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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder who these hooligans are?

142 replies

Sandinmyknickers · 12/07/2021 11:45

I'm sure we are all sickened by some of the footage and images of horrendous, violent antics by some England fans last night. I really dont have the words to describe them- thugs, hooligans, vandals, Neanderthals...take your pick

But AIBU to ask...are any of them your DS or DP/DH? And if so, what are your thoughts on their behaviour?

Everyone seems to be outraged at their behaviour.. but yet noone seems to know them? They all must be someones DS or maybe DP surely? They must have families? And looking at the footage there were loads of them?!

Did any of your male family members (I know there were some women but it is overwhelmingly male) go out causing havoc on the streets last night throwing bottles, fighting, getting naked etc (not just general pub beers)? How do you feel about it? I genuinely cant get my head around it. Are they respectable people normally?

OP posts:
Flaunch · 12/07/2021 12:34

I don’t think there’s as many of these arseholes as the media would have us believe. They love stirring up hatred and blame.

malteasergeezer · 12/07/2021 12:37

@DrSbaitso

The only objection that mine had about the game was that I spent all evening watching it (he didn't), then it lasted an hour longer than expected, so he didn't get sex last night.

"Cock blocked by the fucking Euros" was how he put it.

I can't imagine that any woman, or indeed man, related to any of the thugs is going to be pleased about it...

He sounds vile.
pinkcircustop · 12/07/2021 12:37

I think the OP was also referring to friends and family

Would you not tell a friend they were being out of order?

@RufustheBadgeringReindeer I was not responding to OP but specifically the poster who said generically that men need to call out other men’s behaviour.

warmandtoasty2day · 12/07/2021 12:39

@DrSbaitso

The only objection that mine had about the game was that I spent all evening watching it (he didn't), then it lasted an hour longer than expected, so he didn't get sex last night.

"Cock blocked by the fucking Euros" was how he put it.

I can't imagine that any woman, or indeed man, related to any of the thugs is going to be pleased about it...

if i was in your shoes and twatty dh said that to me i'd be sleeping in the spare room. what a tosser.
DrSbaitso · 12/07/2021 12:41

He sounds vile.

Thanks for your input. He isn't. It was a joke (you really should have heard the delivery) and we both laughed.

habibihabibi · 12/07/2021 12:41

I used to live very near CFC in London.
It was manic and sometimes very frightening on match days. The police presence was huge but still behaviour was horrific. Once there was a rugby game being shown in the pub I was in and 60 something aged footballer shirted guys just stormed in and ripped the tv off the wall. Not young yobs ..mindless grandfather aged men.

DrSbaitso · 12/07/2021 12:44

if i was in your shoes and twatty dh said that to me i'd be sleeping in the spare room. what a tosser.

If you were in my shoes, you'd know my humour, his humour, the way it was delivered, and you'd laugh with him and sleep in his arms all night.

EmmalineC · 12/07/2021 12:44

I think the men featured on TV footage probably don't have jobs where their integrity may be questioned, or families who are perturbed by their behaviour.

None of the men I know, including colleagues, friends and family members, would act like they did in private, let alone in public.

I doubt very much if any of the bad guys lead moral and upstanding lives away from football.

My DH is a lifelong football fan, goes to matches at their home ground (pre-Covid), sometimes with the DC, and has never been involved in any kind of fracas - and I am not being naive, it's not the type of man he is. He walks away from violence.

WhyTheEffNot · 12/07/2021 12:47

Growing up I knew a football hooligan. We weren’t friends, but he was a friend of my then-boyfriend. He seemed a generally normal chap, his stance was an anti-racist stance, like those of the 80s but maybe he liked fighting as well, not sure.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 12/07/2021 12:48

@pinkcircustop

I think the OP was also referring to friends and family

Would you not tell a friend they were being out of order?

@RufustheBadgeringReindeer I was not responding to OP but specifically the poster who said generically that men need to call out other men’s behaviour.

Sorry i did mean that poster…

Id tell male or female friends or colleagues they were out of order

DadOnIce · 12/07/2021 12:48

And why is it always football that's associated with this?

Why do you never get drunken fans going on the rampage after England do badly in the Rugby Six Nations (which happens as often as they do well), or Andy Murray loses at Wimbledon (which he has done more than he's won), or Mo Farah gets beaten in a race (which can happen)?

whoami24601 · 12/07/2021 12:56

I used to work with one of these 'lads'. He was a grown man with 4 children at home. Lost his job because he went to prison for football hooliganism. Got a ban and wasn't allowed within a certain distance of our team's matches. When we went to Wembley for a play off he travelled down specially to cause trouble. Was caught on camera and sent back to prison. The culture amongst his friends and family was a bit like it was all a joke and ridiculous. Eye rolling and 'what is he like?' type comments. No-one took it seriously and he was generally well liked at work. The whole thing was bizarre and I steered well clear!

FictionalCharacter · 12/07/2021 12:57

@Flaunch

I don’t think there’s as many of these arseholes as the media would have us believe. They love stirring up hatred and blame.
There’s still a lot. If you look at the footage from Leicester Square alone, it wasn’t just a few.

I don’t know anyone like this but I wonder if some of the wives/girlfriends are frightened of them and choose to turn a blind eye. We should also remember that plenty of people, including some mothers, distance themselves and say “boys will be boys” and other ridiculous excuses. Maybe they are scared of them too, maybe they just feel helpless to do anything about it.

Iggly · 12/07/2021 12:59

It’s a good question OP and one I wonder myself.

I know people who I could see getting swept up in this bullshit behaviour as they’re bellends when drunk. Usually what happens is you get one who’s a complete dick and the others get sucked in and have no ability to say no.

Alcohol is the root cause of a lot of this. People drink because it’s addictive - unfortunately it makes you behave likes cock.

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 12/07/2021 13:04

DH was on duty last night.

Had a firework launched at him and was told 'his lot were the reason the s**s won'.

That was to a police officer in front of other police officers and he couldn't fathom as to why he was arrested. I genuinely feel these people are wired differently and I don't know anyone, male or female, who could put up with that or love someone with an attitude so deplorable.

countbackfromten · 12/07/2021 13:16

I live in Wembley Park, this wasn’t one or two men but hundreds behaving terribly. A whole spectrum of ages. It was utterly shameful.

Travelledtheworld · 12/07/2021 13:35

@WhyTheEffNot I too had a football Yobbo boyfriend in the 1980s. He loved going to a match for a good fight and some mindless vandalism. It was learned behaviour and peer pressure, fuelled by alcohol. Young men are very tribal in their behaviour and the weak point in any Seemingly civilised society .

Fortunately I personally was never at the receiving end of a beating to commemorate a team loss. But many women are, hence the 38% increase in domestic violence reports after a big name team lose.

Iknowtheanswer · 12/07/2021 13:42

A friend's son and his friends were there last night. I don't know if my friend knows, tbh, but my ds showed me the snapchat stories. I just hope that they got home in one piece, and didn't get sucked into the violence.

They are massive football fans, and, as they can't afford tickets to internationals or their club games, they often just go the the grounds for the atmosphere.

Sounds all well and good, but they are only 16 - there is no way on earth my ds would try that without telling me. (he went to a garden party with a big screen, some of them still manged to get drunk and stupid, but at least it was in a garden).

Pootles34 · 12/07/2021 13:47

A boy I was seeing as a teenager was a football hooligan - an Aston Villa supporter, they used to arrange fights with other groups etc. Needless to say I ran for the hills as soon as I found out!

You really wouldn't have known - or perhaps that me being a naive teenager! I remember him being very into his Keats weirdly - he really didn't come across as a thug.

Thirtyrock39 · 12/07/2021 13:56

Rugby fans aren't immune to this behaviour either tbf I think it's groups of blokes fuelling each other- what was that awful club full of student later mps at Oxford called? They behaved as badly burning £50 notes in front of the homeless and trashing restaurants
A lot of blokes are very interested in it as well and apparently the real trouble makers don't wear the football shirts it's the ones in designer clothes you watch out for.

TiddyAndFletch · 12/07/2021 14:00

hat was that awful club full of student later mps at Oxford called?

The Bullingdon Club. Boris Johnson was a member ...

remy3 · 12/07/2021 14:00

It’s a good question, “Who are the hooligans?” and one we shouldn’t ignore.

To my mind they are the suck undeveloped of British society. The following circumstances will apply to most of them -

  • uneducated / low intellect
  • unemployed or in dead-end jobs they hate, yet they don’t have the wherewithal or motivation to do anything about it
  • they prefer to blame others for their shit lives, rather than do anything about it themselves
  • insecurity masquerading as belligerence
  • tribal mentality - “splitting” - “them and us attitude” - xenophobia - racism - misogyny
  • Brexiteers (see above)
  • poor health with associated problems of alcoholism; obesity, etc
  • angry about their lot in life, but it’s easier to blame everyone else than take any responsibility for anything.
  • for these men, negative attention is better than no attention at all
remy3 · 12/07/2021 14:01

“sick underbelly” that was meant to read (though they are underdeveloped, I guess).

Sorry, should read before posting!

MotionActivatedDog · 12/07/2021 14:06

The reality is that the partners/mothers/sisters etc of the people who behaved like that will have probably become accustomed to it if not grown up with it. They’ll have reasons to justify and minimise. I saw footage last night of people storming into Wembley and then people who were already inside seeing a chance for a bit of action rushing over, shouting “fuck off, pay your fucking money” and then getting stuck in with pulling people over, punching and kicking. Those men (it was all men) will have justified their actions to themselves, probably with a bit of fudging of the truth (this lad started on me/the stewards needed a hand) and then gone home and regaled their families with their heroics. Their families, even when faced with the footage will say “but but but reasons!” I know people like this. Ive seen people I know make the news for fights at local football matches and the families always have reasons to justify it. It’s never their sons/brothers/husbands fault he had to kick a mans head in. Hmm

FirstIn50s · 12/07/2021 14:09

This makes for awful reading: www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2021/07/09/domestic-violence-surges-after-a-football-match-ends

It's one thing to see those ideas thrashing the place, but I fear for their families when they get home.

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