If your DH is now WFH, does he expect you to now make him lunch every day?

[mintginger]

Just wondering what people do really (particularly if you are SAH yourself).

YABU - yes, you should make him lunch.
YANBU - no, leave him to it and go out and about on your business.

Thanks!

Yes, there’s an expectation in our household that couples eat together. If I didn’t make lunch it could be two o’ clock before he thought of making anything.
In the autumn last year lunch did involve picking and cooking corn on the cob, and probably other home grown vegetables. I just resigned myself to an hour and twenty minutes for lunch every day. He cooked for me in the evening and did the shopping. I was wfh and he wasn’t working. No I don’t worry about his lunch if out.

DH worked from home for last 20 years. My mother is horrified I don't make his lunch...never have...

Just to add he doesn’t expect it and if the toddler and I wanted to do something different then we just would.

Bloody hello, no!

He can make his own lunch. Sometimes, if I have time on my hands and both DC are settled and/or napping over lunch, I might make something and ask if he'd like to join me for lunch, or if I pop to the shops to grab lunch I'll ask him if he wants something. But other than that, no way!

If I didn’t make lunch it could be two o’ clock before he thought of making anything

Which would be perfect for us, as if we have lunch it’s usually at around 3pm

I did😳….but now I’ve been ill for months and struggle to function let alone eat so he’s relearning to fend for himself…

@mintginger

Thankyou for the candid responses.

Can I also ask, if you are out in the day, do you feel like it’s your responsibility to leave something in the fridge? Or would you leave him and not think about it at all?

I'd leave him to it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do, but I make for the masses so it's six lunches not just one. Then everything gets cleared up at once. Job done.

But if I am out at an appointment he has to make his own. Or if he's running late to eat lunch I don't make him anything. That's up to him to sort out.

😂

Much more likely that DH makes me lunch, even when I was on maternity leave and he was wfh. Now we are both wfh and surprisingly are both capable of feeding ourselves.

My DP and I have just discussed this. Both been WFH since March 2019, in busy FT jobs.

We concluded that me not making him lunch was an expression of my love for him, and him not making me lunch was an expression of his disgust at my dietary habits.

Er, no. He's a grown man, he's capable of managing billions of pounds at work - of course he can handle making a sandwich/pizza/omelette

🙄 theres always one

DH made ME lunch when he was WFH.

Tbf tho, my twins were 4 months in April 2020

Interesting replies. I do make my DP lunch daily now he's WFH. He teaches online courses and so it's simpler for me to make his lunch so he has it when he goes on a break. It's usually a salad of some sort. This may also include a 'brunch' if he's on an early teach. The exception is if I'm not well (I have a chronic illness) when he's able to fend for himself, but I make it 95% of the time, I'd say. Before Covid, he worked away overseas quite often during the week, so this has been a bit more work for me, but it's been really nice having him home so I don't resent it.

I meant March 2020. Lawks, it's been a slow time!

Our roles are probably reversed. I’m WFH , he works split shifts and has days off in the week. He’s a chef, and I DON’T expect him to make my lunch.

For one thing he eats too late for me. Very occasionally we might eat together.

Both of us work from home (mostly). Answer is No. Sometimes I make it for both of us, sometimes he does, sometimes I just do it for myself and let him manage his own. Now it's holiday here in Scotland, whoever has less work to do around lunch time deals with the kids' lunch too. Nothing s "expected" and so far no one has ended up starving.

I usually make DH's lunch when I make my own. We're both 100% wfh at the moment. My job is fairly easy, his job isn't. I can faff about it I choose, he can't.

He cooks dinner more frequently than me and he also does nearly all of the food shopping. I fold laundry, he does gardening and bins. I think he does more than a fair share. If he didn't, I'd be less inclined to cook lunch. It's just kindness and looking out for each other

Nope. If I’m making lunch for me and the kids then I’ll make enough, but we don’t take his lunch into consideration for our plans for the day.
He also makes sure that at least once or twice a week he makes all the lunches (sometimes the night before so he can just heat it up) so I get a benefit to him being at home instead of just the downsides.

I’m in two minds about things like this and this is my problem. I don’t feel overly put-on in general as I have a cleaner in twice a week. But obviously, we are a family of 5 so there is mess in between and I keep on top of that, plus all laundry, beds, shopping, food planning and cooking. The house is over 5 floors and it’s tiring, especially as I think I may have some form of long Covid (but not sure). But to be fair, we do eat out at weekends mainly and the kids are fine. I used to have the days pretty much to myself admittedly, but now he’s around more and when he’s around he is quite demanding to be fair, although he doesn’t think he is at all. Sometimes he will give me lists of tasks and, on these occasions, I do feel like a PA because if the way he communicates. But he just thinks, “this is to be done, take this on board, prioritise this and thanks very much.”

It's not that black and white, sometimes we just do our own, sometimes he'll ask me if he can make me anything and sometimes I ask him if I can make him anything..

I think if you're a housewife it's your job.

What does he do about lunch when he is in the office?

Everyday my husband comes downstairs and says “is there any lunch.” It’s driving me mad. And yet I still make the bloody lunch.

We are both WFH, we struck a deal, I make lunch, he makes all the drinks all day. Seems fair to me