To think this is a ridiculous reason for DS to be put into isolation?

[varskudd]

DS(15) came home from school very annoyed yesterday, he said he was put into isolation for having a drawing on his hand/wrist. He got bored so he drew on his hand with a pen, but it's not just scribbles.

Apparently, he was told to go to the toilet and wash it off and he tried to but it wouldn't come off so they sent him to isolation. He tried to get it off at home and it wouldn't, I tried to this morning and it slightly faded but it's still there.

Aibu to think this is ridiculous?

@Lilypansy

Personally I absolutely hate this "isolation" thing going on.. Sounds Awful. So what is your suggestion to enable teachers to keep a class of teenagers in order?

How did my teachers manage to keep control of us all 20 odd years ago without resorting to isolation all the time? Because it's not something I remember ever happening very much. And I just went to a normal state comp, a fairly well regarded one but pretty average tbh.

I can't keep up here, the amount of times the story has changed.

Was it offensive or not? Did you see it or not? Did it wash off or not?

Applying Occams razor, I would propose that it was offensive and was washed off, but you don't want to admit you don't know and/or your child was clutches pearls in the wrong.

Sounds crazy, and v hard to see what that had to do with education. Are they in a prison camp or a school... Sounds like a miserable atmosphere in which to learn

He’s not well behaved if he gets detention for refusing to work and shouting out.
I wonder if he got stroppy when asked to wash his hand.
Also wondering if there was something inappropriate under the random scribbles.

It is ridiculous. He did what he was told. You should complain. Why is common sense not applied. Or was there more to it than he is saying.

@FuriousCheekyFucker

I can't keep up here, the amount of times the story has changed.

Was it offensive or not? Did you see it or not? Did it wash off or not?

Applying Occams razor, I would propose that it was offensive and was washed off, but you don't want to admit you don't know and/or your child was clutches pearls in the wrong.

No it wasnt offensive, I did see it, DS tried to wash it off again after school but it wouldn't come off but I tried this morning and it faded slightly.

My 12 yo got put in isolation last week for having the wrong colour pen for self marking his work. All classes have green except maths, where the teacher prefers red. He had green, couldn't find his red, got put in isolation and had a 30 minute after school detention. Which the teacher thought perfectly reasonable and couldn't believe I was querying whether marking in a green pen once was at all disruptive.

I think that people who don’t work in schools don’t appreciate how much time and learning is lost in schools to low level disruptive behaviour. Children always have a reason why the rule doesn’t apply to them. E.g. the rule is no food in blazer pockets, because children eat in lessons. Every child who is caught with food in their pocket will have an excuse ‘I was looking after it for my friend’, ‘I found it’ ‘My friend threw it at me and I picked it up’. It’s so tiring and wastes so much time. It’s far better to have a blanket rule that is consistently applied.
They are sent to isolation because it means that the teacher can then continue to teach the rest of the class while someone else deals with the behaviour.

Some not familiar with autocorrect/app dictionary helpfully altering or adding words for you as you type and one not always spotting that it has happened?

Maybe, don't be so fervent in your hunt for bullshit on your path to pass your superior judgement. Possibly consider spelling or grammatical errors that change meaning do occur while you are trying to appear the thread's hyper observant smart arse.

See, I typed "arse" there, went back to edit a previous line, came back and find my device had altered it to "Arsenal".

No child should ever be put in “isolation”. It is absolutely barbaric, and the total opposite of attachment and trauma-awareness.

Effective schools do not need this crazy zero-tolerance prison authority style discipline. It’s not even real discipline, it’s ruling by fear and shame.

How does having a hair bobble on your wrist cause low level disruption @elishaeva?

The rule is no jewellery. ‘But miss, it’s not jewellery it’s for my hair’ ‘But sir, it’s not jewellery it fell off my bag and I don’t want to lose it’ ‘It’s not a bracelet it’s an elastic band’.
‘Isolation’ is generally a room with individual desks where the children have to work for the day. They’re just not allowed to socialise with their friends. They’re not locked in a room on their own.

Some schools are just mad with the rules. I can kind of see what they're trying to do, but it's totally disproportionate to the supposed "crimes" these kids have committed. I think schools were a bit more lenient in my day - no mad pink hair or anything, but you could wear a bobble on your wrist and mark your own work in whatever pen you had without being called out for it.

The OP hasn't kept changing her story
She's already said it should have said was instead of not in her OP. She did see the scribbles. Does nobody ever make a mistake?

Some people are absolutely desperate to hunt out tiny mistakes and see conspiracy and trolling in everything. Armchair Sherlock Holmes'.

I think some school rules and reasons for isolation sound ridiculous and over the top.
I'm glad it wasn't like that when I was at high school.

There may possibly be a slight inconsistency between what the son says and what the school says (?)The scribbles might have been eg to obliterate the original drawing. ( Male appendages were a favourite in my time.) You have to trust the staff - after all they were there and we weren't.

I remember my dd coming back from a trip, recounting how she and a friend had trailed the corridors in the middle of the night looking for 'something' unspecified (!) and had been caught by one of the staff. I gave her a severe telling off too, for causing trouble to her teachers. The parent of the other girl thought it was very funny. This girl continued to push her luck and was suspended several times.

In my experience those parents who complain / laugh / find excuses for misdemeanours at school will forever have trouble coping with their teens. School and home need a united front. Otherwise teens will learn how to play off one against the other - very quickly.

Some schools are just ridiculous. My DS cut the side of his foot open and because his school shoe (slip on black shoe) didn't fit properly with the dressing on I had to send him in plain black trainers with the lace very loose on the injured foot. I even sent a note in his journal explaining why he had to wear the trainers. He got put in isolation and told if he came back in them again he'd be isolated for a week. I went up to school and had very strong words with them. Absolutely ludicrous policy, and all for the sake of him needing to wear trainers for a couple of days due to injury.

Haven’t the kids done enough isolation to last a lifetime!! What utter draconian nonsense! What’s wrong with a detention or the headmasters office.

You're taking your ds's word for why he was put in isolation OP. Don't you think it's likely that there is more to this than some scribbles on his hand? Ask the school if you are that bothered.

YANBU.

I wrote on my arm in junior school ' and Jesus washed the disciples feet because they were smelly' The teacher just told me off and said that I would have to go back to writing in pencil if I did it again. Perfectly sensible and proportionate response.

If his teacher was angry that he wasn't paying attention in class, he sure isn't paying attention when he's sitting by himself in isolation!

@Summerfun54321 a detention would be for other offences.
Head’s office? And what would happen there? The sort of kids who land in isolation wouldn’t give a rats arse about a stern telling off from the Headteacher.

This type of authoritarian approach encourages rebellion. Taking children out of their lessons for forgetting an arbitrary piece of stationery or wearing a bobble on their wrist is absolutely ridiculous and wrong, if people think that’s the most appropriate form of discipline they need retraining. I’d like my kids to behave (which they do) but also to have some free thoughts in their head. They’re beino set up for a lifetime of servitude.

I carry around baby wet wipes as part of my kit, tell the kids a huge lie about ink poisoning and sepsis then get them to wipe it off in front of me If they cannot, they get a second wipe and a definition of elbow grease/that my mother would use ajax and a scouring pad to get felt tip pen off me.
If I kicked out all self-graffitiing, budding tattoo artists, I'd have very few left to teach.

If it hasn't come off, doesn't that mean he's used permanent ink, like a sharpie or marker?

Even when I was at school, permanent markers were strictly forbidden and everywhere I've worked since, sharpies have also been banned, because they are the pens used for graffiti.

Perhaps the school rules at your DS's place are similar, so the isolation was for having a pen he isn't allowed to have, not the writing on his hand in itself?

Well behaved, but had several detentions and now two isolation punishments.

Go on, what were the detentions for?

I got suspended for having writing on my hand when I was 12/13 it was just my nickname fancied up so nothing offensive. I didnt understand why I needed to wash it off, so didnt.
I will point out at that point I was being severely bullied in school so I assumed I was just going to isolation which was much preferable to having the piss taken out of you for 5 hours.

Would they still of sent him to isolation if his pen had leaked?
A complete non issue imho.

The thing about isolation is that it removes the child causing the disruption from the class, which means that the rest of the class can carry on learning. The child still has to complete their work, but they cannot continue to disrupt the lesson. Even if that disruption is only the time spent explaining why they have broken the rules.
Detentions are not effective in the same way.