I’ve just turned off the router and gone back to bed.

[Shuffleuplove]

3 tween boys, idle but cute. Single mum. Their attitude towards me is increasingly disrespectful and rude. I’m sick of constant bargaining and shouting from them, and my picking up after them. I normally am on the permissive end of authoritative but I’ve had enough of talking and reasoning.

Hand hold?

@Shuffleuplove

3 tween boys, idle but cute. Single mum. Their attitude towards me is increasingly disrespectful and rude. I’m sick of constant bargaining and shouting from them, and my picking up after them. I normally am on the permissive end of authoritative but I’ve had enough of talking and reasoning.

Hand hold?

I had enough of all 3 of mine arguing over soke piece of Technology or TV, so I took all the devices off them, put them in a place they cannot reach and took the plugs off of their TV's.

They've not had their phones back for 3 months (Younger 2 just use them for games, old iPhone, no contract.) Tablets have also been confiscated. Eldest can keep her phone because she needs it.

No more arguments about phones or tablets, they have all compromised on what they would like to watch on the TV in the lounge, but mostly they have been drawing, colouring and actually playing nicely together with their toys.

I'll let them play on technology at some point, but for now it's blissful peace and quiet while I stuff my face with -CHERRY JAFFACAKES- in the bath and a carton of their strawberry milkshake I pinched.

Mummy 1 - Kids 0

I thought 3 was Charmed as a teen, how wrong I was. They definitely come in 3's though.

So I salute you Queen! 👏

Did the same thing myself this morning. Two boys, lazy as anything, also single parent. Feel like a skivvy in my own home.
Router switched off and not allowed on til 2pm as quite frankly sick of their lazy attitudes and they need a reminder that it's a luxury and can and will be taken away!

@Shuffleuplove

Thankyou for your encouragement. They gang up on me!

There’s lots of door slamming and “this is all your fault”.

My daughter (17) has a temper, last week she slammed her bedroom door so hard the plaster cracked.

I told her that next time she slammed the door I would remove it and put a curtain in as she cannot slam it- she went to say something and I just said try me...
I told her she had her privacy as the curtain would do but the choice was hers.

I also have a decent router which lets me control EVERY device (wifi or wired) individually and set times / block each item.
I use it - last year (prior to lockdown) my daughter was on the new at 2am and was like poop on a stick at school the next day, I switched on the filter to prevent this

Please keep this thread going - pretty please.
I am loving it (think the sanctimonious shite from the perfect mothers is hilarious too).
Oh those days when my children wailed that had no clothes fit to wear and nothing to eat …

And had a plasterer on speed dial

@Shuffleuplove

Stay strong, you can do this. I took the router to work with me once before 😂

How long are you holding out for?

Yes girl! That’s a pro move! Sometimes you need to hit them where it hurts ♥️🤣

Mine are even younger and I feel the same!! You can do this. Somewhat dreading the long summer holiday, but love the idea of a rota. Watching this thread with interest xx

@LtDansleg

How long are you holding out for?

I'd hazard a guess that she will hold out for as long as it takes.

@Shuffleuplove

I never usually get involved with these threads, but I have read all of your updates and they have made me laugh. What a refreshing change from some of the m predictable MN threads. Stand firm

You sound like you have raised lovely boys

Go u!!! I’m in a similar situation but mine are younger. Since starting to see there dad again they are borderline abusive to me after seeing him! I got strict too!

I punished my children if they lied. if they told the truth there was no punishment. It helps them to learn respect as well as honesty. It is very difficult to control children. You want them to develop their own character, but the path to their doing that, though paved with good intentions, lead them to forget their position in the pecking order. You might have some success with them if you treat them as grown up and give them responsibilities, if you can.

How much do they know about your finances? When I was divorced and my daughter was 15 we sat down together and worked out what money we had, what we needed, and what we just wanted but did not need. The animals came first. It was really surprising just how much she understood and we were able to budget. Perhaps if you did the same, your teens might understand more. Very few parents tell the children what money is coming into the house. Why? If children know how much you earn in an hour, and how much things cost, how long you have to work to be able to buy an item, perhaps they will not be so quick to be so careless and wasteful, and might look after yours and their hard earned money.

Mine are all grown now and flown the nest (3 boys and 1 girl) - They were sometimes a nightmare with their laziness, attitudes, arguing and fighting. They have turned into lovely people. I feel your pain but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I had husband's help so must be very hard on your own.

@Shuffleuplove

Thankyou for your encouragement. They gang up on me!

There’s lots of door slamming and “this is all your fault”.

This should be set in stone. Yes, means yes, no, means no and there is no maybe. A list of jobs and the rewards that go with them. It's not up for negotiation. What will your life be like in 5 years? Sort it now.

@Shuffleuplove, I loved this thread & your hilarious telling of your trials & tribulations "Boutros, Boutros-Ghali had me in fits! On a serious note though it sounds like a lot of the problem is the controlling, mind-gaming, absent father. He sounds like a real horror who doesn't give a damn about his children & uses them as a weapon. Hang on in there, this too will pass.

Thankyou. He’s an arse. But happily he is no longer my arse.

You sound like a bloody amazing mum, OP, with a fabulous sense of humour (not to mention a capacity to retain it under duress). 🍰🍷 for you, I hope.

Welldone OP 👏🏻 👏🏻

Love this stuff! My son actually tried to stop me watching tv programme Malcom in the middle so I couldn't compare punishment methods! I too have taken phone away ,threatened to cut plugs off etc. However I taught by example by apologising to them if I'd been unfair or too harsh. I don't think you can go far wrong with being consistently firm but fair with lots of love &humour thrown in. Good luck op👏

Stand firm. You’re awesome!
I not long ago took my router into the office (we are meant to be working from home) every day for 3 weeks to stop my 16 and17 year old playing some wanky pc game.
It’s ridiculous. You’re not being harsh at all.

The boys, their future friends, employers and life partners will thank you one day.

I remember taking a pile of dirty dishes up to eldest DS bedroom, they make you deranged

Commenting to follow for updates as this has really made me smile? Stay strong OP!

A friend of mine's teenager kicked off because he didn't want to go to the beach with the rest of the family. So she took the router to the beach and he stayed home!