Tradespeople using the loo

[JeanneDoe]

Want to canvas opinions here.
We had a man over to service our burglar alarm.
It’s an annual service provided by the alarm company.
I’m WFH and my home office is above the downstairs loo.
Heard the alarm guy walking around checking out the alarm points around the house. Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.
He was in there for quite a while and then I heard a toilet flush.
Turns out a rather pungent bowel movement was had.
I am a bit pissed off. I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

Well there you go then, I'm just weird.

@Sweetpeasaremadeforbees

Well there you go then, I'm just weird.

Well, you appear to be in good company.

I have certain conditions and I can’t deal with the thought of having to clean up after anyone else’s poo plus I have issues around smells just can’t deal with it

Can’t someone else deal with it then?

What if your tradesmen have issues that mean they can’t plan their bowel movements to avoid a house they’re working in? What do you expect them to do?

I'm about to book with my oven clean man again. I'll make it clear in my email that if he cleans my oven he can by all means use any toilet in the house. Just so he knows. If here's here at lunchtime I'll make him a sandwich too.

@namechangedForthus

if we ever have anyone here I have done it so I can lock and unlock from outside the room I just run a tap in there and say someone’s in the shower sorry

Wow, aren't you delightful, thoughtful and hospitable?

@TheKeatingFive

I have certain conditions and I can’t deal with the thought of having to clean up after anyone else’s poo plus I have issues around smells just can’t deal with it

Can’t someone else deal with it then?

What if your tradesmen have issues that mean they can’t plan their bowel movements to avoid a house they’re working in? What do you expect them to do?

Anything except poo in my house

I can’t deal with it, I just can’t. I have ocd about germs and stomach bugs and mess

I have sensory issues due to asd about smells and this is my home and i don’t want to have to deal with that in my safe place If it’s a dc unwell etc it’s different I’m used to them but I don’t want to have anything to do with the smell/mess/germs of a stranger

@HPLikecraft no I’m actually awful about this I know but it’s my home where I want to feel safe and that’s just that
If it makes me seem horrible I’ll take that hit. I’m not horrible and I’m just trying to keep myself functioning and not have a shutdown

but I don’t want to have anything to do with the smell/mess/germs of a stranger

Well if no one else is available to sort this, I suggest you take care of any work that needs to be done yourself.

You’re not the only person in the world with issues to be accommodated.

@TheKeatingFive

but I don’t want to have anything to do with the smell/mess/germs of a stranger

Well if no one else is available to sort this, I suggest you take care of any work that needs to be done yourself.

You’re not the only person in the world with issues to be accommodated.

So far it’s worked ok I’ll have to take the risk we rarely need work doing luckily and on the odd occasion someone has asked which has rarely happened I’ve done as above or said sorry no

In my home my needs come first I spent my life to a point not advocating for myself and when I started I felt so much better so o won’t ever put myself in situations in my own home where I feel uncomfortable

I think it would be wise to not get any tradesmen in if that's the situation as it's quite unfair. A plumber can presumably tell that it's a running tap and not a shower if he hears it. And what if it's the shower they've come to fix?
And when it's a long job how long will that tap be running for?

If you don't want to have anything to do with the smell/mess/germs of a stranger don't get them round to your house to fix stuff.

[quote makingmyway10]@TheKeatingFive do you really point out the loo to every person coming to your house to fix something? Obviously a guest or someone working there for a number of hours but
he was only there for 15/20 mins maximum.

I am not sure that your rather rude initial response to my post qualifies you to judge what is well brought up or good manners [/quote]
Swearing does not indicate being dragged up.

Being thoughtless, hostile, and interrogating someone doing work in your home, however, does indicate it.

Dragged up :)

I would love if you spoke to my DF like that if he was working in your home. I'd make damn well sure you knew you were dragged up.

I always offer the loo, make tea and biscuits for anyone working in my home. However, when my neighbour at the back had some work done on their retaining wall, the workers were often at the back of my garden. I did not offer them sustenance as they were not in my employ. Was I in the wrong?

Pretty low to expect others to work in your house and make them feel uncomfortable though.

What if they have bowel issues and your actions would make them physically unwell?

There are ways to treat people in your employment. Denying loo access is pretty appalling.

Sorry that was for namechange

@TheKeatingFive

Pretty low to expect others to work in your house and make them feel uncomfortable though.

What if they have bowel issues and your actions would make them physically unwell?

There are ways to treat people in your employment. Denying loo access is pretty appalling.

There are ways to treat people in your employment. Denying loo access is pretty appalling

Indeed.

I did not offer them sustenance as they were not in my employ. Was I in the wrong?

Nope that was your neighbour’s job

In my home my needs come first I spent my life to a point not advocating for myself and when I started I felt so much better so o won’t ever put myself in situations in my own home where I feel uncomfortable

But you'll get people in to do work for you and make them worse than uncomfortable? Potentially ill or in pain?

Your home is their workplace for the day and they're there because you wanted use of their skills and services. Your needs aren't the only ones that matter under those circumstances.

At the very least, you should tell them beforehand that they aren't allowed to use your toilet. Then they can make an informed choice about whether they want to work for you. I wouldn't.

@DrSbaitso

In my home my needs come first I spent my life to a point not advocating for myself and when I started I felt so much better so o won’t ever put myself in situations in my own home where I feel uncomfortable

But you'll get people in to do work for you and make them worse than uncomfortable? Potentially ill or in pain?

Your home is their workplace for the day and they're there because you wanted use of their skills and services. Your needs aren't the only ones that matter under those circumstances.

At the very least, you should tell them beforehand that they aren't allowed to use your toilet. Then they can make an informed choice about whether they want to work for you. I wouldn't.

It hasn’t happened often at all. As I said I rarely need anyone here to do any work and if I have it’s been for a short time not a whole day for example so I’m just hoping it’s pretty much a non issue

And anyway, this being my home my safe space trumps anyone else’s need for anything whilst here . If someone then decides to leave and not finish a job because of that they are well within their rights id pay them in full and that would be that

If someone then decides to leave and not finish a job because of that they are well within their rights id pay them in full and that would be that

DrSbaitso is right, the correct thing to do is let them know beforehand and they can make up their mind whether to take the job or not.

Half finished work isn’t a good outcome for anyone.

And anyway, this being my home my safe space trumps anyone else’s need for anything whilst here . If someone then decides to leave and not finish a job because of that they are well within their rights id pay them in full and that would be that

Doesn't seem to trump your desire to get work done by people who have the skills you lack...

They have a right to know before they arrive, not at the moment of need, even if you do graciously allow them to leave at that point, paid or not.

Tell them when you are making the booking that they won't be allowed to use your toilet. They can then make an informed decision about whether they want to work for you under those circumstances.

I assume there's a reason you don't actually tell them beforehand as you should...

@DrSbaitso

And anyway, this being my home my safe space trumps anyone else’s need for anything whilst here . If someone then decides to leave and not finish a job because of that they are well within their rights id pay them in full and that would be that

Doesn't seem to trump your desire to get work done by people who have the skills you lack...

They have a right to know before they arrive, not at the moment of need, even if you do graciously allow them to leave at that point, paid or not.

Tell them when you are making the booking that they won't be allowed to use your toilet. They can then make an informed decision about whether they want to work for you under those circumstances.

I assume there's a reason you don't actually tell them beforehand as you should...

Because I don’t like talking to people I have selective mutism so when they get here it can be difficult to say more than I need to / am able to

I go by the hope that the problem doesn’t arise tbh

I’m just being honest this is just how it is for me

Because I don’t like talking to people I have selective mutism so when they get here it can be difficult to say more than I need to / am able to

Email or text then. Sheesh.

I think you are missing the point. I was annoyed that he did not ask but the issue was that all the Covid precautions were pointless if he used the loo with out asking as if I had not heard him go in there I would not have known to clean it.
I am not a snob nor do I treat tradespeople badly

I have been lucky enough to have plenty of amazing people working in and on my house right now and I most certainly do not ‘look down ‘ on them there is mutual respect all round. The regular tradespeople know where the loo is and I am more than happy for them to use it they don’t ask every time. This man was a stranger and only in my house for 15 mins and was (quite rightly) insistent that I complied with the Covid safety procedures but then just ruined it by going into a separate room to use the loo.

That was my issue . I was annoyed with him but took it up with him, he said that I was right and apologised. That was the end of it.

Not sure why I deserve all the nasty comments but hey ho.

And yes if he ever comes back he is welcome to use the loo. At least he knows where is now

I’m going to leave this thread now, I don’t need to justify myself anymore this is another thing I promised myself that I wouldn’t justify or apologise for my behaviours not after the things I’ve been through. This is just how I conduct myself and I’m putting myself first because for too long I didn’t and it made me ill

Sorry OP for taking your thread off a bit

Because I don’t like talking to people I have selective mutism so when they get here it can be difficult to say more than I need to / am able to

You do "need" to tell them this somehow. Maybe by email. Ask a trusted friend. Do something. They have a right to know that they won't have toilet access on site for as long as the job takes. If you can book the job, you can find a way of letting them know this. You are well aware of your own needs, so remember theirs matter too. They have a right to know what their working conditions under you will be.