We’ve always done exactly what my parents (dad really) have wanted to do. When Dd was a baby, it also still sort of worked, she’d sit nicely in her buggy for long walks or at cafes whilst we chatted. Now, she wants to run around more and have fun! She wants to go to playgrounds now that they’re open
Why can’t you still do all the things your DD enjoys without involving grandparents every time? What’s stopping you or DH taking her to a playground or soft play for a couple of hours in the morning then all meet in a cafe for lunch? You said in a pp she sits nicely in restaurants.
If grandparents like long walks, and DD is active and full of energy as you say, does she not enjoy them too? Can she not run about and have fun on walks?
I don’t think you should stop taking DD to places she has fun, but nor should you expect the grandparents to tag along to very child-specific things... unless they want to. For adults (including many parents) these tend to be noisy, crowded, boring places that are only fun for the kid.
Or suppose DD wants to go to the zoo again and they don’t, why do you all have to go together?
I think comparing this to your sister’s situation will only bring resentment and bitterness. They live near her, so of course they were more involved with her kids. They would have been able to develop those bonds in their own time and offer support when they felt confident having her kids alone. And with them being almost teenagers their days of minding toddlers probably seem like an age ago.
They’re not obliged to offer you the same support. Or any support (although clearly they are if they’re watching her and doing bedtimes).
Maybe looking after your sister’s toddlers wasn’t the great joy you perceive it to be and they don’t want to get sucked into it again? Or maybe her kids were easier and calmer. Why would your dad say your DD ‘never stops talking’ if this isn’t true? You paint a picture of a very well mannered toddler who understands turn taking and rules, who isn’t allowed to pester grandparents for attention or interrupt their conversations. So what do they find so tiring?
Thinking back a few years to when my youngest was 3 and in-laws stayed, we used to do all sorts of stuff those 6 weeks. Some days DH or I took the kids somewhere and GPs did their own thing. Other days we’d go to a historic site with space for kids to run about. Or we’d go to the beach for a day. Or the aquarium where there was something everyone enjoyed.
If I asked the kids what they wanted to do they’d both say the splash pad. I can’t imagine making my parents or in-laws sit on the grass by a noisy splash-pad all day. DH or I used to take them then meet up later.