To ask if you 100% believe your partner has never cheated?

[zaraaraz]

I think cheating is very common. I was with someone I loved, would have done anything for and he left me and was declaring his love for someone else the next day. Obviously he was seeing her behind my back. My boyfriend before him was going through a divorce because his wife had cheated.

My sister met her husband when they were both with other people. My fathers first wife cheated on him.

I’ve seen a particular colleague cheat twice on his girlfriend.

It’s just very common in my opinion. I’m currently single but whosever I date next then I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out if they were a cheater.

My DH cheated, and I would honestly have never believed he would. Just not the type. I trusted him 100%. So I think people on here shouldn’t be complacent in thinking their dps wouldn’t cheat. i’ve read on these threads so many times about how someone’s DP has blindsided them, and had a total personality change when they’ve had their head turned. It’s very common, and can happen to anyone.

I don't believe my husband hasn't cheated. In fact there's been a few occasions where I'd have bed my life on it that he was, men aren't very good liars.
I worked with a lot of men at one point and the overwhelming majority of them cheated on their wives and girlfriends. Even the nicest ones would stray on nights out or would text other women from work and send pictures.
I don't believe everyone cheats but I think men do it a lot more than we would like to believe.

No, he wouldn't. He's kind. Being a good person and doing the right thing is really important to him.

I don't think it's that common - more in certain circles/professions/age groups.
I was married for 20 years. Xdh is evil and I hate him. He never cheated. I know this 100% as he would have taken great pleasure in taunting me with it.

I’d put money on my husband never cheating on me.

"I’d put money on my husband never cheating on me."

So would I. The question is would you put ALL of your money on it? 100%?

Just want to point out I worked in an office with other men where a lot of arrogant and egotistical men worked in sales, they weren't usually the nicest of people and even if they were they were always competing with one another. They're a very specific type of men who cheated and I wouldn't expect it of everyone. I don't want to plant seeds that have no ground.

@BackforGood

I’m always so saddened by the confidence some women who always appear on these threads have.

To be honest I feel sad that so many people have such low expectations in their lives. That they justify it as "normal" and seem shocked that there are people who wouldn't dream of cheating.

I don’t have low expectations, it’s called being realistic.

My dad was married for 20 years and his wife cheated. My sisters husband had been with his previous partner since they were teenagers until he left her fur my sister.

I worked in an office where everyone slept with everyone. I saw one guy cheat with 4 different women on his girlfriend who was at home looking after their twins.

A high percentage of people cheat. And I think you’re naive to think otherwise or that you are the exception.

No one ever completely knows the Heart (or mind) of anyone else

@uktrippin

"I’d put money on my husband never cheating on me."

So would I. The question is would you put ALL of your money on it? 100%?

Isn’t that a bit of a ridiculous question because it’s so easy to say yes because there’s no real risk - you would never actually be in a position where you would bet all your money.

I was 100 percent as well. I was wrong.

Isn’t that a bit of a ridiculous question because it’s so easy to say yes because there’s no real risk - you would never actually be in a position where you would bet all your money.

Actually I disagree.

"DP would never cheat on me. He would never leave me and the kids destitute. He would never screw us over so of course I am happy for our new house purchase to be in his name only because [insert reason here"

2 years later...."He wants me and the kids out of the house I have helped pay for to move her in. Do I have any rights?!"

There are some stats here from Yougov...

yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2015/05/27/one-five-british-adults-admit-affair

Interesting findings:

Men cheat more than women, although the proportion of women who cheat is increasing, but not men. In marriages it's M22% v F14.7%.

Unmarried people are more likely to cheat than married people.

Married people who suspect their spouses of cheating are more likely than not to be correct.

Men are more likely than women to cheat for sex, women more than men for attention.

"Cheating" means something between kissing and sex.

"Forming an emotional (rather than physical) relationship with
someone who isn’t my partner" is regarded as cheating by 50% of women and 37% of men. That seems high: I wonder how that question was defined.

Only 90% of respondents said that full sex was cheating, suggesting there are some open relationships around! I expect that's much lower among married respondents as other relationships could include lots of things.

Anyway, I think the key finding is that in marriage at least, the vast majority of men and women don't cheat.

DH and I often have this conversation and we have come to the conclusion that we would never cheat as we are too lazy 🤣. Cheating requires time and effort and neither of us can be arsed 😂.

I'm 1000% sure he hasn't cheated. I'd bet every single penny I have. We're very open and talk about everything so I know it hasn't crossed his mind. He knows I'm not fussed about monogamy and would give him the go ahead anyway but he isn't fussed. I'm the highly sexual one in our relationship and I haven't cheated either.

Mine is both shy and lazy (and very loyal). I 100% know he would never cheat.

Random thought that just popped into my head....

Perhaps being 100% sure that someone would never cheat on you is part of what makes you take the other person for granted. Not being valued may lead a person to cheat, so perhaps not neccessarily taking for granted that they will never cheat on you, so you put the effort in rather than sitting back and coasting, may actually make it less likely that they will cheat.

Obviously not talking about the serial cheaters but the "out of the blue, they have fallen for someone else" situations.

I am not sure that this theory stands up but its a thought.

I think it depends what circles you move in. I used to have a group of work mates who all seemed to cheat on their partners. I've moved around a lot since then and I now don't know of any cheating amongst my friends. So I would say it's very rare, but if you'd asked me 10 years ago when I had that old group of work friends I'd say it's very common.

Also you can't ever know for certain that someone doesn't cheat. So it's hard to get a good picture, because anyone who says "my partner would never cheat" will have a load of posters jump in and smugly tell them how naive they are, thus projecting their own experiences onto others.

@PyongyangKipperbang

Random thought that just popped into my head....

Perhaps being 100% sure that someone would never cheat on you is part of what makes you take the other person for granted. Not being valued may lead a person to cheat, so perhaps not neccessarily taking for granted that they will never cheat on you, so you put the effort in rather than sitting back and coasting, may actually make it less likely that they will cheat.

Obviously not talking about the serial cheaters but the "out of the blue, they have fallen for someone else" situations.

I am not sure that this theory stands up but its a thought.

I haven't thought of this before but I think it's a good theory, @pyongyangkipperbang

Im 80% sure he hasn't cheated.

I'd never be 100% sure about anybody.
I believe in the right set of circumstances most people would cheat if they were sufficiently certain there'd be no repercussions.

@JeansShirtJeansJacket

I just cant help thinking that the complacency of "they will never cheat on me" can lead to so many of the common marriage problems, lack of sex/lack of sharing house or child work/not sharing financial burdens/lack of affection in the small but meaningful ways. Its often these things that kill a marriage and yet those who are most guilty of them are the ones who are most shocked when their marriages end.

@BackforGood

I’m always so saddened by the confidence some women who always appear on these threads have.

To be honest I feel sad that so many people have such low expectations in their lives. That they justify it as "normal" and seem shocked that there are people who wouldn't dream of cheating.

Said me and my SIL. Until my brother cheated on her with a work colleague - him in his 40's, her in her 20's.

It devastated her of course, but it also devastated me - he was the only male figure I had to look up to, him being my big brother.

I tore him another arse hole.

But now, I just choose to stay single - I don't think we are meant to be monogamous and if the only reasoning is 'the lazy git couldnt be arsed' then I probably wouldnt want to be with the slovenly slob anyway.

But I also believe you can never fully know a person 100% either

You certainly can't know another person 100% but you can know if they are loyal and committed to the marriage. Some men and women are just not the type to cheat. My sister and her husband not, but my first husband was.

I do think that it's common but I'd be really surprised if DH cheated. 1. He is a terrible, terrible liar. 2. He is ALWAYS home. I wish he would get out more.