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AIBU?

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Original poster

Assaulted at school

200 replies

Theoneandonly321 · 16/07/2021 14:19

Posting here for traffic
My dd has been severely assaulted at school by another child. The child has been excluded. What action can I take as this is the third time the child has hurt my child and there wasn’t any consequences beforehand.
Am I able to call the police as the child is 10 and google says they are now above the legal age for criminal responsibility. Any advice appreciated I am so angry and upset.

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 16/07/2021 17:13

OP are you in England Scotland Wales ?

igelkott2021 · 16/07/2021 17:13

If you really believe that to be so - why not cut the crap, the Police have more than enough to deal with than stuff like this. I'm sure with a bit of sleuthing you could find the address of the culprit and consequently their family. Then go around (ideally during the school day) and tell the parent concerned that if your dd is touched one more time, you will seek retribution, adult-to-adult

I sincerely hope this is ironic.

Doveyouknow · 16/07/2021 17:15

Exclusion can be temporary i.e a fixed term or permanent. You could go to the police but you can't a) insist they are charged b) insist they are prosecuted. In reality the police / prosecutors are unlikely to want to take forward charges against a 10 year old as there is limited public interest in doing so (although I get it would make you feel better). The most important thing is ensuring this doesn't happen again and so I would talk to the school about how they will do that.

QueenBee52 · 16/07/2021 17:15

If you are in Scotland you can contact the Scotlands Children Reporter and refer the Child assaulting your child. 🌸

Divineswirls · 16/07/2021 17:16

What actually happened to cause the bruises.
What we're both DC side of the story.
Not much is going to happen if it's just pushes and bruises these things are the very least of your worries.

GreyhoundG1rl · 16/07/2021 17:21

My dd has been blamed for allowing herself to be alone with the child.
School have actually said this? Where were they when it happened?

Longdistance · 16/07/2021 17:22

@Karaokehell2021 The parents have said the child will not be punished as it isn’t their fault. The child attacked her unprovoked for no reason, she is a very violent child and the school nor her parents ever punish her.
Then The child is old enough to take responsibility, especially as they told my dd ‘watch your back I’m going to do it again’

Original poster
Theoneandonly321 · 16/07/2021 17:25

It was break time the child followed my dd and began hitting and scratching her whilst laughing. Other children witnessed it who ran for teachers help. No idea why there wasn’t a teacher nearby particularly as they promised to safeguard my dd from this child after my report of bullying beforehand. My dd hadn’t done anything, according to the witnesses and as I know my dd well enough. The parents have outright said they will not punish her as it’s not a big deal. The child attacks other children regularly. I have written to all possibility authorities I can and I will not be sending her back there. Thanks all for your advice.

OP posts:
me4real · 16/07/2021 17:26

So sorry you and your DD have had this experience. Flowers

I hope it gets resolved in as satisfactory as possible a way soon xxx

baldafrique · 16/07/2021 17:27

Parents sound as feral as their daughter. Grim.

SunshineCake · 16/07/2021 17:42

Def report to police. My son was attacked and the school were pathetic in their response. The police definitely put the shit up the aggressor and his family even though the school were still rubbish. The kid was then attacked at his next school and his mother was furious.

Teaandjam · 16/07/2021 17:44

Call the police.

ElizaLynn · 16/07/2021 17:46

I am sorry this happened to your child, how awful.

Can you email the school to ask what specific measures were put in place to protect your child so that you can understand how the assault happened. I think you can also request emails and anything the school has on file re incidents concerning your daughter to see exactly what was put in place via FoI.

It does sound like the child needs to go to a withdrawal unit for education - however this is normally the outcome of a long process and behavior plan.

JimmyGrimble · 16/07/2021 17:57

It sounds like the other child has SEN. Schools are in a cleft stick here. There aren’t nearly enough special school places and the process is long. The police will not act if the other child has a diagnosed SEN. The school should be supervising her more closely but even then, incidents do occur. I’m sorry this happened to your daughter.

quizqueen · 16/07/2021 17:57

People kill others and get off nowadays so I wouldn't hold out for the police being any help at all.

mm8989 · 16/07/2021 17:57

Ring the police and write to the governor's. its a safeguarding issue.
Go all out ballistic, its the only way to get action.

The police complaint will force school to take action.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/07/2021 18:02

Cuts and bruises, especially if not serious enough to require stitches, would probably not result in the police taking further action against the attacker unless there was an aggravating factor (like it fitting hate crime criteria)

OP said it has been logged as a hate crime, because her DD is disabled and this was implicated in the attack

SomeNameorOther · 16/07/2021 18:02

This happened to out dd in primary, Y6. DH called to cpolice in spite the Headmistress's pleas (well, not pleas, just "I don't think that's necessary...."), but it had been ongoing for a few months and we'd been patient and cooperative and the only person losing out was dd.

Cops got involved, suddenly consequences visited the girl. Bullying and assaults stopped.

I don't really understand why it always seems to be the victim who pays, misses their education, has to be kept safe in all sorts of ways which are ridiculous and look more like punishments for being the victim. Schools are often so useless and uninventive, uninspired, unresourceful in how to deal with it. Infuriating.

Original poster
Theoneandonly321 · 16/07/2021 18:06

The police have refused to help and have told me it is the schools responsibility. I am very upset because the school have made it clear they will not be taking it further. All I can do is make a complaint and pull my dd out of the school. The child has got off Scot free and continues to enjoy her school and education whilst my dd will need to be homeschooled for some time due to lack of school places elsewhere. I despair at the system.

OP posts:
skodadoda · 16/07/2021 18:06

@igelkott2021

If you really believe that to be so - why not cut the crap, the Police have more than enough to deal with than stuff like this. I'm sure with a bit of sleuthing you could find the address of the culprit and consequently their family. Then go around (ideally during the school day) and tell the parent concerned that if your dd is touched one more time, you will seek retribution, adult-to-adult

I sincerely hope this is ironic.

So do I. That’s the worst advice I’ve seen in a long time.
BrozTito · 16/07/2021 18:06

Get digital photos of injuries asap

firefly123 · 16/07/2021 18:06

@Theoneandonly321 this sounds so awful. I hope the police can help. How horrible for all of you especially DD

skodadoda · 16/07/2021 18:11

@Theoneandonly321

The police have refused to help and have told me it is the schools responsibility. I am very upset because the school have made it clear they will not be taking it further. All I can do is make a complaint and pull my dd out of the school. The child has got off Scot free and continues to enjoy her school and education whilst my dd will need to be homeschooled for some time due to lack of school places elsewhere. I despair at the system.
I think you should go back to the police and report that your child has been assaulted. It sounds as though they’ve simply taken it as a playground spat. Put in a complaint if necessary. You should not have to be finding another schedule for your dd.
chaosrabbitland · 16/07/2021 18:12

@igelkott2021

If you really believe that to be so - why not cut the crap, the Police have more than enough to deal with than stuff like this. I'm sure with a bit of sleuthing you could find the address of the culprit and consequently their family. Then go around (ideally during the school day) and tell the parent concerned that if your dd is touched one more time, you will seek retribution, adult-to-adult

I sincerely hope this is ironic.

and if the op follows your advice she is likely to get a assulted like her dd has been only by the parents not the kid and or get the police on her for making threats to them , you can really be serious with your suggestion can you ?
Chikapu · 16/07/2021 18:12

@FredBlankenship

What caused it, any idea? Is your dd totally without fault in all of this, are you absolutely certain?

If you really believe that to be so - why not cut the crap, the Police have more than enough to deal with than stuff like this. I'm sure with a bit of sleuthing you could find the address of the culprit and consequently their family. Then go around (ideally during the school day) and tell the parent concerned that if your dd is touched one more time, you will seek retribution, adult-to-adult.

If anything else, that might get the police involved, but otherwise don't expect much, as for the school, they will just be trying to keep it covered up to avoid any negative press.

FFS what shitty advice.