Sickened by PDA

[Inni632]

BIL and SIL are constantly kissing and stroking one another. Now that she is pregnant there's a lot of bump kisses and bump strokes. DH once told them to keep things private and we were told by BIL that they do much more in private 🤢

It's really becoming sickening. AIBU to not want to spend time with them

All the people on the thread saying you need to chill and you're the problem 😂. I cannot believe that they would honestly be totally fine with being sat on the sofa at the in-laws while BIL and SIL have their tongues down each others throats on the sofa next to them 🙄

Of course that's weird and awkward!! Completely over the top exhibitionism and it would piss me off too, OP. I think the water pistol idea is a good one! Having said that, I don't think I could get too worked up over a bit of bump stroking and the odd peck (although I would inwardly roll my eyes if they were doing it constantly) but boob stroking in company is beyond the pale!

All the people on the thread saying it's fine are presumably the ones that positively enjoy a bit of OTT public PDA either partaking or watching?

One time I went for my 12 week scan and there was this woman and her husband sitting opposite, she was slowly tickling his arms really obviously while he had his eyes closed and everyone in the waiting room was staring at them. Some things are for in private, not when you've got an audience.

The dry humping was before pregnancy. On sofa with her on his lap. It was honestly so scary Massively inappropriate yes. Scary?! That did make me laugh! Although it's made me think you're possibly the screamer at the Sistine Chapel!

If it's genuine my first thing would be to have an adult conversation about involving people who haven't given their consent in their sexual activity.

If that didn't work I'd do a David Attenborough style commentary.

Bwah I’d hate this.

It’s like those couples of Facebook though who are constantly posting about how in love they are. They never last.

Yeah, you definitely need to start copying them next time they do it.
That would be so funny!

@Sparklingbrook

young couple being affectionate with one another

They aren't particularly young are they? They are proper adults with a baby on the way.
Difficult to avoid if they are doing it in the same room as you, even if you avert your gaze it's still happening before you.

Lol. To me they are very young indeed!

To me they are very young indeed!

Young to me is teenagers who are very self centred often and don't care, and I'm not young myself.

Why should they keep it private just because you don't like it? Don't go round to MilLs when they're going round. Problem solved.
If kissing, bump kissing and touching makes you feel queasy that's your problem.

@Rosebel

Why should they keep it private just because you don't like it? Don't go round to MilLs when they're going round. Problem solved. If kissing, bump kissing and touching makes you feel queasy that's your problem.

They should keep it private because that's what normal adults do. It's entirely their problem that they feel the need to constantly do it, not appreciating people don't want to see it.

@Rosebel

Why should they keep it private just because you don't like it? Don't go round to MilLs when they're going round. Problem solved. If kissing, bump kissing and touching makes you feel queasy that's your problem.

Because it's SEXUAL You aren't supposed to do sexual things in front of anyone who isn't freely consenting Do you not know that yet?

All those saying op is wrong and that she is jealous are laughable! I believe those that need to do such public shows of affection are usually trying to prove that they are madly in love when really there are problems in the relationship. It’s also attention seeking.

Funny enough I don’t like seeing people shove their tongues down each other’s throats while I’m having my cuppa and biccie!

The pair know that it’s making everyone uncomfortable as they have been pulled up on it many times but continue to do so - to me that shows they have no respect for boundaries especially in others homes.

I would be spending less time with them and if they started they should be asked to leave. They are there to spend time with family not each other.

Funny enough I don’t like seeing people shove their tongues down each other’s throats while I’m having my cuppa and biccie!

You are such a weirdo. Duh! Everyone wants to see that didn't you know?

There seem to be two interpretations of PDA here. I interpret it literally as a public display of affection (not sexual desire) so don't have a problem with kissing/hand holding/bump stroking. However other people seem to feel this is more some sort of exhibitionism where the couple are getting sexually aroused by conducting foreplay in public. To me that's very different from a PDA.

@Confusedandshaken

There seem to be two interpretations of PDA here. I interpret it literally as a public display of affection (not sexual desire) so don't have a problem with kissing/hand holding/bump stroking. However other people seem to feel this is more some sort of exhibitionism where the couple are getting sexually aroused by conducting foreplay in public. To me that's very different from a PDA.

It seems clear from what OP said that this is the second. Humping and straddling each other, touching breasts and stroking bums is sexual behaviour. It's not just affection.

@Sparklingbrook

Funny enough I don’t like seeing people shove their tongues down each other’s throats while I’m having my cuppa and biccie!

You are such a weirdo. Duh! Everyone wants to see that didn't you know?

So it seems according to this thread

Oh Lordy. I would find this kind of behaviour so awkward. I would have to say something.

Its weird to have a full on dry humping session in front of other people. And no-one wants to see that, especially if you are related to them.

Reminds me of the scene in Friends where Phoebe has to leave her own apartment when Frank Jr Jr and Alice start getting into it.

DH and I are visiting my parents this afternoon. If this is now the socially acceptable thing we'll give it a whirl. I'm sure my parents will be delighted.

he would creepily stroke her and kiss her neck while she was trying to talk

This is so weird it made me laugh.
Tell us more please SirVixofVixHall
what kind of work environment was it, what did other people say/do?

My mind is boggling here!!

My brother and SIL used to do this, thankfully they lived a plane journey away.
They're divorced now 🙄

No advice but this reminded me of the worst pda I ever saw. I was walking with my dog and son along the seafront and saw a man who was about 6 foot away from a woman stick his tongue out as far as it would go. She ran across to him and latched on to it.

Don't we all do much more in private or do they think they invented sex? I'm assuming mil and fil were at it hammer and tongs at times if they've got three children... I agree with pp who said about chatting about consent etc. I feel like you shouldn't have to be subjected to a couple who "can't keep their hands off each other" (which other types of people use that kind of excuse to justify their behaviour...?) it's so disrespectful, smacks of insecurity and seems like they're trying to overcompensate for something...

@saveforthat

No advice but this reminded me of the worst pda I ever saw. I was walking with my dog and son along the seafront and saw a man who was about 6 foot away from a woman stick his tongue out as far as it would go. She ran across to him and latched on to it.

Eww that and the ballroom dancing. Stay away from the seaside folks.

visit at a different time to brother & wife, and make it clear to parents in law and the weird touchy feely couple why you prefer to do that?

I think some touchy feely stuff maybe ,like a kiss or hug .But this is a whole new level! I think its temporary though as their ardour will probably wear off once they have baby in tow!