I don't know how I can live with myself knowing I did this....

[ArDali1]

This morning I was looking forward to having toast and jam.
I was ready to butter my toast.......... but I spread the jam first. 😳
I had to add the butter in a way that it was mixed with the jam. Still tasty but it's not the same.
I know I'm a monster.....

Please tell me I'm not the only one to fuck up something as simple as toast and jam.

I have a 1500ml fluid restriction because of being in heart failure so as a rule I make up drinks in a 500ml chillies bottle and drink from that. So one day I picked up the bottle absent mindedly and took a massive swig. Except that I hadn’t picked up the bottle, I’d picked up the bottle of as yet undiluted orange squash. 😱

Just jam! You seriously are sick! Toast without butter is just WRONG!!

Well!

Please tell me I'm not the only one to fuck up something as simple as toast and jam.

Well people in Devon mess up a cream tea on a regular basis and they are proud of putting cream before jam so don't be too down on yourself.

@AlternativePerspective

I have a 1500ml fluid restriction because of being in heart failure so as a rule I make up drinks in a 500ml chillies bottle and drink from that. So one day I picked up the bottle absent mindedly and took a massive swig. Except that I hadn’t picked up the bottle, I’d picked up the bottle of as yet undiluted orange squash. 😱

I once drank a whole glass of undiluted squash out of politeness at a buffet when I thought it was orange juice and was too embarrassed to admit my mistake. I feel your pain!

@PurpleDaisies

Clotted cream on toast is all kinds of wrong.

But why? People put everything from beans to peanut butter to lime marmalade on toast - surely clotted cream and jam can be added to that spectrum? Clotted cream on its own is probably a bit much.

@Cocolapew

Jam OR butter, not both you heathen 🤢

Get off this thread with your "just jam"

Gross.

I've sprayed deoderant on my toothbrush, and went to put the toothpaste under my arms blames DH for getting fancy stand up tubes of toothpaste

I've also sprayed hairspray under my arms, instead of deoderant, and wondered if I should just stick on the paper strips and attempt to wax myself with the resulting sticky armmpits note to self, must put on my glasses in the morning

I have actually tried clotted cream and jam on toast when I burnt some scones. It was horrible.

Honestly jam and butter gives me the boke.

Of course you need both, the butter to moisten the toast and the jam to be jam!
God knows what you will think of when I want a real treat, butter them cream cheese then jam tastes (not much) like cheesecake

@FelicityBeedle

Of course you need both, the butter to moisten the toast and the jam to be jam! God knows what you will think of when I want a real treat, butter them cream cheese then jam tastes (not much) like cheesecake

ah stop -pukes-

Just has to be nut butter, sorry no jam or butter

Cancel the cheque!

I wondered when someone was going to invoke scones it's jam then cream, obviously

Is it time for the scone discussion? Butter, then jam, then cream!

YOU DON'T BUTTER SCONES
Yes, I'm shouting.
People will understand.

OF COURSE YOU CAN. I work in a cafe and people ask for it all the time.

You know the rules op, we need a diagram.

I blame Brexit

I made myself a cup of tea and forgot the teabag so it was just a cup of hot water with milk, blech.
I've showered more than once with my glasses on.

You are dead to me op..

Omg, yet another thing that only happens on mumsnet and not in the real world (the notion of butter AND jam together)

Whenever anyone says butter or jam? I always think of the Railway Children's mum'butter or jam Tommy, we aren't rich anymore'

@Nsky

Just has to be nut butter, sorry no jam or butter

I seriously hope that's not a euphemism.