To think my neighbour is wrong to play music in the garden?

[InTheNameOfAllThatIsHonest]

I work from home (always, not just a few days a week or because of Covid) and my office opens onto my garden. The section of garden it opens onto is about three metres or so from the boundary fence that separates our garden from our neighbours'.

This neighbour (who we don't have the best relationship with for a number of reasons - but I should say he's attended anger management courses in the past and other neighbours warned us about him in the past) built some kind of permanent gazebo attached to the fence (which also takes light away from our living room but it's been there for longer than we could now report it so it's there to stay) and given they are a retired couple, they spend most of their days sitting there, smoking and playing music. When their grandchildren come over to use the temporary pool, it's constant shrieking (and throwing stuff into our garden!).

We usually don't say anything but today they have started playing some sort of techno music so loud that the people on my conf calls can hear it through my laptop microphone (I have the door open because of the heat).

I tried to call out 'hello? hello?' in a 'friendly voice' but nobody answered. So they either left the music going and left the garden, or just don't care at all. I am getting more and more annoyed at the fact that I might end up having to close the door because of their music, especially in this heat.

AIBU to think they should be more considerate? That when they built that structure attached to the boundary fence they should have realised they couldn't use it as if it where further from our garden?

And, more importantly, how can I get them to stop playing loud music? Thank you!

People shouldn’t play music in their garden full stop. It ruins the peace for everyone else around them. It’s incredibly selfish and ignorant.

Playing loud music in the garden is incredibly anti social

There’s no need for anyone to play music in their garden, ever. It’s noise pollution in any context and it’s not comparable to chatting or child noise. The people who does this are the ones who need to realise they have neighbours, not the other way round.

@puffyisgood

Some music, played at sensible volumes, at sensible times, is NBU.

Incessant, deafening, music IBU.

Home working is a bit of a game changer because it's changed many people's idea of what constitutes 'sensible times'. e.g. a neighbour's small back garden backs onto a school playground, you [unsurprisingly] get a right old racket from it during playtimes, she never much cared because she was out at work all day, now it's an issue.

I work from home and this doesn’t bother me as I know it will stop at a certain time. My garden backs onto a nursery, and the primary school is behind that. I can hear the children playing at break times and sometimes I can hear the nursery children singing songs with their teacher and it makes me smile.

It’s the knob heads that think it’s acceptable to inflict their shite taste in music on the rest of the street that piss me off. Yeah it’s your garden, but it’s extremely anti social to force your noise onto other people trying to enjoy their gardens or want to have their windows open. Children playing etc is fine, that’s to be expected. Music? No, there should be a law that bans this if you ask me. Absolutely no need for it.

My neighbour plays music in her garden every afternoon too. It's really annoying and I can't work downstairs because of it, so I get how irritating you find it.

But I think you have to suck it up unfortunately. I actually think it's really selfish to inflict your music on everyone else, but I suspect my neighbours find my dogs and my children pretty irritating too.

This would drive me crackers, OP. I hate to hear music from other people's gardens when I am trying to have a quiet half-hour with a book and glass of wine. I think it is very selfish to inflict your taste in music on others. It beats me why some people have to have music wherever they go - at home, in the garden, in the car, walking down the road, in shops!

I know the limit of my capability JG
I can't control others but I am in control of my own actions.
I hate my job already so if I can avoid extra stress I do.
Getting wound up over something you can't control is just a waste of energy.

Sure some threads are just people having a chimf and a grumble, understandable but the reality is you can't control what others do.

It’s really not anti-social to enjoy your own outside space though… even more so during the daytime. It is if by doing so you stop someone else enjoying their outdoor space

I would ban the playing of music in gardens. I would not subject my neighbours to my taste in music. Pity that many people don't seem to feel the same. I think it's pure selfishness to inflict your music on others. We all live too close together nowadays to do this.

I think some people are so used to live with noise, they can't even comprehend that not everybody is the same.

Some people live with the tv on permanently, just for the background sound, and add loud music on top. They have forgotten how to keep their voices down, and being basically civilised.

It's awful when you are stuck next to them.

For 3 weeks they were digging the road outside my house with noisy machinery 8am until 4pm. I wfh and I couldn’t hear myself think. I ended up wearing headphones and playing storm sounds on YouTube to drown them out! It is what it is. No one can expect silence when wfh. I hate loud music too but it is the day time. You can report them but it’s unlikely to help, that’s the harsh reality. People who are selfish in the first place rarely back down in these scenarios.

There seems to be a few things in play here. On the one hand you appear to live in a built up area yet expect to work from home permanently and not use any other venue, have your door open, not wear headphones and also not be disturbed. Your neighbours, on the other hand, seem to think it's OK to play loud music right by your fence. Would it be possible to ask them to move further down their garden and turn it down a bit? Personally, I hate it when people play music in their gardens near me, so I sympathise on that level, but I do think your expectations are a bit much in high summer.

For 3 weeks they were digging the road outside my house with noisy machinery 8am until 4pm.

3 weeks? bloody hell, how wide is your road!

You cannot reasonably compare essential work and antisocial behaviours.

@Toaste

The neighbours can do what they want on their land - if you are so in need of a quiet space why dont you relocate your office? Surely you could move to another room for conference calls and the like if this really is a problem. Or just accept it

Alternatively get an office at another location - I presume you are running a business from home to save money on office costs. Maybe if you want a quiet environment you should work in an office block where other people are working not a residential area? Just a thought?

No they can't.

There are laws and regulations. And there will be one regarding noise nuisance

@Meruem

For 3 weeks they were digging the road outside my house with noisy machinery 8am until 4pm. I wfh and I couldn’t hear myself think. I ended up wearing headphones and playing storm sounds on YouTube to drown them out! It is what it is. No one can expect silence when wfh. I hate loud music too but it is the day time. You can report them but it’s unlikely to help, that’s the harsh reality. People who are selfish in the first place rarely back down in these scenarios.

That was for three weeks and presumably necessary.

Not the same thing

If the speaker is next to the fence, then water the plants you have "next to the fence".

I personally hate it when people play music in their garden - unless it's a "special occasion" like a birthday or something. Why cant THEY wear headphones?? Why should we all be subjected to their choice of music. I realise I'm a grumpy old woman though, So OP I totally 'get you', but fwiw I think the majority on here will tell you to just suck it up. Grrrrrrrr.

It’s really not anti-social to enjoy your own outside space though…
If “enjoying” your outside space includes polluting mine with your shit music it is.

@pleasedonttextmyman

I think some people are so used to live with noise, they can't even comprehend that not everybody is the same.

Some people live with the tv on permanently, just for the background sound, and add loud music on top. They have forgotten how to keep their voices down, and being basically civilised.

It's awful when you are stuck next to them.

This

I hate it when people play it at full volume. That's the most annoying. If it is at a reasonable level then that's fine. Of course people can enjoy themselves in the gardens but people do need to be considerate of others. Just like if you were speaking loud on your work calls then I'd hope you'd also tone it down a bit.

It's annoying but it's standard amongst most people I know to use headphones with a noise reduction mic exactly because of the issue of noise when WFH.

I wfh and have done for years also and while your neighbours are inconsiderate I agree, neighbours shouldn't - within reason - have to adjust their lives for you.

Yabu, headphones do not make you hot, put them on, why you think he should be considerate because you are working? It's his home, it's not late.

I love it when ppl have ndn noise issues and the common response is to get headphones or earplugs

That's skirting around the issue and not tackling it

It's like having a really aggressive dog and just putting a muzzle on it. The aggression will still be there

OP, I think their door needs knocking

YANBU at all but very sadly and very predictably it's not a widespread view that you shouldn't disturb the neighbours with your music.

Generally the rule is if the noise is unnecessary and loud enough for people not on your land to hear then it is excessive. All the "get noise-cancelling" headphones advice is nonsense - rather than have a ridiculous situation where dozens of neighbours might need to put on their headphones, the person creating the noise should be wearing them. Apart from anything else music sounds better with headphones on.

The trouble is there is no point even asking the neighbour to turn it down. Reasonable people know they don't want to be a cunt to their neighbours and therefore don't blare music out.

There are many many threads around those lines atm.

I think many people who wfh are sudddenly realising its all that easy and comes with its own set of problems.

Imo, a house is a house, not an office. You cant ask your NDN to not play music in his garden because you are working.
If it was blarring at full volume, then you might have a point. Just playing music? Nope.
Same with children playing on a trampoline etc etc....