I don't know how I can live with myself knowing I did this....

[ArDali1]

This morning I was looking forward to having toast and jam.
I was ready to butter my toast.......... but I spread the jam first. 😳
I had to add the butter in a way that it was mixed with the jam. Still tasty but it's not the same.
I know I'm a monster.....

Please tell me I'm not the only one to fuck up something as simple as toast and jam.

Well yesterday I poured myself a gin to sit in the garden and realised instead of using tonic water I mixed with dc's apple and raspberry sparking water! Ragin. It was sickly sweet and I couldn't drink it- dh isn't fussy so he did!

Jam first for scones, no butter, no raisins and I prefer whipped cream to clotted.

Definitely butter and jam on toast.

😭 I'm so sorry that this has traumatised a lot of you. I am still traumatised, and don't know how I'm going to face the morning tomorrow....
I will suffer the consequences of my action.

Whoever was asking for a diagram, I can only imagine it will make things worse.....

And to the clotted cream jam scone brigade. It's a thick 'raise my cholesterol level' slabbing of clotted cream THEN jam.

Just so you know the butter was very soft that it mixed quite well into the jam.... The more I speak about it the more horrified I get. 😓

Also I had blueberry jam.....

I just spilled some of the soup that was in the pot whilst I was trying to lift the cooker rack to clean it... I don't know what is wrong with me today.

Also found this. why is it made into a tea!!

That tea is a travesty!

Isolate as it might be a symptom. Report it immediately. Don't go out. Get a neighbour to go shopping for you. Apply for a grant to support you whilst you cannot work. Get Test and Trace to call everyone you know.

@InMySpareTime

That tea is a travesty!

A traves-tea? Perhaps

Come the fuck on OP, no trigger warning?

@MrsMoastyToasty for future reference the German word for butter is Butter

@BarleyMop I was once staying at a friend’s house and got in the shower in my knickers and bra 🤦‍♀️ Had to try and dry the bra off as I didn’t have another one with me!

My great grandmother’s words not mine: “There is no traffic cop in your arse”!

If it makes you feel better I regularly forget I'm meant to do my mouth first when taking a Lateral flow test....

Be glad the other orifice is your nose!!!

Ummm it's mouth first? Oh bugger!!

Nah butter and jam always or marmalade but yes I add butter too. Tastes so good

and don't know how I'm going to face the morning tomorrow

DO. NOT. DO. IT. AGAIN.

You must immediately report yourself to the jam police (would that be the WI?) who will put you in special facility where you will be drilled on the ins and out of all aspects of jam making, including the need (or not) for a wax disc with a screw top jar. I know it is tough, but for miscreants like yourself, it is the only way.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Reported.

Mnhq need to take this down, or at least put a trigger warning

No words...

Op, please consider speaking to your gp about a psychiatric evaluation.

I once absent-mindedly dropped a Berocca into a mug of red bush tea. It foamed up beautifully. I drank it anyway, it was surprisingly nice. Not nice enough to repeat deliberately, but drinkable

I made instant coffee without first boiling the kettle the other day. It was horrid and made an awful mess in the sink when I chucked it!

I made instant coffee in a black mug. I take my coffee black. I'd forgotten to put the coffee in altogether, but I didn't notice until I was about half way down the mug and I spilled it.

What parallel universe have I stumbled upon??

Toast without butter? Just jam on it?

The sheer Wrongness of that has left me slack-jawed and googly eyed.

Reported!

I’m quite freaked out to discover that some people don’t butter their toast before jamming it. Frightening.

I think we can all agree Scones were invented in Scotland, and as such butter on first always, then jam and cream, the Devon lot with their cream first then jam suggestion are just trying to waste if for all of us,

P.S butter and jam on toast, toast without butter must be dry af.

@BarleyMop

I left my pants on in the shower this morning. Seemed a pretty basic error

OMG I once left my slippers on in the shower