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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister’s children should share a bedroom?

298 replies

agorina · 13/07/2021 20:02

Going on a week away in the UK with dsis’ family.

There are 4 ‘kids’, two of mine, and my sister’s two.

There are three bedrooms for between the four.

We used to do this holiday every year, but have not for the last two years.

My kids (!) are aged 23 (m) and 26 (m). Dsis kids are 15(m) and 17 (f).

Every other year, my youngest son, and his male cousin have shared a room. Now that my ds is 23 and has moved out etc, he’s said he’s not keen on sharing. My eldest ds gets his own room, as does my niece. My niece has already assumed that she is getting her own room.

AIBU to think that my sister’s kids should share a room seeing as they are closer in age?

OP posts:
Micemakingclothes · 14/07/2021 01:30

I would expect the two oldest to share in this scenario. If you take this trip again, I would look into alternate accommodations. As the “kids” grow, sometimes the same place doesn’t work anymore. Or you might even need to consider that the room arrangements for the older generation need to adjust. Obviously who is paying for this trip plays into things, but I’m also wondering if this is a family vacation home, not a holiday let.

Gooseysgirl · 14/07/2021 01:31

Rent a bigger house... if the 23 and 26 year olds want their own rooms they should be paying for it. Although I really don't see the issue with brother and sister sharing for a few days on hols.

cuparfull · 14/07/2021 01:49

Your sons should share but allow them the choice of room.

notthemum · 14/07/2021 02:10

WTAF ? Are you mad ? It is not acceptable for opposite gender teenagers to have to share a room. Whether or not they are brother and sister.

Why are your ADULT sons going on holiday with you anyway ? Surely they don't still live at home and if they do they should contributing.
As I think a pp said, why can't you share with your sister it is only a week. ?

81Byerley · 14/07/2021 02:32

Give the girl and the 23 year old their own rooms and put the other two together.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/07/2021 02:35

OP not been back?

Shocked I tell you.

ElderMillennial · 14/07/2021 02:36

It makes sense for two of the boys to share and for your niece to have her own room

Can't you just find somewhere with more space?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/07/2021 03:03

Two of the males should share, whether it be the brothers or the cousins.
The female gets her own room.

ChargingBuck · 14/07/2021 03:41

What a very strange post, & how odd that the OP has not returned to it even once for "advice" on her "situation". Or contributed to anybody else's threads, even once, under this username.

user1481840227 · 14/07/2021 04:48

Not sure why one of your sons used to share with his cousin instead of your other son....you're saying at 21 your son shared with his 13 year old cousin instead of his 24 year old brother, that's just odd!!!

Undertheoldlindentree · 14/07/2021 05:15

The two adult brothers should share whichever room is set up for that (twin beds rather than double?). Your sisters children get a room each. Or, can your sister share with her DD (assuming no partner and that would free up a room?). It's just a week and surely a holiday with family is more important than bickering over rooms. The one absolute is that the teenage girl should not be sharing with a boy, whether brother or cousin.

Musicaltheatremum · 14/07/2021 05:22

My kids often shared on holidays as teenagers. Boy and girl 2 years apart. Boy younger. It was fine. We spent 2 weeks in America with the 3 of us sharing a room. They both respected each others privacy. They enjoyed it and at 26 and 28 now they look back on it and laugh about the fun times.

garlictwist · 14/07/2021 06:00

Not sure what's wrong with teenagers of different sexes sharing a room on holiday. They are siblings! To be honest there's no idea combination really. Maybe toss a coin?

Carandi · 14/07/2021 06:45

Can't be arsed to RTFT as I can see the OP never returned. What I find incredible, and it may have already been said, is that two men aged 23 and 26 want to go away for a week with their mum, aunt and teenaged cousins. At that age their usually away with their mates or girlfriends.

QuillBill · 14/07/2021 06:56

But it never seemed a big deal if I had to share a room for a few days on holiday with my brother when we were teens. We used to go hostelling/camping and sharing with my brother was never a problem or with other kids this age. Its not like it's the same bed. Can't see a problem here.

Again, that's great. But the 15year old in this case can see a problem with it.

maddiemookins16mum · 14/07/2021 07:23

It took me a minute or so to realise they weren’t all toddlers 🤣.
They’re adults (yours), I’d be booking (and sharing the cost) a cottage or adjoining cottages with rooms for everyone that does not want to share.

DarceyDashwood · 14/07/2021 07:26

Obviously unreasonable to think the teenage brother and sister should share.

SingingInTheShithouse · 14/07/2021 07:56

YABVVVU

You cannot expect a 15 yo girl, to share with her 17yo brother, FFS, can you really not remember being 15Confused way to go to ruin their holiday.

C8H10N4O2 · 14/07/2021 08:05

Well the OP doesn't seem to be coming back. Perhaps they only joined to discuss the urgent issue of mixed sex teens sharing a bedroom.

Pottedpalm · 14/07/2021 08:09

@notthemum

WTAF ? Are you mad ? It is not acceptable for opposite gender teenagers to have to share a room. Whether or not they are brother and sister. Why are your ADULT sons going on holiday with you anyway ? Surely they don't still live at home and if they do they should contributing. As I think a pp said, why can't you share with your sister it is only a week. ?
My DTs ( M/F) were very happy to share a room for a few nights of a California road trip. It meant we could stay at Shutters on the Beach in two rooms; three would break the budget. And why should ADULT children not go on holiday with the family? Ours do, from time to time. I enjoy it more if one or both are with us, they are great company.
MadeOfStarStuff · 14/07/2021 08:10

This is obviously a reverse. OPs adult children having a tantrum because they want teenagers of opposite sex to share so they don’t have to? “Your” grown adults children should share because they’re similar age and same sex, and being adults, if they’re not happy they can choose not to tag along.

illly · 14/07/2021 08:11

It is entirely unreasonable to expect a teenage girl to share with one of the boys so your boys can have their own rooms

The girl should get a room and the boys can fight it out for the other 2.

And if it's an issue get a place with more bedrooms next time,

BruceAndNosh · 14/07/2021 08:14

The only thing worse than a reverse is a reverse with a disappearing OP

Holly60 · 14/07/2021 08:36

The girl should have her own room. But the boys can absolutely share.

LookItsMeAgain · 14/07/2021 08:45

@Iloveacurry

Actually you should share a room with your sister, then all the “kids” can have their own rooms.
2 adult sisters in 1 room

2 other rooms....how are you working out that all the "kids" can have their own rooms" if there are 4 other people...I'm just not seeing the maths here ....