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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A library thought it appropriate to book this 'entertainment' for children and I feel sick

633 replies

flashbac · 11/07/2021 23:04

I thought it was a joke, a photoshop job, a hoax even but it's not.

WTF

A children's entertainer in a library with this costume?

twitter.com/StandingforXX/status/1414247886242598912?s=19

What the hell is this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 12/07/2021 12:52

You can put a pig in a suit but you can't stop it grunting.

A nonce in a costume is still a nonce.

Utterly, totally inappropriate and someone needs firing for allowing this.

Whatever happened to a little bit of decency and decorum?

BadGherkin · 12/07/2021 12:59

Using dictionary.com:

Meddlesome:

  • given to meddling, interfering, intrusive

Meddle/Meddling

  • to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation; interfere officiously and unwantedly
  • hinder, intrude, impose, trespass, molest, invade
theDudesmummy · 12/07/2021 13:02

If I had turned up at that library with my child I really hope I would have called the police immediately.

I am no prude, I am in fact a naturist and go to naturist beaches with my children when I am on holiday, swim naked in the sea etc. People seeing each others bodies, including genitalia, is not the issue, in the appropriate, non-sexual circumstances. This bloody monkey thing is both blatantly sexual AND designed to appeal to children. A bit like when I was a child and you could get chocolate cigarettes, so something harmful being packaged to appeal to and draw in children...only the monkey is of course much worse!

ScreamingMeMe · 12/07/2021 13:07

@candycane222

Sorry guys,got my post deleted as borderline outing. What I posted was this reply from a library in Sussex (pp says uni library?)(apparently retweeted by brighton &hove libraries too) - and it made me wonder why "queering the libraries" was a good thing, and for whose benefit?
There it is in plain sight. "Queering" libraries.

Just...why?

candycane222 · 12/07/2021 13:20

Why indeed? And even more troubling , if true, was this reply to the sussex library

A library thought it appropriate to book this 'entertainment' for children and I feel sick
shouldistop · 12/07/2021 13:24

What hashtag was it??!!

Ninkanink · 12/07/2021 13:26

It is true, and that slogan was also included in aforementioned materials sent to schools for use in teaching children.

Ninkanink · 12/07/2021 13:27

Or was it that grooming email pack sent to parents by a supermarket? Someone will know more than I do - it’s hard to keep track of everything.

CaveMum · 12/07/2021 13:28

@shouldistop

What hashtag was it??!!
“Love is Love”
Ninkanink · 12/07/2021 13:28

I believe it’s referring to ‘Love is love’.

It honestly is sickening. And it’s everywhere.

BoreOfWhabylon · 12/07/2021 13:28

@shouldistop

What hashtag was it??!!
The LoveIsLove one
shouldistop · 12/07/2021 13:29

Horrible.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/07/2021 13:31

For good reason. I don’t think it’s up to you to decide people need to see topics they have chosen to exclude.

The topic in question is child safeguarding. If that isn't widely relevant on a site called "mumsnet" then I don't know what is.

Its something we all have responsibility for, not just women.

Genuine kink/fetish folk I've met are pretty hot on consent, a key part of which is making the choice to engage. These are just perverts getting off on exhibitionism and potential for grooming.

endofthelinefinally · 12/07/2021 13:32

Asda was sending out a schools pack with a board game suggesting body parts that could be put together...

WhatMattersMost · 12/07/2021 13:34

@shouldistop

What hashtag was it??!!
Loveislove
Whatwouldscullydo · 12/07/2021 13:34

And then a day or 2 after they were called out fir the materials in the pack, the NAHT tweeted their support/collaboration with the same company fir their sex education consultation

rathertakenaback · 12/07/2021 13:43

@Winniewonka sadly at my library none of the volunteers are DBS checked. There have already been instances of volunteers being let go because of inappropriate behaviour and theft.

Cailin66 · 12/07/2021 13:51

@DankGraveGhouls I’m so sorry for what happened to you. Know this, you sharing your story about how you were groomed helps us parents to understand what to watch out for.

Winniewonka · 12/07/2021 13:54

@rathertakenback - that's awful. Probably another cost cutting exercise. Is it a council run library or one that volunteers have taken over to avoid closure?
It saddens me that there are libraries trying to encourage a love of reading and a welcoming place for everyone but because of the actions of Redbridge and others, we're all deemed to be the same.

candycane222 · 12/07/2021 14:00

Re the hashtag #LoveisLove, to be fair, a lot of people just use it to celebrate homosexual relationships. Which I don't have a problem with (well, it's a bit saccharine to my eyes, byut not wrong). So I'm not sure its been compeltely co-opted by people with bad impulses - but then this is just on the basis of a very quick google.

Nonetheless, not sure what drag queens have to do wtih love, and "Queer the Libraries" I definitely object to.

Fuckitfuckit · 12/07/2021 14:02

Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?

What the fuck is this world coming to?

ChristinaXYZ · 12/07/2021 14:14

@DankGraveGhouls

Take away the rainbow fur and what are you left with? A unknown man walking around encouraging children to touch his plastic dildo. Wrong. As a parent if your first instinct isn't "get the fuck away from my kid" then you need to have a good, hard look at yourself and your priorities.

What also really pisses me off is the picture of them next to the Muslim families with women in burkhas. Its not my religion, and I know that there is an element of control/sexism etc, but modesty is important to those ladies and this totally disrespects that.

Now, I'm going to share a personal experience to explain why this is problematic from a safeguarding perspective for people who might think that this is art, that it's ok, that genitals aren't the problem.

TRIGGER WARNING BELOW

I was repeatedly abused by a relative who is peadophile as a child of 4 or 5, and one of the things that happened was that he had a BBQ apron with a print of a bare chest with a printed apron on, and it had a sewn on fake penis underneath it. First the peado made me hold the fabric penis whilst my mum and dad laughed and once I was used to that he got me alone and switched it for his actual penis.

Now, it was already funny when i held his fabric penis, so following that lead it felt like it should be "okay" to touch his real penis. I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents because they had laughed at my discomfort earlier and encouraged my boundaries to be crossed.

That erosion of safety leads to something called complex PTSD, its like what soldiers get but rather than recreating wartime violence sex abuse CPTSD sufferers recreated the horror of being abused, the helplessness, the disgust and fear by someone who is meant to protect them. It destroys lives.

I might email that to the libraries involved, actually.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Adults have to acknowledge boundaries and stand up to people who call them prudes. It is the only way to safe guard kids.
azimuth299 · 12/07/2021 14:17

This is awful, I feel so sorry for the kids exposed to this.

What is going to happen to them if another man exposes himself to them? The last time it happened, their parents laughed and took photos. The person doing it wasn't treated as threatening, in fact their parents encouraged them to interact.

How is this not setting them up to be vulnerable to predators?

ChristinaXYZ · 12/07/2021 14:18

I don't know if this has already been posted but the local MP has written to register his concern

twitter.com/Ecuadorian_Mum/status/1414568338366291969

and council leader has put out a statement

twitter.com/Jas_Athwal/status/1414562869375606795

PurpleHoodie · 12/07/2021 14:19

I am so sorry this happened to you. Adults have to acknowledge boundaries and stand up to people who call them prudes. It is the only way to safe guard kids

Hence the anger over the WiSpa incident.