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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradespeople using the loo

464 replies

JeanneDoe · 14/07/2021 09:53

Want to canvas opinions here.
We had a man over to service our burglar alarm.
It’s an annual service provided by the alarm company.
I’m WFH and my home office is above the downstairs loo.
Heard the alarm guy walking around checking out the alarm points around the house. Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.
He was in there for quite a while and then I heard a toilet flush.
Turns out a rather pungent bowel movement was had.
I am a bit pissed off. I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
DragonDoor · 15/07/2021 02:24

He could have been caught short, or it’s possible that he didn’t want to disturb you if you were in your office.

It’s unusual for people to have a problem with visitors using their toilet- unless they are of course (gasp)...tradespeople. How horrible for you OP.

MurielSpriggs · 15/07/2021 02:27

@IHateScottBrick

When we moved into our brand new home, I saw one of the movers coming out of the bathroom, having evidently just used the toilet. I felt kind of weird that a stranger ended up being the first person to use our toilet but I guess he had to go somewhere!
If the first person to use your toilet is working class, does that make your toilet lavatory a working class bog lavatory? Could nice ladies catch common-as-muck disorder from the seat?? 😱
FootballisgoingtoRome · 15/07/2021 02:33

Using a toilet is preferable to shitting in ones pants

Mandalay246 · 15/07/2021 02:55

Oh for goodness sake .........

UnChatNoir · 15/07/2021 05:46

@seashells11

Stinking out someone's house who you don't even know is disgusting. I also think it's damn rude.
Shut up 😂😂😂
makingmyway10 · 15/07/2021 06:12

Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it.

cravingmilkshake · 15/07/2021 06:25

It's literally what toilets are for 🤷🏻‍♀️

WeHaveComeSoFar · 15/07/2021 06:36

@makingmyway10

Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it.
Jesus.
DrSbaitso · 15/07/2021 06:55

@makingmyway10

Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it.
You should have been much more embarrassed.
Gameofbones · 15/07/2021 07:00

@makingmyway10 Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it

So you humiliated him? You fucking snob. How do you know he didn’t have hand gel on him?

As someone said unthread I haven’t heard one complaint of a midwife, HV, beautician popping to the loo. Just god forbid tradespeople

Gosh how very dare they? Don’t they know their place?

It’s beginning to read like The Help.

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 07:09

So you humiliated him? You fucking snob. How do you know he didn’t have hand gel on him?

I know right? This poster has no fucking manners. Absolutely dragged up.

WeHaveComeSoFar · 15/07/2021 07:16

@TheKeatingFive

So you humiliated him? You fucking snob. How do you know he didn’t have hand gel on him?

I know right? This poster has no fucking manners. Absolutely dragged up.

Yep.

My wonderful DF is a tradesman and I'd like to find anyone that dared speak to him like that.

Sparklingbrook · 15/07/2021 07:23

@makingmyway10

Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it.
I have no idea where to start with this.
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 15/07/2021 07:27

@IHateScottBrick

When we moved into our brand new home, I saw one of the movers coming out of the bathroom, having evidently just used the toilet. I felt kind of weird that a stranger ended up being the first person to use our toilet but I guess he had to go somewhere!
You've not really engaged your brain much, have you? Do you honestly think that the builders / tradespeople who built the house hadn't already used it?

Where do you think the kitchen fitter went? Or the tiler? Carpet fitter? Painters? Flooring fitters? Electrician?

Those things will likely all have been done after the plumbing, so they will have all used that loo before you moved in.

Your loo is solidly working class. Grin

MimiDaisy11 · 15/07/2021 07:41

If the OP was in their office upstairs, do you really expect a tradesperson to go looking for them to ask permission to go to the toilet? That’s just mad. I would find it weird if someone came upstairs to ask my permission to go to the toilet.

NerrSnerr · 15/07/2021 07:46

@MimiDaisy11

If the OP was in their office upstairs, do you really expect a tradesperson to go looking for them to ask permission to go to the toilet? That’s just mad. I would find it weird if someone came upstairs to ask my permission to go to the toilet.
I can just imagine on the thread 'AUBU to be cross that a tradesman interrupted an important zoom meeting to ask if he could use the toilet?'
Sparklingbrook · 15/07/2021 07:51

I can just imagine on the thread 'AUBU to be cross that a tradesman interrupted an important zoom meeting to ask if he could use the toilet?'

Exactly. Everyone would be saying how he really should not have done that.

peachcherries · 15/07/2021 08:03

Has it crossed your mind he maybe living with a bowel disease? Unfortunately when a flare up is active, it's go to the toilet right then or shit yourself. It's an awful disease to live with and to be quite honest people like yourself op infuriate me due to your short sidedness. This is harsh but I really hope one day you have the urgency to go in someone else's house and feel how humiliating it can be. The world doesn't need narrow minded people like you who judge others for natural body functions.

HPLikecraft · 15/07/2021 08:05

@makingmyway10

Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it.
I love how many exclamation marks there are in this. That poster was, and clearly still is, completely outraged 😂

He looked mortified that he’d been caught out!

I doubt that. He’d have been surprised and bewildered at the fuss you were making, that’s all. No one is “caught out” going to the toilet. It’s not a dirty, perverted secret, it’s something we all do.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 15/07/2021 08:09

No one is “caught out” going to the toilet. It’s not a dirty, perverted secret, it’s something we all do

Yes, we all shit and we all piss!

LakieLady · 15/07/2021 08:12

@Sparklingbrook

A toilet that can’t cope with poo? Sad
A toilet you can't shit in is a pretty useless item imo. I had no idea such things existed.

I don't get this precious attitude to other people using toilets in your home. Is it just tradies that shouldn't do it, or does it apply to guests as well? And if someone asks to use your bog, do you interrogate them as to what they want to use it for before agreeing?

I've had 3 lots of contractors here over the last few months, and I've always made sure they know they have unlimited access to the lav, the kettle, tea, coffee etc while they're here. They have all been perfectly respectful and none of them have left a mess of any sort.

LakieLady · 15/07/2021 08:21

[quote NerrSnerr]@Sparklingbrook I'm a community nurse and do sometimes ask to use the toilet (not since Covid, but we're in houses for less time at the moment). I'm usually at someone's house for an hour, sometimes longer and we have limited time between visits.

I do have an internal list of people who I think wouldn't mind and there are some I would only ask if I was desperate. [/quote]
My previous job involved home visits and I often used to use clients' toilets. Especially when I was working rurally and there were no public ones for miles. No-one ever refused.

Some clients' houses were so filthy that I wouldn't dream of asking though, and I used to make sure that I had appointments in clean houses either side, so I could have a wee if necessary. That went awry on a couple of occasions, when those clients were out and I had to stop and wee in the woods!

Rach212 · 15/07/2021 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 15/07/2021 08:52

Actually we've got a toilet you can't shit in!

Our house was built in the 80s, very weird plumbing and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't pass building regs. Anyway, the downstairs loo has two 90 degree bends plus issues with the downward angle of the pipe (can't remember the technical term for that) and no inspection chamber and the slightest bit of loo roll blocks it so it has basically become a toilet for men to wee in. (DH cleans it because I'm buggered if I'll clean a loo that I can't use.) One day we'll get round to having our drive dug up to fix it but until then if we have visitors I warn them to use the upstairs loo.

If someone used our loo for a shit without asking they'd probably block it and then cause it to overflow with their continuous flushing.

I'm not convinced it's a tradesman issue. Whenever we've had builders, electricians etc in our house I've always provided drinks, had no issue with them using the loo (if they're there for a few hours of course they should have access to a loo) but a stranger who I met maybe half an hour ago? Having read enough threads on here about men not cleaning their shit off toilets thinking there's a toilet fairy who does that /men thinking it's fine to spend half an hour sat on the loo/delivery men thinking it's ok to ask to come in to use your toilet for a shit and then leave it in a mess yes I would be wary of letting a strange man use the toilet.

Jericha · 15/07/2021 09:22

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

If only to ask which towel to use Grin Please ma'am can oi be so lucky as to borrow your lavvy? Very kind ma'am, and which of your magical towels should I use to dry my clean yet common hands on? Very kind of youGrin
I like this post! I couldn't get worked up about this. Unless he smeared his shit up the walls or left it wallowing in the toilet bowl for their next visitor I'd just sympathise that he doesn't have the luxury of going to the loo unnoticed in his own home