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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder who these hooligans are?

142 replies

Sandinmyknickers · 12/07/2021 11:45

I'm sure we are all sickened by some of the footage and images of horrendous, violent antics by some England fans last night. I really dont have the words to describe them- thugs, hooligans, vandals, Neanderthals...take your pick

But AIBU to ask...are any of them your DS or DP/DH? And if so, what are your thoughts on their behaviour?

Everyone seems to be outraged at their behaviour.. but yet noone seems to know them? They all must be someones DS or maybe DP surely? They must have families? And looking at the footage there were loads of them?!

Did any of your male family members (I know there were some women but it is overwhelmingly male) go out causing havoc on the streets last night throwing bottles, fighting, getting naked etc (not just general pub beers)? How do you feel about it? I genuinely cant get my head around it. Are they respectable people normally?

OP posts:
caringcarer · 12/07/2021 11:50

I doubt anyone would admit to being related to such thugs. Disgraceful behaviour though and trolling on social media accounts too. Terrible as none of the players would miss a penalty on purpose. It will probably haunt them forever.

My husband and sons were at home with me all night with an a takeaway, bottle of wine and some berries and cherries cider. We all went to bed after disappointment.

KitKatKit · 12/07/2021 11:51

I've been sat here thinking the same thing.

Every single thug throwing punches, every single keyboard warrior spurting racist abuse online - they are someone's son, husband, brother, friend!

Where are their families? Their network?

FloconDeNeige · 12/07/2021 11:54

So, this is actually women’s fault, then? WTAF? Can’t men take responsibility for their own atrocious behaviour?

mysterymile · 12/07/2021 11:55

Where does the OP say it's women's fault?!

Coronawireless · 12/07/2021 11:55

@FloconDeNeige

So, this is actually women’s fault, then? WTAF? Can’t men take responsibility for their own atrocious behaviour?
Why be so defensive?
araiwa · 12/07/2021 12:04

@FloconDeNeige

So, this is actually women’s fault, then? WTAF? Can’t men take responsibility for their own atrocious behaviour?
You're getting outraged at something nobody said or even implied...
TiddyAndFletch · 12/07/2021 12:07

My husband isn't a football fan so we didn't even watch it. My elderly father was going to watch it but probably fell asleep in his chair afterwards.

I don't think the hooligans are necessarily fans - they're just racists and meat-heads looking for a fight or (what they see as) an excuse to get drunk and create havoc.

Original poster
Sandinmyknickers · 12/07/2021 12:11

@FloconDeNeige

So, this is actually women’s fault, then? WTAF? Can’t men take responsibility for their own atrocious behaviour?
I'm sorry you read it that way. I didnt write it that way.

I'm actually trying really hard not to lay blame or be judgemental (in regard to their families). My point more is linked I suppose to what women have been trying to say for ages about why 'not all men' doesnt work. The thought that these thugs could be around me in my daily life and are not clear 'bad guys' or identifiable things normally, sickens and terrifies me. Which is why I am so curious as to who these people are?
Is the 'nice' man who helped me up the stairs with my suitcase the other day one of these thugs? Are they otherwise leading respectable lives?

I know this is nothing particularly new, but it is so much more comforting to be able to just easily identify and label 'bad' guys and comfort yourself that it's a few bad apples, and noone that you might know....but is it?

OP posts:
britnay · 12/07/2021 12:13

Nope, mine was at home watching with myself and our children. I didn't marry a "thug" or "neanderthal", thanks.

MouldyPotato · 12/07/2021 12:14

No one who knows them is going to be posting about it on Social Media

Itsprobablynotcominghome · 12/07/2021 12:16

The problem is that as a society we think these people are a tiny minority.

We sweep it away, blame social media, blame alcohol, blame lockdown, blame anything or anyone but ourselves.

Feelingoktoday · 12/07/2021 12:17

I agree OP. Someone’s husband, partner, brother, child. Men need to start questioning their friends about their sexist/racist/yobbish behaviour and walk away from it. But they don’t. They sit in pubs, football grounds etc listening to racist chants, shouting at the TV along with their mates then they go home. They need to call out this behaviour.

malteasergeezer · 12/07/2021 12:19

It's no worse than it ever was. Just remember Heysel in 1985 and thank your lucky starts hooliganism has considerably lessened since then.

Growing up in London in the 70s and 80s I can tell you all about hooliganism as I lived near a particular stadium in N London. All of them white males, ICF style with too many tats. Some things never change Sad.

Original poster
Sandinmyknickers · 12/07/2021 12:20

@MouldyPotato

No one who knows them is going to be posting about it on Social Media
People post on here anonymously all the time about awful things their partners/ex partners have done, or how they maybe feel like they dont have control of their DC who has gone off the rails, or friends of partners they disapprove of etc. I guess I was just hoping for some insight, as the thought scares me
OP posts:
MouldyPotato · 12/07/2021 12:21

I meant that's why noone seems to know them?
But no I don't know them sorry.

pinkcircustop · 12/07/2021 12:22

@Feelingoktoday

I agree OP. Someone’s husband, partner, brother, child. Men need to start questioning their friends about their sexist/racist/yobbish behaviour and walk away from it. But they don’t. They sit in pubs, football grounds etc listening to racist chants, shouting at the TV along with their mates then they go home. They need to call out this behaviour.
Nope. Men shouldn’t be calling out other men’s behaviour anymore than women should be calling out other women’s behaviour.

Good old nice Bob down the street isn’t responsible for hooligan thug Robbie.

People are individuals and behave as individuals.

Wrotten · 12/07/2021 12:24

I do not associate with people who would act in such a way, and I'm actually not a massive football fan because of the way it's ruined by hooligans and thugs.

It's fucking disgusting.

DrSbaitso · 12/07/2021 12:24

The only objection that mine had about the game was that I spent all evening watching it (he didn't), then it lasted an hour longer than expected, so he didn't get sex last night.

"Cock blocked by the fucking Euros" was how he put it.

I can't imagine that any woman, or indeed man, related to any of the thugs is going to be pleased about it...

Itsprobablynotcominghome · 12/07/2021 12:25

I’m just disappointed they covered the graffiti on the Rashford mural.

That should have been on the front pages tomorrow.

This country needs a mirror held up to it. It is the only way it can change.

Bluesheep8 · 12/07/2021 12:26

So, this is actually women’s fault, then? WTAF? Can’t men take responsibility for their own atrocious behaviour?

Eh? Who said that?Confused

Knitwit101 · 12/07/2021 12:27

One of my work colleagues caught on camera in similar circumstances a while back. It was really bizarre, he is such an ordinary, quiet person in the office and there he was on screen behaving like a proper hooligan. He was standing on a car bonnet at one point.
He was absolutely mortified when he came back to work, I don't think he said a single word to anyone for weeks.
I think the police interviewed him about the car bonnet but I don't know what happened after that. He didn't go to jail for sure but he might have been fined or something, I don't know.
He didn't get any grief about it at work because he was clearly so horrified by his behaviour. I know our managers spoke to him but no idea what was said.
Got drunk and caught up in the group behaviour I guess. I'm going to say totally out of character but I don't know if that's true, I have no idea what he was normally like at weekends.

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme · 12/07/2021 12:30

@britnay

Nope, mine was at home watching with myself and our children. I didn't marry a "thug" or "neanderthal", thanks.
So as yours was at home watching the match, OP was very clearly not referring to you or yours
RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 12/07/2021 12:31

Nope. Men shouldn’t be calling out other men’s behaviour anymore than women should be calling out other women’s behaviour

I think the OP was also referring to friends and family

Would you not tell a friend they were being out of order?

Marmite27 · 12/07/2021 12:31

I have no sons. DH was at home with me.

FiL and one BiL were at PiLs, other BiL was at home with his newborn.

DF doesn’t like football, and DBro was looking after the kids as his police officer wife was working.

Friends variously were at home, or working.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 12/07/2021 12:32

Oh and no….no family member of mine was doing this