I’ve just turned off the router and gone back to bed.

[Shuffleuplove]

3 tween boys, idle but cute. Single mum. Their attitude towards me is increasingly disrespectful and rude. I’m sick of constant bargaining and shouting from them, and my picking up after them. I normally am on the permissive end of authoritative but I’ve had enough of talking and reasoning.

Hand hold?

Great thread...apart from the oneor two pearl clutching perfect mothers who never put a foot wrong and are quick to tell the OP it's all her fault.

My son is autistic with ADHD too OP. He's 18 now and has grown into a lovely young man. It's hard when they are smaller though.

Totally lol at all the people coming on and telling the OP what to do. She doesn't need your advice. She really doesn't.

Re: bedroom door slamming - a friend's teen slammed her bedroom door so hard that stuff fell off the shelves in her neighbour's bathroom next door.

@thegreylady

We made our landline into a pay phone when our 5 were mid teens. We were so stupid… they managed to break into the coin box and circulate the same batch of 10p pieces over and over. We saw them putting money in every time. When they were rumbled we used a lock on the phone itself. I think the highlight was finding an elderly Yorkshire pudding under a bed. It had been used as an ashtray! Smoking was not ‘allowed’ but we also had the incident of the coffee jar hookah and the very diluted whisky. Amazing they are all parents themselves and in respectable professions.

Teens (and children) can be very creative when they want to be

I'm glad they are already conceding their behaviour is wrong.

Mum power!!!

We've come close to the remote router shutdown. I have confiscated the Xbox controllers before now and only given them back after they'd done everything we'd asked. It's tough love but slow going at times!

[quote Shuffleuplove]@melj1213 I agree. So, I’ve taken each one aside and quietly talked about ways in which they behave which I find disrespectful. Middle one has just agreed that his screaming and shouting is absolutely unacceptable and has said he will stop.
I have just allocated some jobs which have been done with some grumbling. But the screens/WiFi will not be returning any time soon.

And the dog has been walked another 2 times and is lying sparked out![/quote]
Good lad Middle One.

Great thread...apart from the one or two pearl clutching perfect mothers who never put a foot wrong and are quick to tell the OP it's all her fault.

Indeed. I particularly liked the very judgy "How did they learn to speak to you like that?" Even without a manipulative arse of a father plus ADHD etc, it is perfectly possible and indeed commonplace for kids to pick up bad behavioural habits and ways of speaking. It is not always as easy for parents to undo those habits as some posters seem to think.

Got through teatime and youngest two have been to the park together without fighting so that’s good. Still some shouting, still some attempts at bargaining. Router is hidden down the side of the tumble dryer in the futility room, so they will never find it. Or that room.

I went to work during study leave with the Xbox controller and the router in my handbag.

Needs must.

You should send a photo of it with today's paper, like a hostage. It's release can be negotiated. Unlike Governments with terrorists, my DC will negotiate with their mother if the cause and price is right.

You should send a photo of it with today's paper, like a hostage.

You are awesome 👌 x

Second wave rebellion coming from rather tearful youngest. He said, after a big breath and silent build up:
“DAD IS BETTER”.

Lmao. He says he’s going to live there. They rang Dad and, funnily enough he has a lot of work on and he will see them as arranged next week.

Youngest then lost it entirely and shouted “you’re shitting me up mum!”

I think that’s probably a hostile statement. Am now outside, cleaning the car. Not budging.

You're brilliant OP! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Oh yes had that abs maybe it’s better if I live with Daddy

Have they tried the he not really wanting dinner obviously too sad to eat - don’t worry it doesn’t last long

That must sting, shuffle! Don't take it personally.

Our DC would spend ages in the shower despite us pointing out that it was electric and not meant to be used for such marathon bathing sessions . We needed drastic measures so waited until DS was showering and wouldn’t get out then turned off the power by the isolating switch on the fuse box.This immediately turned the hot water icy cold and shrieks and squeals very quickly followed . We told them both that that the shower had shut down because it had a cut out feature to protect the circuit from burning out- we didn’t say that the safety feature was us!

When you said the hiding place was beyond the wit of any boy, I knew it would be laundry-related somehow.

Omg you must stay strong. Better to do this once snd teach them you mean it than give in and it all have been for nothing.

Sounds like your house could do with a big de-escalation and as the adult it’s your job to guide them through that.

When it becomes all power battles and no connection it’s just exhausting

As a parent and as someone who works with kids I can’t recommend this book enough.
There is no parent who wouldn’t benefit from some of its clearly illustrated tactics

www.amazon.co.uk/How-Talk-Teens-will-Listen/dp/1853408573?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Youngest has fallen asleep!
He was so furious I think he’s cried himself to sleep in anger. That’s slightly sad.

If only your ex's refusal to cooperate with their dastardly plan to move in with him came from a place of support, rather than self-interest.

Hid ours in with the cleaning polishing box under the stairs. DS went mental too. He had revision for a levels. Also took phone. Now when he got to university with essays etc he gave his phone etc to his girlfriend 😅

HerrenaHarridan, I believe OP has this nailed. She doesn't need to read the book.

In fact, I think she's writing the book, now, in real time. It's going to be a best seller. 😉