To think my neighbour is an inconsiderate prick!

[EpsomQ]

Hi. Just a bit of background. Me and my dh had to sell our first home a few years back when dh was unexpectedly made redundant. He found another job eventually and we managed to get out of debt (completely) that we accumulated whist dh was out of work. We weren’t able to get back on to the property ladder so we moved into a lovely private rented house with our 2dc. We’d have happily stayed there as it was a nice albeit small house with lovely neighbours however our landlord had to sell due to her divorce.

After waiting around 3 months and being on the verge of homelessness the council offered us a house. We were so relieved and happy especially since the house didn’t need a lot of work doing to it and it was in walking distance to both of our dd’s schools. We got to work decorating carpeting etc and we made it into a lovely home. The street itself is actually very pretty visually not what you’d usually expect of a council estate. It has lots of greenery a place for kids to play and a community allotment. The neighbours surrounding us on the whole are lovely and the older kids who play out seem well behaved. So you can understand my disappointment considering all this that our only neighbour attached to us is a bloody nightmare.

He spends all day smoking weed to the point we have to keep our windows closed even in the warm weather as I started to lose count of how many times I walked into my living room and smelled it. My 13 year old daughter’s room is next to his and at night she can’t keep her window open as he smokes weed in his room. He usually smoke
It in the back garden and it wafts into our garden but the last few days I’ve come home from work to find him stood on his front door step puffing away as casual as anything. AIBU to think he is an arrogant hard faced prick? I’m currently trying to decide how best to handle it as I’m not sure. Dh said he will go and speak to him but we have no idea how he will react. The other option is phoning the police but I don’t know what they would do. The guy is around
19/20 lives with his mum and dad who clearly don’t mind him smoking it. The mum and dad also have a daughter who is I’d say around 11/12 years old. What would you do in my situation? Fwiw I know there are more serious things to worry about but the smell of weed makes me feel sick and my teenage daughter feels the same.

Phone your local council or Environmental Health not for a complaint but for advice? If your DH has a word with neighbour's son or the parents from my experience you never know how those conversations will go or if it'll just make the situation worse.

@EpsomQ

It’s easy to say just leave it when it’s not you having to deal with it every day. I just can’t get over the cheek of him. Plus the fact there is a child who lives in their house. Is that ok?

Oh, I deal with it every day. It just doesn't bother me compared to have total cunts as neighbours who played loud trance music with thumping bass night and day. I just light candles and incense.

Could you put a fan on and maybe some air freshener?

You have my sympathy, I hate the stuff and it seems to permeate everywhere. Sadly if they are doing this on their own property, I don't think there is anything you can do. Everyone seems to be on this stuff now.

Offer to share the man shed?

Report to social services as a child lives with a drug user!!!

Yanbu, you shouldn't have to put up with this smell in your home on a daily basis. I understand most people don't care about cannabis or the smell of it but it is illegal for a reason. I feel the same way about cigarette smoke too. No one wants to smell nasty pollutants lingering in their home.

The police won't do anything about it so no point in calling them but start a diary and log all incidents of it. Report to the council and continue to report until they take action. If it was any other foul smell coming from a neighbour the council would have to deal with it. Weed is no different regardless of the smell only bothering some people.

Get some old tyres and burn them in the garden every time you're home.
It stinks and is smoky. But if neighbour complains, explain it helps cover the weed smell.

To be honest I’m rather shocked with how many of you who are ok with this sort of thing. Maybe I am being over sensitive but I can’t help the fact the smell makes me feel sick. We don’t annoy any of our neighbours as far as I’m aware. My dc are well behaved, we don’t play loud music or cause problems for anyone, so why can’t other people just be respectful of others.

It seems to me you're more concerned with your neighbour's apparent cheek in having a smoke on his doorstep than the smell wafting into your precious house.

He's a young man and he doesn't give a shit. Neither should you.

Pick your battles wisely with your neighbours.

Thanks @HoldYourBreath I will do.

I care about both. The fact he has the audacity to smoke weed on his front door step just demonstrates the sort of person he is. But the fact I have to smell it is worse.

Can you aim a fan outward from your daughter's window so it blows the smoke away?

And also put one outdoors by your back entrance to circulate the air and dissipate the odor?

Yanbu the smell of it gives me a migraine if it's very strong. So I have 100% sympathy for you and I have no idea how anyone can have their house smelling like that constantly. Its absolutely vile, I'd get your dh to approach his parents and say that the smell is affecting your children and is there anything they could do to lessen it.

I would approach him nicely and just ask if he minds smoking it in the garden
Tell him your daughter is asthmatic and it’s really causing you a problem
Start off nicely before going crazy at him ..
If he smokes it a lot then probably like a lot of Smokers he doesn’t notice how awful the smell is

I could do that yes but my point is I shouldn’t have to. I know I’m lucky that I have other neighbours who are decent but this neighbour in particular is a nightmare.

What’s wrong with your children seeing him smoke on his own front doorstep? That seems to be the place that disrupts you the least. Surely you’re kids will just think he’s smoking a roll up, you don’t need to tell them that’s it’s drugs or illegal.

I can’t imagine the council will be interested. Although strictly speaking it’s illegal the council/ police are unlikely to be interested unless they’re dealing it.

Oh neither me or my dh would go crazy at him. That kind of behaviour doesn’t get you anywhere. I just want him to have some respect for others.

You're calling the guy a nightmare and a hard-nosed prick but you've never actually tried talking to him about it. Just have a friendly word and say you're sure he's probably not realised but the smell drifts into your DC's bedroom window and could he maybe smoke at the other end of the garden.

@EpsomQ

I could do that yes but my point is I shouldn’t have to. I know I’m lucky that I have other neighbours who are decent but this neighbour in particular is a nightmare.

I can see it's a bit of a nuisance but not a nightmare.

I hate the smell of it too. But if it was the only annoying thing my neighbours did I would put up with it.

Are you serious? My dd is 13 she’s not stupid. She has smelled weed before when we’ve been around town so she knows the difference. Anyway why should she have to see something like that. It’s far from acceptable behaviour.

I haven’t spoken to him you’re right. But the impression I get from the neighbours who have lived here for a long time is that he isn’t a nice guy and his mum and dad aren’t any better.

Disclaimer - I don’t smoke weed. However I don’t think smoking it is indicative of poor character.

Just mention it to him, it has probably never occurred to him that it bothers other people. Which is thoughtless of course. If after the chat he continues, then yes, he’s a tosser.

I hate the smell too, but I would hardly call him a nightmare.