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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Piercing a 2yr olds ears..

337 replies

Thelogicescapesme · 09/07/2021 23:29

It's not a cultural thing in this case, more so the toddler is being treat like a fashion accessory. Mum had it done because mum thinks it's "pretty and girly"

As an adult whom has had to have two piercings surgically removed and antibiotics for complications post procedure I think it's fucking bonkers that anybody would inflict it on a small child.

AIBU and what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
strawberrydonuts · 10/07/2021 06:54

@Cavalierqueen

I think it's highly unlikely a person who would resent their parents for childhood ear piercing has ever had much to worry about in life to be honest. Still at least that level of preciousness has given me a laugh on a Saturday morning. Grin
If that's what you think, you are wrong, but OK. Glad you've had a laugh.

Truth is I have an extremely good understanding of child abuse, for various reasons both personal and professional.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 10/07/2021 06:55

@alongwiththesunshine

My 3 year old asked for it after seeing her cousin.

For us it is cultural but I didn't want to do it to a baby but considering she asked I went ahead and skipped to Claire's. She loves them! :)

Claire's?????

You had an untrained shop assistant use a piercing gun (which cannot be sterilised) on your 3 year olds ears?!

At least go to a piercing salon with someone trained and using a needle.

That aside I notice when I forget to take my earrings out at night. It's uncomfortable rolling over onto them and I only wear small earrings.

Imagine a small child sleeping on those when you can't remove them for the first few weeks.

Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 06:57

I hope not professionally responsible for abused children with that attitude.

SchrutesBeets · 10/07/2021 06:59

@LittleBlackCat22

I had mine done when I was two. I’m glad because I’m far too much of a whimp to get it done now.
Too much of a wimp, you say? Hmm, I wonder where that has come from.
Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 06:59

And if a children's social worker (which you may or may not be) judges parents in this way then they should absolutely not be allowed any decision making powers about abused children.

LittleBlackCat22 · 10/07/2021 07:02

@SchrutesBeets not from having my ears pierced if that’s what you’re alluding too

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 10/07/2021 07:02

Ugh. One of my pet hates OP. It looks so tacky.

Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 07:04

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Ugh. One of my pet hates OP. It looks so tacky.
At least someone finally is truthful about why they don't like it. And that's fine. We all have our predudices. I see a baby in an amber necklace and automatically think smug wanker parents. It's OK to think it but let's just be more honest and admit it's snobbery not a genuine, serious concern about child protection.
Youarestillintherunning · 10/07/2021 07:12

I can't stand seeing babies with piercings, really don't care if I get flamed for this but I absolutely judge any parent that decides to get their babies pierced. Babies are not an accessory, it's vile.

Chunkymenrock · 10/07/2021 07:16

Absolutely dreadful, cruel and dangerous. Also as the ear grows, the hole will end up too low.

Kokosrieksts · 10/07/2021 07:27

I cringe every time I see a baby with earrings. Lots of them in Spain. I’m judging the parents and not even sorry, I think it’s daft and unnecessary. As if your baby is not pretty enough? I also judge when little babies and toddlers are dressed in pretty clothes that they look uncomfortable in.

EleanorOlephantisjustfine · 10/07/2021 07:40

@lactofree

I have a Spanish friend who said that in Spain they actually pierce new born babies ears right there in the hospital if you so desire

I think it's an extremely selfish thing to do and is only for the parent's benefit. What that benefit actually is I have no idea

IMO it's child abuse

That’s disgusting. It’s an assault.
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 10/07/2021 07:43

I hate piercings on children and firmly believe it should be illegal until 18 when they can make an informed decision as an adult.

It looks tacky and I wonder to myself why they feel the child needs beauty accessories.

youngandbroken · 10/07/2021 07:47

Reputable piercing shops who use sterile needles mostly refuse to make any modification to a child to consent. For those saying that complications are rare - yes they are but that doesn't mean they don't happen and why take the risk on someone so young? There are no benefits to ear piercings. My mum took me to a pharmacist to get my ears pierced when I was very small, around 3 I think - it was in an area where alot of pharmacists were trained to do this and obviously used sterile equipment etc. My ears became so badly infected that I still remember the pain, smell and pus now it was disgusting and my ears never healed I have noticeable scars over two decades later so sometimes it is a permanent change. Just because my mum didn't think that would happen to me doesn't make it OK that it did, I was a child who had no say in the matter.
Also I was severely abused as a child, but just because happened to me was horrific doesn't mean that I dismiss any mistreatment that was less severe. Abuse is abuse, yeah there are different levels but none of it is ever ok.

youngandbroken · 10/07/2021 07:48

*too young to consent

Pinuporc · 10/07/2021 07:49

I felt really awful taking my DC for their jabs as babies/toddlers because I knew they would scream and wouldnt understand what was going on. But that was a necessary thing. I dont think I could do it to a baby or toddler for something completely unnecessary. If the earrings get caught on anything it could cause injury (it could at any age but a baby or toddler would not have the dexterity to try and remove the earring. ) and could also be a choking hazard if they came out.

My DD had her ears pierced (at her request) when she was 10. The place I took her to was recommended, but they did it with a gun. Her ears kept getting infected, and after a few months she stopped wearing them. Shes nearly 15 now and very rarely wears them.

Figgygal · 10/07/2021 07:53

Horrible practice when it’s culturally expected and naff and unpleasant and unnecessary when it’s because the parents want it done

rainbowmash · 10/07/2021 07:57

Maybe I'm a snob but it looks trashy to me. I associate ear piercings with adult women so seeing it on a little one looks jarring and inappropriate.

Babies and young children are lovely without body modifications - sticking piercings into them while they're tiny is vile.

Blows my mind that it's not illegal to cause this kind of injury to a small child. It's a total violation.

(And I'm a big fan of adults with body mods, and plenty of my own!)

Biancadelrioisback · 10/07/2021 07:58

I'm a huge fan of piercings (17 and counting!) But I had my first when I was 11 and my mam made me read up about what happens when a piercing goes wrong.
Tbh, I'd probably do the same with my kids. I just couldn't do that to them when they're small! When DS hurts himself he comes to me for comfort so I couldn't be the one that makes him go through that (medical procedures and vacs aside obvs).

shivawn · 10/07/2021 07:59

I wouldn't think its child abuse but I do think it looks extremely tacky. Something that you'd see mostly in underprivileged areas.

MangosteenSoda · 10/07/2021 08:03

@FlyingBattie

I wouldn't, but I couldn't care less if other people do. There is actual, real child abuse going on, and ear piercing is not it.
Exactly this ^^

Not for me, but couldn’t get my knickers in a twist about it.

sashh · 10/07/2021 08:03

CoralSparkles

I wanted mine doing at 5, on my first day at school I saw a girl with pierced ears.

I asked every day and eventually when I was 14 I was allowed them.

My mother told me horror stories of how my grandmother's ears had been infected and she had to have penicillin injections.

It wasn't until I was an adult and I was discussing it with my grandma when she came out with:" they were good earrings as well, solid gold, I borrowed them from ..."

Is it any wonder they got infected?

You had an untrained shop assistant use a piercing gun (which cannot be sterilised) on your 3 year olds ears?!

There are courses that teach you how to use a gun to pierce ears and that is what shop assistants' take.

Now piercing with a needle - I don't think there is a qualification for that.

FixTheBone · 10/07/2021 08:11

As a junior doctor I did chest compressions for 40 minutes under the heat lamps of a resusitaire on a 16 week old with, we found out septicaemia from a piercing they'd had 2 days previously.

I can still remember the screams from mum at the moment we stopped, unsuccessful.

Guess what I think about piercing children.

itsmellslikepopcarn · 10/07/2021 08:11

Piercing with a needle is a LOT safer than a gun, not only for the cleanliness but for the trauma put on the ears. I’m not a piercer but I have a big interest in piercing and even I have seen a serious amount of things go wrong with piercing guns. There’s an organisation caused UKAPP which is a non profit which helps a lot with safety practices. The majority of piercers I know are calling for piercing guns to be banned.

I don’t think kids earrings look tacky (I don’t know why threads like this come up and people are commenting about low income backgrounds, it’s rude) but I don’t think you should be putting holes in a child’s body without their consent. Decent piercers will only pierce children’s ears generally at a minimum age of 8, providing that they can ask for it themselves.

youngandbroken · 10/07/2021 08:14

@sashh there are absolutely qualifications that licenced peircers must have to be able to get their licence. You are essentially suggesting that a shop assistant in Claires is more qualified to peirce someone's ears than a body peircer. People who have actually worked in Claires have claimed that their 'training' consisted of seeing one being done, then doing one themselves and then being allowed to go off and train someone else...