To be absolutely fucking sick of this life

[cricketmum84]

I have two DC. One aged 16 and one 12.

I have been disabled and unable to walk since Christmas. It's a long term health condition that I found out a few days ago that I'm not going to recover from.

The DC will do NOTHING. literally nothing.

DH is out of the house for work from 7.45am until 6pm Monday to Friday then is having to do all cleaning, cooking. Washing, ironing etc on top of his full time job as I'm not able to do it.

It actually cost me £20 in bribes last week just to get the kids to clean the cat trays and vacuum.

What the fuck do I do? I'm tempted to get a cleaner and pay them with their pocket money until they buck their ideas up.

I'm just totally beaten down.

The 16 year old has just told me to fuck off and die because I suggested that being unable to use your legs was a bit worse than being autistic.

@cricketmum84

We've also had another chat, just the three of us and agreed on a list of chores and monetary value for each one. I got a hug and an apology from the older one and I also apologised for losing my rag yesterday.

They have both promised to help more.

That's a great update.

Awesome! Glad to hear its improved!

That's great news !

@ThumbWitchesAbroad this is what the physio team have given me today!!

Cups of tea all day every day!

Amazing! So pleased for you Cricket

Her attitude has completely changed in the space of 24 hours.

I've had 3 hugs which is so so out of the ordinary as she usually struggles with physical interaction.

I feel like we have really turned a corner.

I spoke to both girls tonight and asked if they would be open to joining a young carers group but neither of them were open to it. That's fine I will let them know that the groups are out there and support is available if it's needed.

They are both happy with the chart though and have both said they will help. They are already arguing about who is going to iron because that attracts the most money 😂😂

Sorry if this sounds harsh OP but they are kids and it isn't their fault that you've fallen ill - miserable and unfair as it is for you - and it's also not their job to be your carer. It's a shame your eldest hasn't stepped up a bit of his own accord, but maturity levels are slim at 16. That will change in a couple of years.
I think you need to take your frustration at your DC behaving like normal but nevertheless irritating cleaners out of the equation for a bit. You need to sit down with your DH and make a plan. Sounds like as a family you will need to find money for a regular cleaner and maybe to take care of the laundry too. What else might you need to pay for now? It might be upsetting to think about it but you need to be realistic. What can you afford? What's a stretch? What can you give up Instead to find the money? Have you looked into any benefits you might now be able to claim now you have your long term diagnosis?
I'm sorry you're going through this, it sucks. I hope you can find a way to make things easier for you while also allowing your kids to behave like, well, kids. Which is: selfish.

Oh just seen all the updates... oops.

@cricketmum84

Her attitude has completely changed in the space of 24 hours.

I've had 3 hugs which is so so out of the ordinary as she usually struggles with physical interaction.

I feel like we have really turned a corner.

I spoke to both girls tonight and asked if they would be open to joining a young carers group but neither of them were open to it. That's fine I will let them know that the groups are out there and support is available if it's needed.

They are both happy with the chart though and have both said they will help. They are already arguing about who is going to iron because that attracts the most money 😂😂

Love it, gorgeous girls ♥

Just read your updates OP and really pleased to hear things seem to be looking up for you all.

I'm pleased things are improving between you and your DDs.

[quote cricketmum84]@ThumbWitchesAbroad this is what the physio team have given me today!!

Cups of tea all day every day! [/quote]
Brilliant! So much better for you now! and also !

Also really pleased that the girls have turned a corner and things have massively improved - maybe that blow up needed to happen to air everything.
Hope they keep up the good work!

So pleased that things are getting better between you and your girls. Hugs are the best, especially the rarely given type

@cricketmum84

This is what we have agreed on.

They will mark down on a notebook what they have done each week and pocket money will be based on this.

I really don't think I'm asking a lot!

I might even give the DH pocket money too 😂😂

Great update. You might need to add simple steps for them for things like cleaning the bathroom then get DH to show them through the steps the first time. Mine are younger, but my middle Autistic boy really needs everything broken down, simple single step directions. Eldest doesn't, but struggles with anxiety which shows as anger, including screaming things like I want to die and throwing things at walls. I've been sick the whole of my DCs lives, but recent worsening of my chronic illness has been really scary for our eldest. It's hard and scary all round. I don't always remember, in the moment, that it's hard for them too.

DD(16) has come downstairs, kicked off that DD(12) had left the kitchen in a mess and is now cleaning it. Please send help. I’m not sure who she is or how she got here xx

You mean DD16 is cleaning it!?! Well miracles! Enjoy it - and give yourself parent of the year award!

Whoever suggested a list of chores with monetary rewards is a bloody genius.

The 12 year old just asked me where the mop is kept.

You are all amazing. Can someone please pinch me to convince me I'm not dreaming!??

Aah that is fantastic news OP 💐

Such brilliant updates 🌟 🌟
Give yourself a medal OP, and big kisses for your girls.

Ahh good news OP. So glad things are a bit better.

'kinell, that's a turnaround all right!

Hurrah, and long may it last!