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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my neighbour is wrong to play music in the garden?

160 replies

InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest · 19/07/2021 11:21

I work from home (always, not just a few days a week or because of Covid) and my office opens onto my garden. The section of garden it opens onto is about three metres or so from the boundary fence that separates our garden from our neighbours'.

This neighbour (who we don't have the best relationship with for a number of reasons - but I should say he's attended anger management courses in the past and other neighbours warned us about him in the past) built some kind of permanent gazebo attached to the fence (which also takes light away from our living room but it's been there for longer than we could now report it so it's there to stay) and given they are a retired couple, they spend most of their days sitting there, smoking and playing music. When their grandchildren come over to use the temporary pool, it's constant shrieking (and throwing stuff into our garden!).

We usually don't say anything but today they have started playing some sort of techno music so loud that the people on my conf calls can hear it through my laptop microphone (I have the door open because of the heat).

I tried to call out 'hello? hello?' in a 'friendly voice' but nobody answered. So they either left the music going and left the garden, or just don't care at all. I am getting more and more annoyed at the fact that I might end up having to close the door because of their music, especially in this heat.

AIBU to think they should be more considerate? That when they built that structure attached to the boundary fence they should have realised they couldn't use it as if it where further from our garden?

And, more importantly, how can I get them to stop playing loud music? Thank you!

OP posts:
LadyPoison · 19/07/2021 12:07

I find outdoor music very anti social.

I'm currently having to listen to inane childish drivel interspaced with some dire "music" from the radio being used by the builders next door. We had it all weekend from them too.

pinkcircustop · 19/07/2021 12:09

I'm the boss - and I don't want to go to an office. I also don't expect total silence from my neighbours - but maybe move the speaker away from the fence...

Well if you don’t want to go into the office you’re just going to have to put up with it.

Twoforthree · 19/07/2021 12:10

Music would drive me up the wall, especially if you only get to hear the thump of the bass.
Fortunately everyone here is considerate. Children have to play, music doesn’t have to be played.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2021 12:12

@pinkcircustop

I'm the boss - and I don't want to go to an office. I also don't expect total silence from my neighbours - but maybe move the speaker away from the fence...

Well if you don’t want to go into the office you’re just going to have to put up with it.

Or you know, perhaps knock at the door instead of complaining on Mumsnet Wink
MurielSpriggs · 19/07/2021 12:14

Ask them nicely to turn it down. That's it!

All other solutions involve you making changes. If it was me I'd move my office to the other side of the house. You can never guarantee or expect people to be quiet in their own gardens.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 19/07/2021 12:16

I'm the boss - and I don't want to go to an office. I also don't expect total silence from my neighbours - but maybe move the speaker away from the fence...
Communicate that with them then. It’s mind boggling how people with no social intelligence can end up in management positions.

Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 12:17

@WorraLiberty

Why should she!

Because that's the only guaranteed way to solve this?

And because she’s the one with the problem!
MissJeanBrodiesprime · 19/07/2021 12:17

@oneglassandpuzzled

People who play loud music in the garden are anti-social. They should use headphones.
Agree.
Tabitha005 · 19/07/2021 12:17

@pinkcircustop

I'm the boss - and I don't want to go to an office. I also don't expect total silence from my neighbours - but maybe move the speaker away from the fence...

Well if you don’t want to go into the office you’re just going to have to put up with it.

Why should she? If one of my neighbours told me my music (or any other sort of noise coming from my house) was bothering them, I'd assess my behaviour find a solution, because living next door to someone to whom you're causing distress or annoyance can make life very miserable for all parties.

'Putting up with it' can make an already noisy neighbour even more inclined to make even more noise.

I wouldn't even use the 'I'm trying to work' route. I'd just ask for it to be turned down and/or moved away from the fence/angled back towards their own house without giving any sort of qualifying 'reason'. Noise can be a nuisance in its own right, not just because it's preventing someone from concentrating on their work.

isitjustlockdown · 19/07/2021 12:18

An office backing onto a garden, in a built up area, is never going to be a good idea in terms of noise.

I would suggest moving your office to another room of the house if headphones are really too much to bear.

Crepescular · 19/07/2021 12:20

Who do large sections of society have to play their music so fucking loud? It's not a fucking right and it's fucking anti-social and selfish.

And I'm sure all you people saying the original poster is being unreasonable for not wanting loud, repetitive music destroying her peace and quiet would (a) not be so amenable if it was causing you distress or difficulty, like if you had a sick child or something and (b) are the kind of fuckwit who bleat 'be kind' all the time, without reflecting on the fact that being kind goes both ways and everyone deserves consideration - even if you don't like it.

There's no fucking need to have music on all the time and there's certainly no need to have on in a way that causes other people problems. Why not 'be kind' to them?

BootsScootsAndToots · 19/07/2021 12:21

When I lived in the UK this pissed me off EVERY summer Angry

My running not very funny joke to dh was how do you know it's a hot day in London? Every arsehole this side of the Thames is playing shit music loudly in their garden.

It might not have bothered me if it wasn't always shit music!

I'm back in Aus now, and thankfully able to enjoy summer in my garden without that bollocks.

Sometimes when we're eating dinner outside dh will put Spotify on his phone and he gets the death stare until it's suitable turned down so only us 4 around the table can barely hear it.

puffyisgood · 19/07/2021 12:21

Some music, played at sensible volumes, at sensible times, is NBU.

Incessant, deafening, music IBU.

Home working is a bit of a game changer because it's changed many people's idea of what constitutes 'sensible times'. e.g. a neighbour's small back garden backs onto a school playground, you [unsurprisingly] get a right old racket from it during playtimes, she never much cared because she was out at work all day, now it's an issue.

Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 12:22

Blimey, someone got out of bed the wrong side @Crepescular.

Crepescular · 19/07/2021 12:22

Blossomtoes, no. Her neighbour is the one with the problem - they're selfish and self-centred. As are you if you think this kind of behaviour is OK.

Crepescular · 19/07/2021 12:23

@Blossomtoes

Blimey, someone got out of bed the wrong side *@Crepescular*.
Yeah, after fuck-all sleep because my neighbours apparently think it's OK to play deafening techno until 3.00 am. Which you apparently think is OK.

Twats.

InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest · 19/07/2021 12:25

I have tried to call out to them but they ignored me. I didn't come here as a first option, to those who didn't bother reading the OP and assuming I was asking here before trying to contact my neighbour. If I knocked on their door they wouldn't hear it because they are at the far end of the garden, away from the house (they have a massive garden).

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/07/2021 12:25

I work from nome and use over ear headphones. Yoire saying no to everything. You have many options here.

Aqua55 · 19/07/2021 12:25

I'm probably that neighbour playing music, but I don't really care if it causes a problem these days. Pre pandemic, I would have been more considerate, but not now.

Bluntness100 · 19/07/2021 12:26

@Aqua55

I'm probably that neighbour playing music, but I don't really care if it causes a problem these days. Pre pandemic, I would have been more considerate, but not now.
What? Why?
Nsky · 19/07/2021 12:27

Exactly, why are the wfh lot, making it seem like everyone else is a pain, learn to cope!
A recent issue, nor do others wish to hear you!
Esp the recently retired

godmum56 · 19/07/2021 12:27

complain to your council if its noise nuisance. You will need to keep a diary and maybe do recordings.

LakieLady · 19/07/2021 12:27

@SissySpacekAteMyHamster

You could also just stick some music on in your garden snd see how they like it. Petty yes, but might make them realise how shit it is to have to listen to demesne else's tastes.
Yes, some nice opera tends to go down well with techno fans. Grin
Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 12:28

Yeah, after fuck-all sleep because my neighbours apparently think it's OK to play deafening techno until 3.00 am. Which you apparently think is OK

Of course it’s not OK at 3am. It’s lunch time now. Completely different.

TheQueef · 19/07/2021 12:28

No one thinks it's ok Crepe
I had to work at 3am to get my hours in just in case ndn is noisy.
Turns out I was right ndn is still entrenched in a three hour 'discussion' with little Terry who doesn't want any pants today.
She has to work so do i. It disturbs me so it's me that adapts.