I don't know how I can live with myself knowing I did this....

[ArDali1]

This morning I was looking forward to having toast and jam.
I was ready to butter my toast.......... but I spread the jam first. 😳
I had to add the butter in a way that it was mixed with the jam. Still tasty but it's not the same.
I know I'm a monster.....

Please tell me I'm not the only one to fuck up something as simple as toast and jam.

You most definitely DO NOT butter scones.
And it’s jam first THEN cream on top.
What are we teaching our children!!!

Wait what....some people will actually and deliberately toast some bread and then put jam straight on?? The butter needs to be there for BUTTERINESS and deliciousness and softness, and the jam goes on once the butter has melted.

As for the OP, well, I'm sorry but I am calling 101 to log it with the police. Actually, I might go and see a solicitor for a free half hour of advice on how to sue you for the trauma you've caused me

Jam n butter? Yup, standard. If you jam only one piece of toast just only butter the other piece and make a sandwich?!

How can you eat both together, it’s jam alone or butter alone , mixed is disgusting

@Rosiiiiie

You most definitely DO NOT butter scones. And it’s jam first THEN cream on top. What are we teaching our children!!!

This is correct, and right, and proper.

Anything else is a Devonish plot to ruin nice things for everyone.

You deserve a ban from mumsnet! What a monster!

@Cattitudes

Please tell me I'm not the only one to fuck up something as simple as toast and jam.

Well people in Devon mess up a cream tea on a regular basis and they are proud of putting cream before jam so don't be too down on yourself.

Now, you say that - but seeing as the clotted cream is there as an alternative improvement upon butter and then the jam goes on top as per the normal method of making jam on toast - surely that's just further proof that you Cornish Heathens should probably pull down the Bridge so we can erect it again together with a nice, big wall, just to the right of Teignmouth and keep both of us away from the private school crowd currently charging over moors, crapping on beaches and complaining that leats aren't safe to paddle in?

What's disgusting about sweet delicious jam on creamy salty butter?

You'll be telling me you don't put butter on toast for scrambled eggs next. WHERE WILL THE MADNESS END

@ClawedButler

What's disgusting about sweet delicious jam on creamy salty butter?

You'll be telling me you don't put butter on toast for scrambled eggs next. WHERE WILL THE MADNESS END

It's the sweet and salty combo that turns me off, scrambled eggs are fine with butter

Try Philadelphia and jam particularly on bagels. A-mazing

What you should have done is pick up the jammy toast and butter the other side. Messy, but solves the issue without the jam/butter smearing issue.

And here lies the proof that it must be cream before jam on a scone.

Cream instead of butter.

Jam first is obscene, as this thread shows.

Gavel.

Clotted cream is not an upgrade for butter imo. Butter I'd only put a thin layer on. Clotted cream goes on by the spoonful and needs to be at least half an inch thick.

Unrelatedly, I have no idea why I am overweight.

I don't know what is worse...

What you DID

or

ADMITTING IT

@ClawedButler

Clotted cream is not an upgrade for butter imo. Butter I'd only put a thin layer on. Clotted cream goes on by the spoonful and needs to be at least half an inch thick.

Unrelatedly, I have no idea why I am overweight.

It's not properly clotted if there's only spooning cream - there should be a nice, thick layer of spreading cream in the top of the jar.

Clotted cream and butter are both delicious but definitely not interchangeable.

The other day I got butter on the knife before going to prod the toast out of the toaster with the knife.

There was a melted butter incident that involved deep cleaning the toaster.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Reported.

Mnhq need to take this down, or at least put a trigger warning

:D

Agreed - you get a tablespoonful of the spreadable gooey cream and smear it on, and then get another spoonful of it and delicately arrange that next to the first mountain and then you say, "Get in my face you delicious multilayered baked heart attack-inducing bastard"

@LividLaVidaLoca

The other day I got butter on the knife before going to prod the toast out of the toaster with the knife.

There was a melted butter incident that involved deep cleaning the toaster.

Bloody hell, do you want to electrocute yourself!!

Cream-before-jam people and jam before cream people, just-jam and just-butter people, unite for we have a common enemy.

A man I used to work with had miraculously lived to his late 40s yet routinely buttered his bread before putting it in the toaster

LTB

(leave the butter)

A few weeks ago I made a cup of instant coffee using coffee which was not in fact instant.

I have very precise toast ettiquette.

Jam/marmalade and butter = cold toast.

Marmite and butter = hot toast.

I know I'm weird.