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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to see any adult who hasn’t had the vaccine

331 replies

Fthisshitimdone · 15/07/2021 23:15

I don’t feel like I want to hang out with anyone who has refused the vaccine. AIBU? It’s not only because I am worried they are carrying the virus it’s also because I resent them. I think they’re being selfish and also that they think they’re better than the rest of us!

OP posts:
newmummy21 · 16/07/2021 09:57

@Parker231

If everyone waited and didn’t have the vaccinations, I wonder what state the country would be in and what the numbers of deaths would be?

Well we can never know as we aren't in that situation to compare. But I stand by what I said - it's ridiculous to suggest that someone who opts not to take a risk themselves is automatically "happy" for others to do so.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 16/07/2021 09:57

Wow I can't believe the number of people who think you're being unreasonable. I completely agree with you. Will be interested to see how many change their minds now that it impacts on foreign travel though.

HomerSimpsonsDonut · 16/07/2021 09:59

It is very annoying and selfish yes but unfortunately not everyone does the right thing in life and we have to accept it.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 16/07/2021 10:00

It is very annoying and selfish yes but unfortunately not everyone does the right thing in life and we have to accept it.

There isn’t a right or wrong decision though.

BillyWhozz · 16/07/2021 10:00

My next door neighbour (80+) can't have the vaccine due to a medical condition.

What about people in those circumstances?

Turtlesone · 16/07/2021 10:02

I haven’t had the vaccine yet.
I plan to but currently early pregnancy, I was in the ‘two week wait’ when my age group got called. After lots of research I’ve decided to wait till after 12weeks to have the jab.
I’ve also had covid and have recently tested positive for anti bodies.
It’s my decision and being pregnant has a huge weighting on it. If someone didn’t want to be friends with me for my choice then I would think them very small minded, and would be very happy to cut ties!

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 16/07/2021 10:03

Wow I can't believe the number of people who think you're being unreasonable. I completely agree with you. Will be interested to see how many change their minds now that it impacts on foreign travel though.

I think it’s reasonable to make a decision to not be around unvaccinated people, its her choice, if she knows people’s vaccination status. It’s OPs attitude that’s unreasonable, things like wanting them to be punished, that’s a bit off. And saying that unvaccinated people think they’re better. 🙄

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 16/07/2021 10:05

Those who are old enough and can have it but have refused are just winding me up

Sounds like you’re winding yourself up to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

GabriellaMontez · 16/07/2021 10:05

What if they're immune following infection? They pose less risk to you than a double vaxxed person.

Or do you think they should just take the vaccine too because you did.

JurassicShay · 16/07/2021 10:08

Just because someone hasn't made the same choice as you over body autonomy it doesn't mean that your right and they're wrong.

My 55 year old mum was on a ventilator for 2 weeks with covid and still is in ill health 6 months later. Guess where she got it? The vaccination centre Grin

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2021 10:09

@Northernparent68

"If you’re vaccinated you are protected".

Why has Boris and Whitty advised ECV people to consider if the people who they are mixing with have been vaccinated?

I'm in a dilemma about this. I'm ECV, but have been vaccinated. I'd started babysitting for someone who isn't. She works in care. She will get the vaccine if her Mum comes over at Christmas, or if she wants to travel, or work insists on it, but won't otherwise. So I've made my decision to not provide free childcare. I turned up on Monday and her children had terrible coughs. But I feel bad for her.

Maddiemademe · 16/07/2021 10:10

I agree OP. I have lost multiple family members and could also die if I get it (massive risks with myasthenia Gravis and severe asthma)

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2021 10:11

"My 55 year old mum was on a ventilator for 2 weeks with covid and still is in ill health 6 months later. Guess where she got it? The vaccination centre".
How can you pinpoint were she got it?

WeHaveComeSoFar · 16/07/2021 10:13

@Tinpotspectator

One of the very unpleasant things about a lot of the refusers is that they are openly saying they will have it if it helps them personally eg to go on holiday. Lovely!
Hahaha.

That's one of the reasons why I had mine.

What's the problem if it makes people get it?

Whinginadeville · 16/07/2021 10:13

It's selfish to not have the vaccine medical issues/pregnancy aside. With no other reasons it's the very definition of selfish to put yourself before the greater good. We'd still have smallpox without vaccines ffs. At least own your shit and drop this mind your own business stuff. If you are risk adverse fine but this vaccine has been fully lab tested and now we have to test it if you don't want to do that fine. There are enough of us that aren't selfish who will and we will protect our elderly and vulnerable but if you haven't had the vaccine at least modify your behaviour at bit and admit your inherent selfishness.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 16/07/2021 10:13

Ponoka7

You have to do what you feel comfortable with. Everyone has that right. Presumably the kids wouldn’t have been vaccinated even if their mum was though, would you have been ok with that?

LovelyGirlCompetition · 16/07/2021 10:14

I have blocked the covid topics and it's so lovely. Unfortunately, the controlling, hysterical posters keep finding ways to get into my feed. Could we vaccinate against this, maybe?

DDIJ · 16/07/2021 10:15

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 16/07/2021 10:15

Whinginadeville

🙄

PurpleParrotfish · 16/07/2021 10:15

Of course there is the risk of side effects turning up with any vaccine - but the chance of something serious is minuscule - one in a million maybe. However, if you’re not vaccinated your chance of getting long Covid is closer to one in a hundred (in no way specific but it’s that sort of level).
So (leaving aside those with specific medical conditions or those who are pregnant) the idea that not having the jab is the cautious, risk averse approach is so completely wrong.

I’m basing the guesstimate for long Covid on this study by the way: www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/conditionsanddiseases/bulletins/prevalenceofongoingsymptomsfollowingcoronaviruscovid19infectionintheuk/1april2021

MarshaBradyo · 16/07/2021 10:17

Up to you

Will help with numbers so go for it

Brabraboo · 16/07/2021 10:17

I’m another who agrees with you OP. Not sure if it makes me a terrible person or not but it changes how I see people and I can’t be bothered with people who are able to have it but are refusing it.

It’s an incredible level of privileged stupidity to be refusing something that so many others in the rest of the world have no access to and would desperately like to have.

It’s an incredible level of arrogance to think that ‘doing your own research’ (watching some emotionally charged YouTube videos and reading scores of faked or deliberately misrepresented data and documents on the internet) makes you better placed to understand the science than people with decades of education in this area. You can’t just dismiss the scientists and doctors (the reputable ones!) expertise and intelligence by brushing them off as evil sheep willingly trying to kill off the population, JUST SO you can believe the quack on Instagram with questionable credentials because he’s telling you what you want to hear.

U.K. is very individualistic and people are literally unable to see why they should have it unless it directly and immediately benefits them personally in a very obvious way. Many people who claim it’s all a hoax or it’s all experimental vaccines (but who won’t read up on why these arguments are bollocks) will happily skip along to be jabbed once they want to go on holiday and not pay an extra few grand in testing and quarantining.

I can’t listen to people whine on about risks of vaccines while being willing to chance it on Covid when the glaringly obvious research is screaming at us all to show that any potential and very minimal chance of vaccine complication is much much much lower than the risk of complications with the actual virus itself (clots etc)

I can’t listen to people say they ‘don’t know what is in it’ when they slurp down Coca Cola, puff on cigarettes or eat McDonald’s without ever googling half of those ingredients which would be just as alarmist if any of us really wanted to be concerned with it.

Also it’s devastating to know how many immuno compromised people (especially children) are being left at higher risk because the vaccine doesn’t protect them and those around them are stamping their feet over something Sharon on Facebook has posted about critical thinking.

The world pre vaccines was a different place. Children died in numbers we cannot even imagine now, of diseases that were just seen as standard childhood illnesses. Kids aren’t dying or being disabled by smallpox or polio in significant numbers now because such high levels of vaccination occur.

But you literally cannot argue with people who desperately want to feel intellectually superior by believing something against the grain. It makes them feel more intelligent than they perhaps are, and gives them a sense of false control over things that are frightening and unpleasant.

JurassicShay · 16/07/2021 10:23

@Ponoka7

"My 55 year old mum was on a ventilator for 2 weeks with covid and still is in ill health 6 months later. Guess where she got it? The vaccination centre". How can you pinpoint were she got it?
Because she was shielding and it was the only time she had left the house in weeks.
newmummy21 · 16/07/2021 10:25

But you literally cannot argue with people who desperately want to feel intellectually superior by believing something against the grain. It makes them feel more intelligent than they perhaps are, and gives them a sense of false control over things that are frightening and unpleasant.

Why is superiority the only explanation people are willing to consider for those who haven't had the vaccine. What about intense overwhelming anxiety? Hardly the same thing, is it.

MagnificentBottom · 16/07/2021 10:29

@Brabraboo

I’m another who agrees with you OP. Not sure if it makes me a terrible person or not but it changes how I see people and I can’t be bothered with people who are able to have it but are refusing it.

It’s an incredible level of privileged stupidity to be refusing something that so many others in the rest of the world have no access to and would desperately like to have.

It’s an incredible level of arrogance to think that ‘doing your own research’ (watching some emotionally charged YouTube videos and reading scores of faked or deliberately misrepresented data and documents on the internet) makes you better placed to understand the science than people with decades of education in this area. You can’t just dismiss the scientists and doctors (the reputable ones!) expertise and intelligence by brushing them off as evil sheep willingly trying to kill off the population, JUST SO you can believe the quack on Instagram with questionable credentials because he’s telling you what you want to hear.

U.K. is very individualistic and people are literally unable to see why they should have it unless it directly and immediately benefits them personally in a very obvious way. Many people who claim it’s all a hoax or it’s all experimental vaccines (but who won’t read up on why these arguments are bollocks) will happily skip along to be jabbed once they want to go on holiday and not pay an extra few grand in testing and quarantining.

I can’t listen to people whine on about risks of vaccines while being willing to chance it on Covid when the glaringly obvious research is screaming at us all to show that any potential and very minimal chance of vaccine complication is much much much lower than the risk of complications with the actual virus itself (clots etc)

I can’t listen to people say they ‘don’t know what is in it’ when they slurp down Coca Cola, puff on cigarettes or eat McDonald’s without ever googling half of those ingredients which would be just as alarmist if any of us really wanted to be concerned with it.

Also it’s devastating to know how many immuno compromised people (especially children) are being left at higher risk because the vaccine doesn’t protect them and those around them are stamping their feet over something Sharon on Facebook has posted about critical thinking.

The world pre vaccines was a different place. Children died in numbers we cannot even imagine now, of diseases that were just seen as standard childhood illnesses. Kids aren’t dying or being disabled by smallpox or polio in significant numbers now because such high levels of vaccination occur.

But you literally cannot argue with people who desperately want to feel intellectually superior by believing something against the grain. It makes them feel more intelligent than they perhaps are, and gives them a sense of false control over things that are frightening and unpleasant.

Excellent post
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