Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked children in courtyard cafés

290 replies

bibblybop · 18/07/2021 17:28

Today DH and I took DS to a local beauty spot. Like a National Trust but not actually NT if you get me? Beautiful gardens, old mansion, gorgeous.

We were having a bite to eat in the courtyard cafe near a family with several young children running around. Fine. Except the youngest little girl (roughly 3yo) was running around completely naked.

I'm not a prude, and I'm very sympathetic to parents as I know from experience that kids can be unruly/unreasonable and sometimes decorum has to come second to a child's need (i'm thinking public wees in an emergency kind of scenarios here...)

But I feel like allowing your child to run around completely naked in an outdoor café is a bit much? People are there trying to enjoy their lunch while a little girl is romping around everyone's tables with no clothes on... I know it's hot but it's a cafe FGS

I'd love to know people's thoughts on this because I feel like I'm missing something 🙈😂 Surely they can't think that's acceptable? Or is it?!

OP posts:
feb2022 · 20/07/2021 10:38

No I don't agree with letting children run about naked, I wouldn't even let mine run about naked on the beach, nappy on yeah that's fine, completely naked... just no!

Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 10:43

@comebacksunshines

Yes I suppose it is odd that someone's flailing genitalia might put me off my food. You're starting to sound quite strange now.

Why?

OP posts:
ancientgran · 20/07/2021 11:00

Yes I suppose it is odd that someone's flailing genitalia might put me off my food.

Do 3 year old girls have flailing genitalia? I think biology has changed since I had kids, I looked it up and the definition was wave or swing wildly. Really?

Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 11:13

@ancientgran

Yes I suppose it is odd that someone's flailing genitalia might put me off my food.

Do 3 year old girls have flailing genitalia? I think biology has changed since I had kids, I looked it up and the definition was wave or swing wildly. Really?

I mean I don't know why we want to go into the minutiae of this really Hmm

If the little girl is doing gymnastics then you could say her parts were flailing. They don't have to flail independent of the body to be classed as flailing if her whole body is doing cartwheels or jumping around?

But by all means let's have a debate on semantics rather than the actual point of the OP Hmm

OP posts:
ancientgran · 20/07/2021 12:22

I just thought it was an odd description, I mean a little girls genitalia doesn't wave or swing wildly even if she's doing cartwheels.

I don't think it adds to your point to use inaccurate or exaggerated descriptions.

Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 12:50

@ancientgran

I just thought it was an odd description, I mean a little girls genitalia doesn't wave or swing wildly even if she's doing cartwheels.

I don't think it adds to your point to use inaccurate or exaggerated descriptions.

I can use hyperbole when I'm being sarcastic, I don't think it detracts from the point at all. You know language can be used expressively and not always literally right?

If I were to say that I mowed someone down in my hurry to get somewhere, would you then come for me and say that was an incorrect use of the word because to 'mow' means to cut grass?

Plus if we're being really pedantic (as you seem to be) I'll just point out that I never said 'I don't want to see a little girl's flailing etc', I said 'someone's' because I was actually referring to general gymnastic nakedness, in light of this girl's exploits.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2021 12:55

They do if they're doing gymnastics, but you're missing the point... No, 3 year old girls dint have genitalia to flail

I agree with you but you've said kids shouldn't show their bums to strangers which surely is a direct consequence of a lack of clothes? So surely the lack of clothes is a problem here? Well you were talking about bending over and shoving bums in faces. That wouldn't be ok dressed or not. Running around so you might see it but can easily not stare is different

SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2021 13:01

So now the 3 yo is doing gymnastics around the cafe ... I mean im not sire the hyperbole is helping the arguement.

I'd be more worried about sunburn in this weather

Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 13:08

@SleepingStandingUp

So now the 3 yo is doing gymnastics around the cafe ... I mean im not sire the hyperbole is helping the arguement.

I'd be more worried about sunburn in this weather

You're wilfully missing the point.

I'm trying to point out to people who think that I'm offended by a naked little girl minding her own business with her family, that the little girl in question was in fact racing around naked, contorting, climbing etc in front of a courtyard full of people eating with all out for everyone to see.

I was also trying to make a point that regardless of age or gender, I don't want to see anyone romping around, pirouetting, doing the highland fling or whatever they deem to be good spirited hot weather fun while I'm eating my lunch.

You can be pedantic about the detail if you want but that only strengthens your case if I'd claimed my OP was a blow by blow of exactly what happened and I've started to change the facts rather than you taking comments out of context.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2021 13:13

But your post was about a 3 yo. People habe replied on that basis. And ive actually agreed with you about the climbing the art installations and all over the furniture although they shouldn't be doing that dressed either.

People big enough to flail their genitals at you are a different issue.

Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 13:21

@SleepingStandingUp

But your post was about a 3 yo. People habe replied on that basis. And ive actually agreed with you about the climbing the art installations and all over the furniture although they shouldn't be doing that dressed either.

People big enough to flail their genitals at you are a different issue.

One can make general sweeping statements like 'I wouldn't want to see anyone's bum when I'm eating' even on a thread about a 3yo you know. Quite a few PP have said it yet you haven't come for them with pitchforks Hmm

I do agree, the behaviour in itself is bad but I think the nudity made it worse because by climbing about she is displaying more than she ought to in front of people trying to enjoy their lunch.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2021 13:24

Well they're not the op, i can choose to not engage with them

I might give a pass to Chris Hemsworth, he can do naked gymnastics whilst o eat my lunch if he wants 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ancientgran · 20/07/2021 14:34

@SleepingStandingUp

So now the 3 yo is doing gymnastics around the cafe ... I mean im not sire the hyperbole is helping the arguement.

I'd be more worried about sunburn in this weather

That's the thing isn't it, it just confuses the whole issue, first of all she's running round naked, then she's running round climbing on things, then she's doing gymnastics, then she's in everyone's face, then she's flailing her genitalia. I'm not sure what she was doing now as it has all got a bit confusing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't flailing her genitalia though.
Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 14:55

That's the thing isn't it, it just confuses the whole issue, first of all she's running round naked, then she's running round climbing on things, then she's doing gymnastics, then she's in everyone's face, then she's flailing her genitalia. I'm not sure what she was doing now as it has all got a bit confusing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't flailing her genitalia though.

Unless you wanted to read a 10 page OP I kept it brief with running around naked and then elaborated that she was climbing on things to make the point that the nudity was explicit and not just a little bare bum. It was clear in the OP that she was being a nuisance.

I never said she was flailing her genitalia, I was being sarcastic when someone took umbrage with the fact that I (and most other posters tbh) have stated they don't want to look at naked people when eating.

The running, climbing and being in everyone's face is more or less the same point- it was a naked spectacle whilst people are having lunch. Hardly a massive plot twist so arguably not really a vastly different picture to the OP is it Hmm I'm not sure why you're so befuddled that you can't work out the story here.

As for the gymnastics, I've made it clear she's very young. So if you're genuinely confused as to whether or not she was actually doing flips and handstands I can't help you.

OP posts:
Greenmarmalade · 20/07/2021 15:03

because by climbing about she is displaying more than she ought to in front of people trying to enjoy their lunch

This is so horrible and mean. She’s a toddler.

Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 15:08

@Greenmarmalade

because by climbing about she is displaying more than she ought to in front of people trying to enjoy their lunch

This is so horrible and mean. She’s a toddler.

Yes it is, I didn't mean that to sound so callous. I just meant that there is a time and place for nudity and play and an outdoor café isn't one of them.

I had to be a little more specific (and thus sound horrible and mean) because some people aren't following that my issue isn't just with a little baby bum bobbing around in the background.

OP posts:
DottyHarmer · 20/07/2021 15:09

Those who see no problem, would you approve of running around naked in an indoor cafe? What about a “posher” restaurant? Frankly at any eatery I think you should SIT DOWN whether you’re naked or wearing an anorak and a woolly hat.

ancientgran · 20/07/2021 15:13

@bibblybop

That's the thing isn't it, it just confuses the whole issue, first of all she's running round naked, then she's running round climbing on things, then she's doing gymnastics, then she's in everyone's face, then she's flailing her genitalia. I'm not sure what she was doing now as it has all got a bit confusing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't flailing her genitalia though.

Unless you wanted to read a 10 page OP I kept it brief with running around naked and then elaborated that she was climbing on things to make the point that the nudity was explicit and not just a little bare bum. It was clear in the OP that she was being a nuisance.

I never said she was flailing her genitalia, I was being sarcastic when someone took umbrage with the fact that I (and most other posters tbh) have stated they don't want to look at naked people when eating.

The running, climbing and being in everyone's face is more or less the same point- it was a naked spectacle whilst people are having lunch. Hardly a massive plot twist so arguably not really a vastly different picture to the OP is it Hmm I'm not sure why you're so befuddled that you can't work out the story here.

As for the gymnastics, I've made it clear she's very young. So if you're genuinely confused as to whether or not she was actually doing flips and handstands I can't help you.

I think I'd rather have lunch with her running round even doing cartwheels, I do know a girl who could do them at 3 but her dad was an Olympic gymnast so possibly a bit of an outlier, than with you because you sound hard work.
ancientgran · 20/07/2021 15:14

@DottyHarmer

Those who see no problem, would you approve of running around naked in an indoor cafe? What about a “posher” restaurant? Frankly at any eatery I think you should SIT DOWN whether you’re naked or wearing an anorak and a woolly hat.
I said way back I'd feel more comfortable with it in an outdoor cafe than inside (posh or not) I see outdoors as more relaxed.
Original poster
bibblybop · 20/07/2021 15:16

I think I'd rather have lunch with her running round even doing cartwheels, I do know a girl who could do them at 3 but her dad was an Olympic gymnast so possibly a bit of an outlier, than with you because you sound hard work.

Excellent point. Enjoy.

OP posts:
Monoxide · 20/07/2021 15:23

You wouldn’t take your own clothes off in public. Your child deserves the same dignity and respect. Apart from anything else you don’t know who’s looking at them. There could be a pervert or paedophile present - do you want them looking at your naked child? And kids should be covered in the sun anyway.

transformandriseup · 20/07/2021 15:34

Not completely naked no. I did have to remove toddler's shorts at a cafe yesterday as she got them wet but put them back on once they were dry.

maddiemookins16mum · 20/07/2021 15:38

@MapGirlExtraordinaire

I'd find it cute tbh. My two have been naked in public many times, they want to and I can't think of a good reason to say no. If it bothers someone else then that's their problem.

Noise and running so close as to cause people aggravation I would put a stop to, but a 3 yr old's little naked bum? Nah, fine in my book.

Really? I don’t want to see naked wains as I munch on a cream slice thanks. Time and a place spring to mind, it’s not all about you and your kids.
Bringbackguitarsolos · 20/07/2021 15:41

Ffs, it's not 1972.

I don’t know why but laughed out loud at this.

Wondering why she’s naked tbh. She’d be cooler with a loose light dress on, sun on skin gets you so hot.

pigglepot · 20/07/2021 15:42

I really don't get what the problem is other than the possibility of poo and wee accidents. Anything else e.g you being "put off" lunch says more about you than about the child or the family. I genuinely can't imagine why someone would be put off food by the sight of a tiny naked body and can't think of another reason why they need to cover up (other than than the risk of accidents mentioned above which is why I would always want a nappy on my little one).