I’ve just turned off the router and gone back to bed.

[Shuffleuplove]

3 tween boys, idle but cute. Single mum. Their attitude towards me is increasingly disrespectful and rude. I’m sick of constant bargaining and shouting from them, and my picking up after them. I normally am on the permissive end of authoritative but I’ve had enough of talking and reasoning.

Hand hold?

@Shuffleuplove

There was an early morning peace delegation from the younger two. They stood at the foot of the bed and delivered a prepared press release about their plight, and an admission of the error of their ways.

Then middle one blew it by saying “that should do it. She’ll give in in a minute.”

Hostilities have resumed...

Please write books OP

@StCharlotte

I once stayed with my brother in his student house. He and his housemate had a row and she slammed the door so hard that the glass fell out and cut his back. I had to call a taxi and take him to A&E to be stitched up.

Happy days

Sorry to highjack the thread OP. I think you are fab for hiding the router!

Then middle one blew it by saying “that should do it. She’ll give in in a minute.”

The fact that he said this means you've not stuck to your guns previously and they know it. The first rule of dictatorship parenting is never give in

You need to tell them what needs doing to gain their goal.

I do. But they also need to go Cold Turkey first. Then it will be reintroduced as a privilege.

They’ve been to the park again, been swimming, and tidied the garden. Previously they did 3/5ths of bugger all.

And, for the SEN parents out there I was ALL about unlimited screens, it’s different for SEN etc. But the pendulum swang too far.

Or swung. Swinged? They took the piss anyway.

Cold turkey needs at least five days trust me I've got the teeshirt. I wouldn't be in a hurry @Shuffleuplove

OH and then it's rationed

It’d be gone for at least a fortnight over here. They sound really manipulative and it’s no bad thing they’re somewhat more disconnected from their father either!

I think you're doing brilliantly @Shuffleuplove and wanted to let you know that if you are ever wavering, there is a lot of support for you.

Also, 12 years ago @2389Champ?? That time has flown by. I remember reading your thread (didn't realise that the Playstation emerged unscathed from the event) but do remember just how far your buttons had been pushed in order to get you to do something like that. Good to know that your relationship survived and possibly stronger as a result too.

Keep going OP. You're doing great!

I know I probably shouldn’t say it - but the middle one is making me laugh so much. Please give us more examples of what he says. This thread is great. Keep strong

@Ninkanink

You need to channel Judge Judy - ‘As long as you live in my house, I own the air you breathe’.

Strong parenting with clear boundaries and an expectation of due respect creates strong, capable men and women.

I love this!!! Too right.

I remember @2389Champ too!
@Shuffleuplove , keep going, you’re doing a brilliant job!
I love 3/5 of nothing! 😆

@Sproutpie

I know I probably shouldn’t say it - but the middle one is making me laugh so much. Please give us more examples of what he says. This thread is great. Keep strong

Middle one is secretly my favourite. He sounds funny and cheeky which really isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things, as long as he knows who’s boss and gives his mum her due respect.

Middle one is properly crackers. He gives a personality to inanimate substances. I was cleaning some gunk out of his ears and he said “be careful with that. That’s where Mrs. Kiss-ankle lives with her babies. If you take them out I’ll have to tell her where they’ve gone. I’ll pop them in the other ear and that can be the kissankle baby day-care.”

He does incredible impressions of things - like a dead pigeon we saw on the way to school, the sound of the glass on his iPad cracking, the lip movements his teacher made when they had the sex education talk (a sort of embarrassed lip smacking!)

Middle children are meant to be hard work - it's their job.
They do, however, grow up to be amazing adults.
Can't say how I know this
Good luck OP.
You deserve a medal.

It's tricky when your DC are creative in their naughtiness! Hold firm, OP. I was a parent in the days of the Nintendo DS. We limited it to a charge a week, plus a weekend charge. I didn't need to actually pay attention to who was doing what, just charged everything ready for Friday and Monday. How they used it up was up to them.

We had other stress management tools as well, a picture chart of treats/calming activities they could choose from when they were getting hot under the collar. Things like a hot chocolate, bubble bath, audio CD, foot rub, to be cuddled up in a blanket... things that may help them diffuse and settle when life was getting tough. We chose them and made the sheet up together, so they had input on what may make them feel good.

Keep strong OP. What you are doing now will save you a lot of problems later.

My brothers refused to do anything around the house and were horribly disrespectful but my parents always gave them whatever they wanted to avoid conflict (they were great at storming out, breaking things, swearing/shouting in public etc). I remember one occasion where the youngest was being aggressive after having been told to tidy up after himself. I stepped in to back up my parents so he told them they should make me leave. They refused so he said he was leaving and not coming back. They agreed this was a good idea. He stormed out then came back in demanding a lift. He was 33!

Currently trying to nip this sort of behaviour in the bud with my tweenage boy.

”My friend once told his son who was leaving home age 11 or something to strip naked before he left. He said you came into this world naked and everything you have I have provided for you, so you leave as you arrived. Son changed his mind pdq.”

When ds3 was small, he used to say he was leaving home. Once, Dh took him upstairs to help him pack. Another time, when he said he was off, we asked him where he was going to live, and his answer was ‘down the side of the house so the roof will keep the rain off me’ - and apparently he was going to eat ‘dirt and worms’. Dh gave him a spoon, and took him out to the garden, so he could try a sample, and make sure he liked it. Ds3 decided he would stay.

[quote Shuffleuplove]@ExtraOnions I threaten to always always live with them and go on dates with them and help out at school in their class! That makes them squeal with horror![/quote]
I wish I had thought of that while mine were teenagers, @Shuffleuplove! It is genius. I did have a crochet poncho I was working on - it was a completely mad looking thing, made of a wild variety of yarns, and when I was making it, all three boys told me I was forbidden to wear it outside of the house. I didn’t realise the leverage this gave me - “Tidy your rooms otherwise I wear the Poncho of Doom to school!”

@Shuffleuplove

There was an early morning peace delegation from the younger two. They stood at the foot of the bed and delivered a prepared press release about their plight, and an admission of the error of their ways.

Then middle one blew it by saying “that should do it. She’ll give in in a minute.”

Hostilities have resumed...

This thread is everything. Stay strong, OP!

Middle one just burst in to tell me “I’ll put my bike away but that’s bloody well it.” Little shite, he’s 11angry

I just can’t get my head around even the image of my 11 year old speaking to me like that.

Op this has to be the start of something new.

Kudos OP