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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Assaulted at school

200 replies

Theoneandonly321 · 16/07/2021 14:19

Posting here for traffic
My dd has been severely assaulted at school by another child. The child has been excluded. What action can I take as this is the third time the child has hurt my child and there wasn’t any consequences beforehand.
Am I able to call the police as the child is 10 and google says they are now above the legal age for criminal responsibility. Any advice appreciated I am so angry and upset.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 16/07/2021 14:58

Suspension is temporary. Exclusion is permanent but I guess there may be an appeals process

PinkyU · 16/07/2021 14:58

I’m with porcupine on this. A severe assault would need to incur severe injuries usually requiring medical care.

How you would progress the situation would really depend on wether your definition of “severe assault” matches the legal definition of “severe assault”.

korawick12345 · 16/07/2021 14:58

The exclusion could be fixed term or permanent only the school and the parents of the child in question will be entitled to that information. You say there were no consequences for the previous incidents - you have no way of knowing that as the school quite rightly would not share that information with you.

Mumdiva99 · 16/07/2021 15:01

I'm really sorry for the hurt to your child. But it does sound like the school are taking this seriously. Exclusion is not handed out to just anyone - especially at 10 years old. You yourself say the first 2 times were minor - this time was not and the consequences reflect that.

Your discussion with the school should be about how can they ensure this doesn't happen to your child again.

3scape · 16/07/2021 15:03

Exclusion is for a specified length. If they are excluded then it's temporary. If it's permanent exclusion it is called that. To be frank the school has merely given the attacker a couple of days off school. It doesn't sound likely to impact them much.

Hankunamatata · 16/07/2021 15:07

What exactly happened?
How were you notified - straight away or at pick up?

So first two times this child pushed your child? How do you know there were no consequences?

Hankunamatata · 16/07/2021 15:09

Was your daughter hospitalised?

ineedaholidaynow · 16/07/2021 15:12

What actually happened?

mrssunshinexxx · 16/07/2021 15:23

Raise hell OP in whichever way you can.

Terhou · 16/07/2021 15:24

Ask the school whether it is a temporary or permanent exclusion. If they won't tell you, say you need an urgent meeting to discuss safeguarding your child if the other child is coming back to school. At the meeting, ask them exactly what steps they are going to take to ensure that your child is safe at all times, and ask them what they have done to implement their bullying and discipline policies.

Blacktothepink · 16/07/2021 15:28

Take pictures of all her injuries ASAP and prosecute the perpetrator. Sorry this has happened to her.

HippoNamedBooBooButt · 16/07/2021 15:30

Ask the school if the exclusion is fixed term or permanent. If they say fixed term, ask them what they will be putting in place to protect others when this child returns. They won't be able to talk to you about anything specific to do with this child however, such as how they are supporting them.

In addition, report to the police. It doesn't matter if you don't know their address, the police will refer to social services or the school to find that information, whichever is most relevant.

Also, Google the name and contact details for the LADO (local authority designated officer) for safeguarding and report to them too.

margretsmith · 16/07/2021 15:35

i would go to the police if this has happened multiple occasions you need to do something about it if you don't want to you can talk to their parents although they may not be reasonable, i hope your child is okay :)

Thirtyrock39 · 16/07/2021 15:38

Would the police take this seriously though? These are ten year olds? It sounds awful op and I would be furious but the school have taken action here .

NumberTheory · 16/07/2021 15:43

Cuts and bruises, especially if not serious enough to require stitches, would probably not result in the police taking further action against the attacker unless there was an aggravating factor (like it fitting hate crime criteria). I would expect the police to think the school’s action of a temporary exclusion was sufficient at this stage. Generally speaking, pulling kids into the criminal justice system is not good for long term outcomes, so there is often pressure to avoid it if other routes are available. It may still be worth doing, though, since the boy seems to be targeting DD and the school aren’t preventing this. That way there will be a history in the police system for them to refer to if there is another incident.

I think following up with the school on how they intend safeguarding your DD may be more important. Also, finding out if your DD is his only target and potentially coordinating with parents of other victims if appropriate.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/07/2021 15:43

I'd call the police or take action in the form of a solicitor letter to the school.
I wouldn't be looking for compensation however they've failed in their duty of care I'd be making sure it didn't happen again for my and other unfortunate DC.
Will this child be in your DC in the future if from a similar area? If there was any chance I'd move.
She seems vicious at 10.

ToastieSnowy · 16/07/2021 15:46

My DS(10) was assaulted by an 11 year old at school. Unprovoked. No history between them. School were horrified, suspended the boy and told me to contact the police which I did. The head said it was the worse assault he’d seen in his career.

School wrote a report for the police, a police officer came out to speak with DS and I.

The police were frank in outlining the court procedure my DS would have to go through. This boy was not going to the same secondary school, didn’t live local, and it was also close to end of term.

As the police would keep the incident on file should the boy do anything similar again, I decided not to make my DS go through court, he’d been traumatised enough.

I’ll not lie it was a tough decision but the right one for my son. Only you can choose what to do once you’ve spoken with the police.

The secondary school DS did go to were great and arranged counselling in school once he started in the September. I would recommend doing similar.

Hankunamatata · 16/07/2021 15:47

So your dd was pushed twice before and now your saying she has been assaulted and is covered with cuts and bruises.

What happened? Did other child attack her? Or did they push her into something?

WunWun · 16/07/2021 15:47

Exclusion when I was at school meant being kept out of classes, sitting in an office etc, for a fixed amount of time.

Movingonupupup · 16/07/2021 15:50

Report to the police and social services. Give the name of the child as as much detail as you can. Photograph any injuries. Take your own statement from your own child - just record what he/ she tells you. Inform police of any witnesses etc police will get details from the school and insist on child being charged - no brush it under the carpet with words of advice if you think the injury to your child is that bad - else listen to the options available.

Movingonupupup · 16/07/2021 15:53

@ToastieSnowy

My DS(10) was assaulted by an 11 year old at school. Unprovoked. No history between them. School were horrified, suspended the boy and told me to contact the police which I did. The head said it was the worse assault he’d seen in his career.

School wrote a report for the police, a police officer came out to speak with DS and I.

The police were frank in outlining the court procedure my DS would have to go through. This boy was not going to the same secondary school, didn’t live local, and it was also close to end of term.

As the police would keep the incident on file should the boy do anything similar again, I decided not to make my DS go through court, he’d been traumatised enough.

I’ll not lie it was a tough decision but the right one for my son. Only you can choose what to do once you’ve spoken with the police.

The secondary school DS did go to were great and arranged counselling in school once he started in the September. I would recommend doing similar.

No one will judge you for doing the right thing by your son. However, in my experience the more people the do this the more the behaviour in offender escalates and they see themselves as being ‘untouchable’
Condensedmilkandbanana · 16/07/2021 16:08

@Theoneandonly321

Can anyone confirm is exclusion is permanent or temporary? She is covered in bruises and cuts
Poor thing. :( She must be so upset and traumatized too. Hope you are both relatively okay. You'd probably have to check with school to see whether or not permanent. Definitely call police. You also need to report to Ofstead and Education team at council, they have a duty of care and failed to protect her despite knowing it was an issue. Massive safegaurding issues and negligence here. School should be safe and they have failed her.
Original poster
Theoneandonly321 · 16/07/2021 16:13

The school have allowed the child back as it was temporary for today only. No further action is happening on their part. I have reported it to the police and I will be contacting the school and ofsted alongside pulling my dd from the school. They cannot guarantee her safety as I have recently written to them about this child bullying her, they claimed they will safeguard my child but the other child was allowed lone access to my dd for this to happen. My dd has been blamed for allowing herself to be alone with the child. The parents have said the child will not be punished as it isn’t their fault. The child attacked her unprovoked for no reason, she is a very violent child and the school nor her parents ever punish her. I think if the police speak to the family it will reassure me that someone is on our side and that the child may get help with their violence before they seriously hurt another child. I am not interested in arrests/court etc just for it to be recorded as they live near us and we see them regularly. The child is old enough to take responsibility, especially as they told my dd ‘watch your back I’m going to do it again’

OP posts:
Pinkandpink · 16/07/2021 16:25

There is a boy at my kids school who is very violent 10, he has to have 1 to 1 supervision all the time. It’s a nightmare as I don’t like leaving the kids when he’s in the playground in the morning.