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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradespeople using the loo

464 replies

JeanneDoe · 14/07/2021 09:53

Want to canvas opinions here.
We had a man over to service our burglar alarm.
It’s an annual service provided by the alarm company.
I’m WFH and my home office is above the downstairs loo.
Heard the alarm guy walking around checking out the alarm points around the house. Then heard him in the bathroom. Didn’t think there was a motion sensor in there.
He was in there for quite a while and then I heard a toilet flush.
Turns out a rather pungent bowel movement was had.
I am a bit pissed off. I know I’m unreasonable (and a bit precious) that I hate people that don’t live in my house taking a dump in my house.
But AIBU that he should have at least asked me if he could use our bathroom?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 15/07/2021 09:37

Stinking out someone's house who you don't even know is disgusting. I also think it's damn rude.

When our DS was born - and we hadn't even had chance to get to know him - he then proceeded to stink out the house for the next couple of years. Didn't even ask to use the toilet (or anywhere) - just sat there and did it. Such an appalling display of shocking manners - I really do blame the parents.

It never ceases to amaze me how many MNers seem to believe that:

  1. Pooing is entirely voluntary as to where/when you go and can be planned hours or days in advance - if you must lower yourself to participating in this disgusting hobby at all;
  2. Poo only stinks if you deliberately make it so - primarily to demonstrate your deep-rooted misogyny and to show aggression;
  3. Their poo never stinks. As a PP said, though, if you were to organise an identity poorade with a Brucie-style conveyer belt featuring tradesmen's poo and virtuously perfect MNers' poo (with a few middle-of-the-road control samples from working-class women with slatternly values), I'd love to know how you'd ever tell the difference.

I know MN includes everybody and not just mums, but there must be some mums on here, surely?! Aside from all of the muck and smells that a baby brings you, any surprise involuntary natal clinker launched on to a bed, whilst surrounded by (HCP) strangers, has to be at least as 'uncouth' as a poo from a tradie's bottom that gets deposited cleanly in a toilet and then instantly flushed away.

Gameofbones · 15/07/2021 09:38

@iamtheoneandonlyyy Grin

Begging your pardon ma’am, doffs cap, tugs forelock. I’m ever so humble thank you for allowing me to undertake my daily ablutions in your toilet I’ve never seen such luxury as to this avocado bathroom suite.

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2021 09:46

🎶 Shit in the toilet, step in time, shit in the toilet step in time, never need a reason, never need a rhyme, shit in the toilet step in time... 🎶

Port1aCastis · 15/07/2021 10:00

@DrSbaitso

🎶 Shit in the toilet, step in time, shit in the toilet step in time, never need a reason, never need a rhyme, shit in the toilet step in time... 🎶
Grin Grin Step in the toilet ra ra roo but not allowed to do a poo
Gameofbones · 15/07/2021 10:01

@DrSbaitso please this is very very serious.

A tradesperson, commoner of all things laid a cable.

makingmyway10 · 15/07/2021 10:05

I seem to have created a fuss with my post Smile

@WeHaveComeSoFar no not Jesus just a boiler man , I might have let Jesus off
No am not a snob , I just think the boiler man should have asked first! I would never go to someone’s house and I presume to use the loo without asking! It has nothing to do with him being a ‘tradesperson’! How do you know that I am not a ‘tradesperson’ myself?

@thekeatingfive no I was definitely not dragged up that is why I am annoyed that he was not well mannered I think swearing at a random stranger might suggest that you might be the one dragged up.

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand I think he was embarrassed that he was ‘caught out’ not asking rather than needing to go.

@hplikecraft I was annoyed but certainly not outraged Smile

Just so you know my house is very old and we do have an old tradesperson/servants/help cloakroom in the out building and I would not ask ‘the help’ Hmm to use it. Happy to let them use the one inside if they just ask Smile

Honestly talk about jumping to conclusions about a poster Confused

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 10:10

no I was definitely not dragged up that is why I am annoyed that he was not well mannered

Anyone making a fuss about someone doing a honest days work using their loo us absolutely dragged up. No common decency whatsoever.

Why are you so obsessed with him asking? So you have the option of saying no presumably otherwise why would you be so concerned?

As other people have pointed out, a polite, well brought up person would point out where the loo is to anyone doing work in your home and make it clear they’re free to use it whenever. That’s good manners.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 15/07/2021 10:12

Gotta be better a poo in the loo than a cable on the table.

makingmyway10 · 15/07/2021 10:17

@TheKeatingFive do you really point out the loo to every person coming to your house to fix something? Obviously a guest or someone working there for a number of hours but
he was only there for 15/20 mins maximum.

I am not sure that your rather rude initial response to my post qualifies you to judge what is well brought up or good manners Smile

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2021 10:19

What do you think the Queen does when she's got the builders in?

Sparklingbrook · 15/07/2021 10:19

I seem to have created a fuss with my post

Can't imagine why that might be...

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 15/07/2021 10:19

@makingmyway10
You are very clearly a massive snob. Stop digging.

Do you expect everyone who visits your home to ask permission to visit the loo? Or just the working class oiks tradespeople?

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 15/07/2021 10:19

@makingmyway10

Op I am with you! He should have asked, it is not ok to use the loo in a strangers house without asking! During lockdown we had a problem with our boiler and a gas engineer had to come out. He was wearing a mask and gloves and asked for all windows and doors to be open. This was absolutely fine and of course I complied however I was horrified that whilst I was waiting in the other room he used my cloakroom without asking!!! That was not Covid safe , he then proceeded to carry on his work without washing his hands! I know this because the sink is outside the loo ! I was embarrassed but outrightly asked him if he used the loo. He looked a bit sheepish but said yes so I asked him why he did not ask first and that he had no right to use my loo without asking as it would have to be cleaned because of Covid! There is no point in having all the Covid safe rules complied with if he then used my loo without letting me know and also it was rude! I then also asked him to wash his hands ! He looked mortified that he had been caught out! He did apologise and said that he should not have done it.
Bloody hell that poor workman! What is wrong with you?!
TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 10:19

I am not sure that your rather rude initial response to my post qualifies you to judge what is well brought up or good manners

Think what you like. Anyone who treats people the way you do is an utter arsehole in my book. 😉😉

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 15/07/2021 10:20

I don't get this "they should ask first" - if you're always going to say 'yes' then what's the problem? Seems like a power/control issue to me

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2021 10:24

@makingmyway10, you shamed and embarrassed someone who was in your home to do work for you for absolutely no decent reason. What do you think manners are supposed to be for?

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 10:27

I don't get this "they should ask first" - if you're always going to say 'yes' then what's the problem? Seems like a power/control issue to me

Exactly.

bigbluebus · 15/07/2021 10:41

Reminds me of when we recommended a local roofing company to some friends. When the job had been done, friend commented to us that the firm obviously employed a better class of roofer. He had drawn this conclusion from the fact they had asked if it was OK if they had a p*ss in his garden!

gollymissdolly · 15/07/2021 10:48

Yes,he should have asked first but when you've gotta go you gotta go.
I suffer from IBS and there's no way I could hold back a poo.
Poor guy could have felt embarrassed that he had to actually poo in your loo.

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2021 10:49

Poor guy could have felt embarrassed that he had to actually poo in your loo.

Well if he wasn't before, he certainly was by the time she'd finished with him.

namechangedForthus · 15/07/2021 10:51

if we ever have anyone here I have done it so I can lock and unlock from outside the room I just run a tap in there and say someone’s in the shower sorry

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 15/07/2021 10:52

I don't get this "they should ask first" - if you're always going to say 'yes' then what's the problem? Seems like a power/control issue to me

Well I guess I'm just weird then. If I go round a friend's house for a coffee I'll say 'could I just use your loo please' (not if I'm staying overnight, then I think you just become like a member of their family) and they do the same to me. Confused I fully expect them to let me, but it would feel rude not to ask.

namechangedForthus · 15/07/2021 10:52

I have certain conditions and I can’t deal with the thought of having to clean up after anyone else’s poo plus I have issues around smells just can’t deal with it

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2021 10:55

@Sweetpeasaremadeforbees

I don't get this "they should ask first" - if you're always going to say 'yes' then what's the problem? Seems like a power/control issue to me

Well I guess I'm just weird then. If I go round a friend's house for a coffee I'll say 'could I just use your loo please' (not if I'm staying overnight, then I think you just become like a member of their family) and they do the same to me. Confused I fully expect them to let me, but it would feel rude not to ask.

You ask your friends for permission to use the loo when you're round for coffee?

But it's not necessary when you're staying over?

I have never heard that thought process before.

Sparklingbrook · 15/07/2021 10:55

@namechangedForthus

if we ever have anyone here I have done it so I can lock and unlock from outside the room I just run a tap in there and say someone’s in the shower sorry
How do you mean? A tap doesn't sound like a shower, and what a waste of water. if I ran a tap in the loo/bathroom you'd never hear it outside. To stop someone using the loo?

Or have I misunderstood?