Naked children in courtyard cafés

[bibblybop]

Today DH and I took DS to a local beauty spot. Like a National Trust but not actually NT if you get me? Beautiful gardens, old mansion, gorgeous.

We were having a bite to eat in the courtyard cafe near a family with several young children running around. Fine. Except the youngest little girl (roughly 3yo) was running around completely naked.

I'm not a prude, and I'm very sympathetic to parents as I know from experience that kids can be unruly/unreasonable and sometimes decorum has to come second to a child's need (i'm thinking public wees in an emergency kind of scenarios here...)

But I feel like allowing your child to run around completely naked in an outdoor café is a bit much? People are there trying to enjoy their lunch while a little girl is romping around everyone's tables with no clothes on... I know it's hot but it's a cafe FGS

I'd love to know people's thoughts on this because I feel like I'm missing something 🙈😂 Surely they can't think that's acceptable? Or is it?!

@pigglepot

I really don't get what the problem is other than the possibility of poo and wee accidents. Anything else e.g you being "put off" lunch says more about you than about the child or the family. I genuinely can't imagine why someone would be put off food by the sight of a tiny naked body and can't think of another reason why they need to cover up (other than than the risk of accidents mentioned above which is why I would always want a nappy on my little one).

Because basically there’s no need for a child to be naked in that Cafe.

There is no need for about 99% of our life experiences, doesn't make them wrong!

No need for the cafe to exist in the first place

No need for the cagee to offer more than one sandwich filling

No need for a 3 year old to wear any clothes on a hot day

Need is nothing to do with it. If you don't like it, fine, but bringing an arbitrary measure of need into it makes your point redundant

I would never let my child do this. And this is my DS who the minute he got home stripped off!

It is not appropriate. At that age a child can sit and eat. My DF had a no pants no dinner rule!

I'd not let my own child do that (mainly because of sunburn and perverts), but I'd not bat an eyelid at someone else's child running round naked.

It wouldn't put me off my dinner because I'd be focusing on my food, as I'm wont to do.

Because basically there’s no need for a child to be naked in that Cafe well theres no need for you to be in the cafe either so why does your WANT beat her WANT

@bibblybop

Completely not ok
Why do people think it would be?

Did you mention to the cafe owners?

I don't want to eat a meal with small children running around. Even at 3 they can learn to sit quietly and respect other people. It's dangerous for the child and adults. Hot drinks, child tripping people up. And I agree, it's not an appropriate place for a child to be naked - for the child's sake as has been pointed out.

YANBU. I wouldn't be happy to have a clothed child running around my table, tbh. I'd be even less pleased to see a naked child running around.

Just underwear or a nappy would be a huge improvement, or while we're at it, throw on a comfortable top or sundress. It seems like little to ask, in a public place where other people have paid to sit and eat or drink. If I had a child who refused clothes, I'd avoid cafes until they were a bit older.

@Greenmarmalade

because by climbing about she is displaying more than she ought to in front of people trying to enjoy their lunch

This is so horrible and mean. She’s a toddler.

She is a toddler. Toddlers will get hurt if the climb around in cafes where people carry food & drinks and trip someone up.

Not everyone wants someone else's toddler climbing around them.

The people she's showing her genitals to aren't toddlers. They're grown assed adults with camera phones and potentially weird tendencies.

Enough there to cover off why it's not a good idea to let a toddler run around naked in a cafe.
More reasons than "we must indulge our toddler's whims at all costs".

For me, I like to be consistent in my message to toddlers. 'No dear, we don't take our clothes off, and go around waving our nappy, yelling yeehaa, outside of the garden gate', was definitely one I lived by. . .

[quote Justa47]@bibblybop

Completely not ok
Why do people think it would be?

Did you mention to the cafe owners?[/quote]

No I didn't, mostly because I couldn't decide if I WBU or not. As PPs have said, she's not technically doing any harm. But it still sparked the conversation with DH and I over whether or not that behaviour is acceptable (we're FT parents).

I would never ever allow it with my own son (who I would guess is marginally younger than this girl) for a multitude of reasons, most which have been raised here, but I didn't know whether that was me being uppity and it's actually quite common to let children run around and climb over furniture wherever they want if it's hot out 🤷🏻

Having read this thread with interest I think if I were in this situation again I would say something. It seems bar a few people who are quite happy to eat their lunch faced with nudity, my feelings are well within the majority.

** run around naked

@ChittyChittyBangBangChicken

YANBU. I wouldn't be happy to have a clothed child running around my table, tbh. I'd be even less pleased to see a naked child running around.

Just underwear or a nappy would be a huge improvement, or while we're at it, throw on a comfortable top or sundress. It seems like little to ask, in a public place where other people have paid to sit and eat or drink. If I had a child who refused clothes, I'd avoid cafes until they were a bit older.

Completely agree.

@mbosnz

For me, I like to be consistent in my message to toddlers. 'No dear, we don't take our clothes off, and go around waving our nappy, yelling yeehaa, outside of the garden gate', was definitely one I lived by. . .

HAHAHAHA

I can't think of a good reason to say no. If it bothers someone else then that's their problem.

"If the behaviour of my children bothers someone else then that's their problem"

Exactly why things that are completely unacceptable and bad manners, like this, exist.

It's not "what children do.". It's what some children are allowed to do when their parents have no respect or consideration for either the surroundings they are in, or the other people there.