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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a ridiculous reason for DS to be put into isolation?

211 replies

varskudd · 15/07/2021 11:13

DS(15) came home from school very annoyed yesterday, he said he was put into isolation for having a drawing on his hand/wrist. He got bored so he drew on his hand with a pen, but it's not just scribbles.

Apparently, he was told to go to the toilet and wash it off and he tried to but it wouldn't come off so they sent him to isolation. He tried to get it off at home and it wouldn't, I tried to this morning and it slightly faded but it's still there.

Aibu to think this is ridiculous?

OP posts:
Original poster
varskudd · 15/07/2021 12:14

@Cooldryplace

Hmm. I think you need to find out what the drawing was from someone more likely to tell you the truth.

Also, if it couldn't be washed off, why haven't you seen it?

I don't think it was anything in particular so it wasn't inappropriate.
OP posts:
3littlemonkeys82 · 15/07/2021 12:16

My son was put in isolation because another child threw a individually sealed biscuit at him. Rather than leave it where it landed he put it in his pocket. You can't have food in your blazer pockets...isolation.

He asked if he should have left it on the floor, was told he'd have been put in isolation for littering.

He asked if he could leave the line (this was in the corridor pre class) to put it in the bin. Was told he'd got an attitude and to go to see the head teacher...he now also had detention as well as isolation.

Not allowed to leave them on the floor, not allowed to pick them up, not allowed to put them in the bin. Didn't ask the other child to throw them to him either, just a quick "DC, catch!" moment.

Honestly such a waste of everyone's time. Some schools are stricter than prisons at this point.

Cooldryplace · 15/07/2021 12:17

Ask the school why it was a reason for isolation then. It was obviously disruptive for some reason, or the final straw in a pattern of behaviour. Unless you think they give out internal exclusions for kicks?

Lemonmelonsun · 15/07/2021 12:18

Op, I'm not doubting your son, I've made my views quite clear but are you honest about your sons attitude to the teacher? Is he a polite young man!
How would he have reacted to this? Embarrassed, slight shame for disturbing the lesson, or rude with attitude?

Soubriquet · 15/07/2021 12:20

I think I would be kicking up hell everytime if teachers put my kids in isolation for pathetic reasons like that

I don’t care about being that parent. I’m on my kids team. If they mess about, break the rules deliberately, or do something that is detention/isolation worthy, then I will support the teacher 100%.

But pathetic reasons like putting a biscuit in their pocket, dropping a pencil or having doodles in their hand (providing it hasn’t affect their actual work), then I would be on my kids side and will argue with the teachers

Tal45 · 15/07/2021 12:20

It's obvious the 'not' shouldn't be there, 'but it's not just scribbles' doesn't make sense.
My DS has ASD he often writes on his hand to remind himself of things. I know writing on hands is, for some reason, discouraged at his school too but to be put isolation is ridiculous. If it was my son I'd be having a word as being able to write on his hand is very helpful due to his issues with executive function. I don't think I'd make a fuss about your ds though just say to him to follow the rules even if they are ridiculous.

Pissinthepottyplease · 15/07/2021 12:23

The story is inconsiderate here. It wasn’t scribbles but you don’t know what it was but you know it was want appropriate. That doesn’t make sense. He couldn’t wash it off yet you didn’t see it.

I think you need to ring school to find out why he is in isolation because you don’t seem to understand the situation.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/07/2021 12:26

Can you question this with the school? I do agree with good manners at school. But this is ridiculous and your ds has been blamed for someone else disrupting the class… unless it was inappropriate and your ds is hiding the fact.

Lemonmelonsun · 15/07/2021 12:27
  • years and ask about his general attitude, is there anything you should know.
Theunamedcat · 15/07/2021 12:28

Won't hand sanitiser remove it

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 15/07/2021 12:31

Jesus some of the reasons on here for kids being put into isolation! A hair bobble, biscuit and the cup?! Getting parents to view cctv of that? I think I'd have lost it at that.

Take the hair bobble for example. Everyone makes minor mistakes, it's hardly disrespectful. Can you imagine making such a tiny mistake of that ilk at work and then being punished to that degree for it? It's a completely unacceptable way to treat the kids. I'm sorry but I would have no respect for teachers or for a school who behaved like that and wouldn't expect my children to either. I also want to know if the punishment for having a hair bobble on a wrist is isolation, what happens when someone actually does something even mildly disrespectful? Are the police called?

Was not like this when I was at secondary in the early 00s. Schools seem to be more like prison camps these days.

callingon · 15/07/2021 12:34

@GreyhoundG1rl my point was more that the school might be ‘cracking down’ on this particular behaviour if there’s a lot of it going round or if they don’t want to it start going round.
It somehow is a bit different to draw on hands over paper, I’m happy to give kids paper to doodle on but they do tend to get very intense about drawing on their hands and it’s often a ‘statement’ of some kind and is not uncommonly followed by smearing ink over stuff/other classmates or, recently, rubbing it off with hand sanitiser and making a mess. It’s different if you write a note on your hand obv. Whether or not it’s worth isolation idk and I don’t think OPs son has necessarily done any of those things, just providing some context as to why hand drawing can be annoying!

canigooutyet · 15/07/2021 12:34

I don't think me saying go fuck yourself is appropriate whereas others would be pissed off @varskudd
Some parents refer to their children as little buggars, whereas some think this is inappropriate.

callingon · 15/07/2021 12:36

Also totally agree the hair bobble infringement is ridiculous and I know there are certainly schools that go power mad on enforcing stupid rules - I can sort of imagine the circumstances for this one tho even if I’m not sure I agree with it.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 15/07/2021 12:42

I have no problem with sensible rules that exist for a reason. Agree that hand-drawing could be annoying if everyone was doing it, although I'm pretty sure our teachers just cba to tell us off for this kind of thing, if we were getting on with work and not being total PITA's. Pick your battles kind of thing. Isolation seems extreme for hand drawing but who knows the full circumstances.

I was a pretty well behaved kid on the whole at school, and also went to a nice school, our teachers were good and were also fair. Not power-crazed dictators as some of them sound these days. I can't imagine how uncomfortable I would have felt at school, how miserable it would have made me feel to have been getting in trouble for having a hair bobble on my wrist and things like that. Constantly feeling like big brother is watching you and constant objection to everything you do. Poor kids.

fruitpastille · 15/07/2021 12:44

A bit of pen on a hand should be a verbal warning at the most. I can't believe anyone is defending the idea of isolation for it. My dd often has a bit of a doodle on her hand and no one has even mentioned it. Except me when she gets home and I wonder if she's washed her hands all day!

Original poster
varskudd · 15/07/2021 12:48

In my op I meant it was random scribbles. I did see it.

DS is normally well behaved at school although occasionally he does have a detention but not very often. He's also only ever had one isolation at the school apart from yesterdays which happened a while ago for refusing to do his work and shouting out.

OP posts:
Lemonmelonsun · 15/07/2021 12:48

Fruit, because people suspect there is far more too it and possibly rude, aggressive behaviour.

Hopefully op can get to the bottom of it, I'd certainly want to know either way. I'd expect dc to be polite at school, and I'd want to know if they had a reputation for difficult behaviour.

I'd also want to know more about the drawing, and why he was isolated and if it was purely for the hand then I'd raise some issues around that as well.

Lemonmelonsun · 15/07/2021 12:49

Well in that case op, Double check he's still OK and wasn't rude yesterday.

suspiria777 · 15/07/2021 12:50

OP post 1: "He got bored so he drew on his hand with a pen, but it's not just scribbles."

OP post 2: "I'm not sure what the drawing was of but it was random scribbles"

OP post 1: "He tried to get it off at home and it wouldn't, I tried to this morning and it slightly faded but it's still there"

OP post 4: " on't think it was anything in particular so it wasn't inappropriate."

hmmmmmmmmmm

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/07/2021 12:51

Hope you're in the cheap seats 😂.

Always. Stingy arse 😁

frazzledfragglefromfragglerock · 15/07/2021 12:54

Why not just email the teacher for the other side of the story? I often have parents contact me saying that what their child did didn't deserve punishment. Then I tell the how their little darling spoke to me and how many other times they'd interrupted the lesson. It may actually be that is an inappropriate punishment. But not always so check both sides!

starfishmummy · 15/07/2021 12:56

@varskudd

DS said he didn't draw it whilst he was in that teachers lesson. I'm not sure what the drawing was of but it was random scribbles and it wasn't inappropriate/rude.
My money is it being nothing to do with scribbles and there is more to this than he is telling you.
Lilypansy · 15/07/2021 12:59

Personally I absolutely hate this "isolation" thing going on.. Sounds Awful.
So what is your suggestion to enable teachers to keep a class of teenagers in order?

Lilypansy · 15/07/2021 13:02

refusing to do his work and shouting out.
He already has form for disruptive behaviour then? Hmm

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