I don't know how I can live with myself knowing I did this....

[ArDali1]

This morning I was looking forward to having toast and jam.
I was ready to butter my toast.......... but I spread the jam first. 😳
I had to add the butter in a way that it was mixed with the jam. Still tasty but it's not the same.
I know I'm a monster.....

Please tell me I'm not the only one to fuck up something as simple as toast and jam.

@Deloresmessi. Thats okay as long as you had the crisps first and the chocolate for "pudding"?

Nut Butter made me chuckle

Lurpak & jam on toast is divine . The Lurpak has to be so thick that you leave teeth indentations in it .
I once went up to bed with a cup of tea in one hand & a hot water bottle in the other . Threw the cup of tea into the bed instead of the bottle .

I thought everyone did butter then jam. Jam on it's own makes the toast go funny!

[quote FelicityBeedle]@JudgeJ where are your bowls from? Mine definitely wouldn’t fit two bowls of soup! Also I admire you admitting you leave things out over night, you’ll be attacked round here![/quote]
I got some really useful big soup bowls from, I think, the Original Factory shop years ago. As for leaving it out overnight, it was probably colder in my kitchen than in the fridge! I'm always reminded of the late Terence Conran, Habitat, I'm of the generation who was fed from aluminium pans and I survived!

@catsareme14

Lurpak & jam on toast is divine . The Lurpak has to be so thick that you leave teeth indentations in it . I once went up to bed with a cup of tea in one hand & a hot water bottle in the other . Threw the cup of tea into the bed instead of the bottle .

Lurpak alone on almost cold toast is wonderful though I have recently re-discovered Roses Lime marmalade.

Jam on toast is wrong full stop. Just butter. Or butter and marmite. Never sweet stuff.

OP: you know YABU, it is good that you've confessed this. For your penance, change your bed linen every day for a fortnight and clean the loo thrice daily with a loo brush.

On the scone debate: I was in Cornwall last week and didn't have enough Internet connectivity to Google whether it should be cream or jam first. I tried both ways, and can definitively declare that jam first is better.

@DappledThings

Of course you need both, the butter to moisten the toast and the jam to be jam!

Absolutely. Butter is merely an undercoat. I wouldn't put anything on toast without butter underneath.

What about Nutella? Surely no butter under that?!

Was the jam homemade and what type was it?

What about Nutella? Surely no butter under that?!
Yep, always butter.

Ogod, that split second when you realise you've thrown tea over the bed! Oh god nooooo. A second to do, half an hour to blimmin sort out

@ClawedButler

What's disgusting about sweet delicious jam on creamy salty butter?

You'll be telling me you don't put butter on toast for scrambled eggs next. WHERE WILL THE MADNESS END

DH doesn’t butter toast for scrambled eggs. Fortunately, he doesn’t make them that often so it’s not quite a dealbreaker…….

And I bet you put cream and then jam on a scone too!!! Grrrrrr 😡😡😡

Someone from Cornwall once told me that in Devon they do cream then jam, it hides the poor quality of Devon cream!

Seeing as most of us exiles make do with Rhodda's from Waitrose, that's probably true.

Jam is gross.
The only things that belong on toast are butter, or crunchy peanut butter or boursin, both without butter.

So surprised at this, butter + jam = deliciousness. Just jam = so boring

OP, you’re a knob!

@whensmynexthol1day

Try Philadelphia and jam particularly on bagels. A-mazing

I love this but I take it to the next level with cinnamon bagels. The combination is amazing!

I added Ritz crackers to the shopping list recently as I had a craving for some with Nutella. Sat down to have my crunchy, salty, chocolate my treat today and realise sod picked up cheese flavoured Ritz by mistake.

Wasn’t bad at all.

This is the most horrifying thing I’ve read in a long time.

@Caramellatteplease

If it makes you feel better I regularly forget I'm meant to do my mouth first when taking a Lateral flow test....

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

I emptied a sugar packet into the tea caddy, loose leaf tea 🤦‍♀️There was only about a tablespoon if tea in the bottom. I plan to use it for a tea cake.

@FreekStar2

I thought everyone did butter then jam. Jam on it's own makes the toast go funny!

What sort of funny? Doesn't everything do a little trick on toast? Butter fills the holes in, honey makes that crisp sort of surface... what does jam do, and why is it bad?

@Mwahahahahaha

I added Ritz crackers to the shopping list recently as I had a craving for some with Nutella. Sat down to have my crunchy, salty, chocolate my treat today and realise sod picked up cheese flavoured Ritz by mistake.

Wasn’t bad at all.

Jeez. What the hell is wrong with you?