To think my neighbour is an inconsiderate prick!

[EpsomQ]

Hi. Just a bit of background. Me and my dh had to sell our first home a few years back when dh was unexpectedly made redundant. He found another job eventually and we managed to get out of debt (completely) that we accumulated whist dh was out of work. We weren’t able to get back on to the property ladder so we moved into a lovely private rented house with our 2dc. We’d have happily stayed there as it was a nice albeit small house with lovely neighbours however our landlord had to sell due to her divorce.

After waiting around 3 months and being on the verge of homelessness the council offered us a house. We were so relieved and happy especially since the house didn’t need a lot of work doing to it and it was in walking distance to both of our dd’s schools. We got to work decorating carpeting etc and we made it into a lovely home. The street itself is actually very pretty visually not what you’d usually expect of a council estate. It has lots of greenery a place for kids to play and a community allotment. The neighbours surrounding us on the whole are lovely and the older kids who play out seem well behaved. So you can understand my disappointment considering all this that our only neighbour attached to us is a bloody nightmare.

He spends all day smoking weed to the point we have to keep our windows closed even in the warm weather as I started to lose count of how many times I walked into my living room and smelled it. My 13 year old daughter’s room is next to his and at night she can’t keep her window open as he smokes weed in his room. He usually smoke
It in the back garden and it wafts into our garden but the last few days I’ve come home from work to find him stood on his front door step puffing away as casual as anything. AIBU to think he is an arrogant hard faced prick? I’m currently trying to decide how best to handle it as I’m not sure. Dh said he will go and speak to him but we have no idea how he will react. The other option is phoning the police but I don’t know what they would do. The guy is around
19/20 lives with his mum and dad who clearly don’t mind him smoking it. The mum and dad also have a daughter who is I’d say around 11/12 years old. What would you do in my situation? Fwiw I know there are more serious things to worry about but the smell of weed makes me feel sick and my teenage daughter feels the same.

Yeah I know I need to be more assertive. I’ve never had to deal with this sort of thing before though. I know it goes on everywhere but in all the years since I moved out of my parents house I’ve never had any issues with neighbours.

@EpsomQ

If He smokes it in his garden that would be better. I don’t spend a lot of time in my garden so i only smell it when i’m out there hanging the washing out. Smoking it blatantly on the front door step and my kids seeing it is not ok.

you would hate living in canada/vancouver/every small town. There are cannabis cafes on every street. full of boomers.. BTW is your daughter confident enough to stick her head out the window and say something like 'hi, sorry to sound so fussy but I find the smell of cannbis really strong and it gives me a headache. would you mind moving to the back garden to smoke.....'

Yeah I get what you’re saying @Speakuptomakeyourselfheard

She’s confident enough in herself generally speaking but I’d rather me or my dh spoke to him.

@NettleTea well he might have one of those but he still can't smoke it. Vape or edibles only and good luck getting the script. Anyway it's unusual. Most likely he's just a regular stoner.

I think you need to consider moving and hope your next neighbours don't smoke. Unless he decides to stop smoking, the police and council aren't going to do anything about someone smoking weed and the smell upsetting you.

@EmmalineC

Report it to the council, assuming he's a tenant.

It wouldn't really bother me, to be honest. You sound as if you have landed on your feet with your house, and a weed smoking neighbour isn't that much of an issue in the grand scheme of things.

If he's 19/20, he'll be moving out within a few years, if not sooner. I'd put up with it, but then again, I prefer to remain on good terms with the neighbours and not create a drama when there need not be one.

This exactly.

@EpsomQ

Yes it is. Up to 5 years in prison for possession and up to 14 years for supplying.

ridiculous isn't it. spend a few days in the criminal courts. close to all the cases involving violence in and out of the home is fueled by alcohol. never by cannabis. and less dangerous to health than smoking..

But if it’s illegal why wouldn’t they do anything? I only ask as I genuinely don’t know as like I said I’ve never had to deal with this before.

@EpsomQ

I can’t fathom it either *@Nohomemadecandles*. Clearly a lot of people don’t have an issue with their dc having it wafting around their dc’s room. Then there’s me who’s genuinely concerned and feeling bad that I’ve moved my kids here.

I haven't commented on the issue of cannabis abuse, because I'm still gobsmacked that you'd rather whine about it here than take the simple action of requesting that it's smoked far enough away from your house not to affect your DD.

YOU know that the smoke is wafting round her room.
Your neighbour does not.

So which of you has the moral high (ha!) ground here? - the lad who doesn't know his smoke is causing nuisance to a child - or the one who does know, but is too chicken to speak up to help that child?

The first two paragraphs are irrelevant and make you come across a bit of a snob. Would you have posted the same thread if both you and your neighbour lived in mortgaged properties?

As others have said, first step should be to contact your local council office (if he is a council tenant) and ask them if they're able to sort it. Keep a diary.

My neighbours also smoke weed (but only occasionally), and we do have to close our windows as it wafts in. Very annoying during the summer months. (We both own our homes btw, ex council, on a council estate).

@EpsomQ

I can’t fathom it either *@Nohomemadecandles*. Clearly a lot of people don’t have an issue with their dc having it wafting around their dc’s room. Then there’s me who’s genuinely concerned and feeling bad that I’ve moved my kids here.

Yes, the rest of us just aren't as superior a parent as you are . If you feel bad you moved your kids there, then why not move out?

As it is, he's not a tenant, but an occupant. You start hassling the housing over this and the tenant parents will probably just lie and you'll have a hard time proving it and then they could become real nightmare neighbours. Or the next ones could be.

I haven’t spoke to him as of yet as I’m
a little nervous about the reaction I would get. If he smokes weed openly on his door step bold as brass I can hardly expect him to be a reasonable person can I.

@Dogvmarmot every condo developer and public authority in Canada is rn busy drafting regulations precisely because of this. Legalisation eventually will lead to more restrictions than turning a blind eye ever did. Which is a good thing imo.

@EpsomQ

But if it’s illegal why wouldn’t they do anything? I only ask as I genuinely don’t know as like I said I’ve never had to deal with this before.

Because they'll already have tons of tenants who have real nightmare neighbours.

Personally I vastly prefer marijuana smoke to tobacco smoke
< misses point >

Op, just pop around and ask him if he could please smoke a little farther from the house because it’s going into your children’s bedroom windows. He probably has no idea, I doubt it’s occurred to him.

Do so without your judgey pants on - plenty of perfectly decent and lovely people smoke weed. I’m not one of them - I’m loyal to my own damaging drug of choice, booze - but someone smoking a joint isn’t automatically a dangerous thug. You turning up all disapproving is unlikely to make him want to be accommodating.

@EpsomQ

I haven’t spoke to him as of yet as I’m a little nervous about the reaction I would get. If he smokes weed openly on his door step bold as brass I can hardly expect him to be a reasonable person can I.

Dunno.

YOU don't smoke weed, but you're not coming over as reasonable either.

Ok well I apologise for being so uptight that I can’t accept smelling weed in and around my home. My dh has just said he will go and speak to him tomorrow and see how we get on. My dh is quite calm and collected so if he can’t get though to him then we’ll have to take it further.

We lived in a council house. The neighbor across was murdered by two teenaged girls the first week. The next door neighbors were alcoholics. Regularly had fights and smashed up their own home. Police around all day and night. The night the helicopter hovered in our back garden was quite something!

Bit of weed? Wouldn’t be overly worried. He’ll leave home soon enough.

@EpsomQ

I haven’t spoke to him as of yet as I’m a little nervous about the reaction I would get. If he smokes weed openly on his door step bold as brass I can hardly expect him to be a reasonable person can I.

You're not covering yourself in glory on this thread, tbh. Your h said he'd speak to him, so send him along to have a word.

I absolutely sympathise. For 3 years my dd and toddler gs lived above a family that smoked weed. Despite having 4 children themselves ranging from baby to about age 10. They would smoke it in the communal garden or mainly outside their front door flat which is right next door to my dds. The flats have their own front door. My daughters flat had a small hall and stairs upto the main flat. Her hallways always reeked of weed. She couldn't open her lounge windows because they were directly underneath. They boiled in the summer. A fan just doesn't cut it you also need fresh air. She became seriously depressed and eventually moved into private housing to escape. I hated passing them everytime I went to hers. They were friendly enough but with the weed there was other drugs being dealt and friends hanging around the front doorway smoking weed too. Their kids were probably desensitised to the smell and yes they did have social involved in their lives. It made my dds flat unbearable at times and I could smell it on my gs when he came round to mine. I would ask him if he could smoke it in a certain area and maybe prioritise your daughters bedroom so say not out of his bedroom window. Weed is common though and I smell it wafting over my fence now and again but can't get upset over it. I would though if it affected the enjoyment of my home.

@EpsomQ

I haven’t spoke to him as of yet as I’m a little nervous about the reaction I would get. If he smokes weed openly on his door step bold as brass I can hardly expect him to be a reasonable person can I.

What bobbins! We have neighbours who smoke weed, do you think they should do so hiding in a bunker?

Maybe I’m not coming across that way but I know that I am so I guess that’s all that matters. I like to think that I’m respectful f other people and I don’t knowingly annoys others if I can help it so yeah I’m happy with the way I am thanks.

Well of course someone smoking weed wouldn’t bother you if you have previously dealt with all of that. But I haven’t had to deal with all of that so it bothers me. I can’t help that our circumstances and tolerance levels are somewhat different.

[quote EverythingWillFallInLine]**@NettleTea* well he might* have one of those but he still can't smoke it. Vape or edibles only and good luck getting the script. Anyway it's unusual. Most likely he's just a regular stoner.[/quote]
The whole point of the card is that you dont need a perscription, simply a condition for which a prescription would be suitable. Your GP signs it off, then, so long as you have tried some other medications, you are allowed to have a certain amount of 'street weed' because you cannot access aprescription due to the exhorbiatant prices.

It was devised and produced along with medical advisers/police commissioners and MPs as it was seen that there was a two tier thing going on, where the rich could be exempt from prosecution as they could afford it, and the poor could not.

Its nopt prosecuted because, unless you are dealing, its not considered a crime that harms mainly now. And certainly medically far less harmfull that alcohol and tobacco

But yes, talk to the kid. if he is young he is probably blissfully unaware that he is causing a problem, and far less likely to react badly than you assume, simply because he is smoking. If his parents dont mind, which obviously they dont, then his wider awareness probably stops there.