the middle of a field. QUIET people aren't affecting other people around them, NOISY people are!

Nanny0gg · 19/07/2021 12:41

Sorry, loud techno music played in the garden is anti-social

So would loud Mozart be (though at least, melodic)

That can't be compared to the sound of children playing which is perfectly reasonable (though constant shrieking is not)

I'd hate it whether working or not.
Don't inflict your choices on other people

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:41

@Blossomtoes

Why? Why is it YOU that adapts?

She literally just said why - i. It disturbs me so it's me that adapts

Why should she HAVE to?!
Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 12:42

Why should she HAVE to?!

Because she’s chosen to. Are you always this obtuse?

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:43

Why are the people who are behaving well/not being anti social, always the ones who have to ADAPT? Confused

Such bullshit.

@InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest Contact the council about these awful neighbours. Fuck wearing headphones. This is not normal, acceptable noise and the apologists on here bloody well know it.

noirchatsdeux · 19/07/2021 12:44

I feel your pain. The wanker who lives downstairs at the bottom corner of our L shaped block of flats started sawing, drilling and hammering in the communal garden...at 7am! He also sets up both a tent and swimming pool in the garden for his granddaughter who then spends the whole day screeching...right below my living/bedroom windows. Add in the radio with Boomer radio on high volume and the noise pollution is incredible. I've no choice but to have all my windows on that side of the flat shut all day. The person I feel most sorry for though is my neighbour on my floor who works nights...

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:44

@Blossomtoes

Why should she HAVE to?!

Because she’s chosen to. Are you always this obtuse?

No, are you?

I am saying WHY should the people who are quiet/well behaved ALWAYS be the ones who have to ADAPT?

No joined up thinking from you. Are you awake dear?

newnortherner111 · 19/07/2021 12:45

Given the anger management issues you describe, call the council about the noise. Or the police if the smoking is not tobacco.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 12:46

Why should she HAVE to?!

Because she's a sensible adult and aware that only she can guarantee a positive outcome?

I mean she could spend all day bumping her gums on Mumsnet but what would that change?

Toaste · 19/07/2021 12:46

The neighbours can do what they want on their land - if you are so in need of a quiet space why dont you relocate your office? Surely you could move to another room for conference calls and the like if this really is a problem. Or just accept it

Alternatively get an office at another location - I presume you are running a business from home to save money on office costs. Maybe if you want a quiet environment you should work in an office block where other people are working not a residential area? Just a thought?

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:47

@WorraLiberty

Why should she HAVE to?!

Because she's a sensible adult and aware that only she can guarantee a positive outcome?

I mean she could spend all day bumping her gums on Mumsnet but what would that change?

Someone else with no joined up thinking. Confused

I think a few of you on here have not woken up yet!

JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush · 19/07/2021 12:49

@Toaste

The neighbours can do what they want on their land - if you are so in need of a quiet space why dont you relocate your office? Surely you could move to another room for conference calls and the like if this really is a problem. Or just accept it

Alternatively get an office at another location - I presume you are running a business from home to save money on office costs. Maybe if you want a quiet environment you should work in an office block where other people are working not a residential area? Just a thought?

Supremely unhelpful.

There really are some ludicrous comments on here today.

@InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest As I said, just call the council and report your neighbour.

I'm out. Can't deal with the anti social neighbour apologists on here.

Thing is, I don't believe what they say anyway, and strongly believe they would never put up with it themselves. Ignore them. YANBU to be pissed off.

WeAllHaveWings · 19/07/2021 12:53

Making noise when enjoying your garden, talking/children playing is all part and parcel of living close together.

Playing music in your garden is antisocial and inconsiderate. If anyone wants to hear music while outside they should use headphones.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it other than ask and/or put up with those that are inconsiderate.

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