Sickened by PDA

[Inni632]

BIL and SIL are constantly kissing and stroking one another. Now that she is pregnant there's a lot of bump kisses and bump strokes. DH once told them to keep things private and we were told by BIL that they do much more in private 🤢

It's really becoming sickening. AIBU to not want to spend time with them

@StormBaby

I always just think that people that moan about relatively minor PDA are just jealous. It’s not like they’re shagging in front of you!

Jealous of what?

If it makes others uncomfortably they need to stop

Your reaction isn't their problem. If it makes you uncomfortable, remove yourself from the situation. If they're in love and can't keep their hands off each other there's very little you can do, and very little you should want to do! They're still all over each other. How lovely!

If they really were dry humping in front of the family that is really inappropriate and very rude but the fact you've described it as "honestly so scary" indicates to me that you have a really strange attitude to PDA. Gross? Absolutely. But scary?!

The rest of it eg. Sharing a kiss and stroking her bump I couldn't get worked up over. I'd find it quite sweet and be thinking "enjoy it while it lasts" because things will probably change a lot for them once the baby arrives.

Those types usually split up in a couple of years leaving us plodders to our dull lives.

@Sweetchocolatecandy

Why should they keep their love private? If a bit of hugging and kissing makes you feel uncomfortable then that’s your problem, not theirs.

On a side note, I find it weird if I’m sitting with couples that don’t show any love or affection towards each other and just act as ‘friends’. Lighten up OP.

No. The couple that make others uncomfortable are in the wrong. They can modify their behaviour. Onlookers can't change their feelings

@GoldieLow

Your reaction isn't their problem. If it makes you uncomfortable, remove yourself from the situation. If they're in love and can't keep their hands off each other there's very little you can do, and very little you should want to do! They're still all over each other. How lovely!

But they can keep their hands off each other can't they? Around other people, because they are adults in control of their actions who have now been told the level of their PDA (sexual rather than affectionate) makes their loved ones uncomfortable.

They can shag like rabbits, tongue kiss and grind on each other somewhere other than a living room with the family, surely? Like the rest of us grown ups.

It's possible to have amazing chemistry and mind blowing sex and still manage not to make your family feel uncomfortable. If you're a normal, decent, considerate adult!

@GoldieLow

Your reaction isn't their problem. If it makes you uncomfortable, remove yourself from the situation. If they're in love and can't keep their hands off each other there's very little you can do, and very little you should want to do! They're still all over each other. How lovely!

Oh get on!

It's rude.

God try harder. It’s the Euro final tomorrow don’t you know!

It’ll take more than this for a 10 place blowout

I am with you op would channel Alexia in Schitts creek - ewwww.

@Wearywithteens

“…we tend to have a brief peck on the lips/cheek when one of us leaves a room”

Jesus are you living in a place where there might be bears or something? What’s in the other rooms? Every time? I like just ‘pottering’ around my house and just being with my own thoughts - this would fuck up my day big style.

Brilliant exactly what I was thinking!

So awkward.

I mean just throw a glass of water over them next time.

That should cool them down.

@DameAlyson

Does MIL call the shots about things?

Why shouldn't she, if it's happening in her house?

I just don't see why those complaining can't bring it up themselves, why defer to MIL?

YANBU, but I wouldn't cut them off just yet. I have a feeling you'll really enjoy seeing how this evolves once the baby is born.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Again, if something makes someone uncomfortable then they have the right to remove themselves from the situation or not invite them to their houses. But if that's the kind of people they are, they're not going to change. If PDA makes someone "sickened" that's their problem. Not the couple showing affection to one another.

I had to look up PDA
In an autistic world it is pathological demand avoidance. I bet you wish they were practicing that
I hate being with people who are all over each other. Why don't they just go home

One time on the Tube, I stared at a couple doing a really ostentatious PDA. They stopped and looked at me indignantly. I said "what? You're putting on a show, I presume it's for people to watch?" With big eyes and an innocent face

Or do this. Make them feel as uncomfortable as they are making all of you feel.

PDA is grim, but comfort yourself that these exhibitionist relationships seldom make the long haul. Us boring types that keep it for the bedroom will be going strong long after the dry humpers have split.

*Wearywithteens

“…we tend to have a brief peck on the lips/cheek when one of us leaves a room”

Jesus are you living in a place where there might be bears or something? What’s in the other rooms? Every time? I like just ‘pottering’ around my house and just being with my own thoughts - this would fuck up my day big style.*

This thread is hilarious.

As soon as the PDA starts someone could pipe up with great detail about their vaginal stitches, sleep deprivation or anything else that makes sex after having a baby difficult. Either way, they’ll get a wake up call soon enough!

@TatianaBis

I mean just throw a glass of water over them next time.

Haha or a water spray.

@GoldieLow where do you draw the line ? A bit of under-the-blouse-over-the-bra action over the Antiques Roadshow ? A blow job while OP wrangles with a challenging trivial pursuit question ? Or maybe a full shag on the rug over a post-prandial coffee.
Only showing affection after all...

[quote GoldieLow]@youvegottenminuteslynn

Again, if something makes someone uncomfortable then they have the right to remove themselves from the situation or not invite them to their houses. But if that's the kind of people they are, they're not going to change. If PDA makes someone "sickened" that's their problem. Not the couple showing affection to one another.[/quote]
Regardless of whose 'problem' it is, do you honestly not think it's really bloody rude to sit and snog in front of your family in their living room especially when they've said it's uncomfortable for them? Wouldnt a nice person tone it down just to not be a complete dick?

The whole look at us we can't keep our hands off each other even around other people screams insecurity to me, a sort of attempt to prove yourselves as a couple. Plenty of us genuinely have that level of chemistry but just choose not to tongue kiss and dry hump in company. Because frankly, it's fucking weird!

All the couples I have known who do PDA have not lasted. It generally demonstrates a lot of insecurity, robust couples can chatto other people when they're with them and then have their displays of affection when no-one else is around.

If she is pregnant, children are great at interrupting PDA so you might not have to put up with it for much longer!